crewcut6 Reviews

Hard Target (1993)

Guns, blood, Woo, Van Damme, oh my!!

[3 October 1999]

This is basically raw John Woo: bullets flying, fire blazing, good guys, bad guys, this movie has the whole ball of wax! In Woo's 1st American flick, Jean Claude Van Damme high-kicks and shoots as many baddies as he can trying to find the killers of the father of Yancer Butler's character right in the heart of the deep South.



Van Damme is as physically fit as ever. He sports a Kurt Russel-style hairdo in this movie, but his voice is as incoherent as always! His Belgium accent was really "hard" to understand, and it got to my nerves throughout the whole film!!

But, he busts up the good guys with real finesse. Arnold Vosloo and Lance Henrikson also light up the screen with their sleazy yet very believeable villain performances. The fight and shootout scenes in this film are amazing. Watching "Hard Target" was really a great experience, and it was worth the $2.10 rental! Watch the gunfight behind the wall between Van Damme and Vosloo. It might remind you of a good "Face/Off"!!

Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

Just kill the witch yourself!!

[3 October 1999]

What would you do if you had a back-stabbing wife or a beastly, overbearing mother? You'd kill them, of course! But, you need to establish a really good alibi for their deaths, though. That's the problem Danny Devito and Billy Crystal must decipher in this hilarius flick. Crystal is Larry, a novelist whose pompous wife stole his manuscript, and Devito is Owen, a poor guy who gets picked on by his Frankenstein for a mother, played by Anne Ramsey, who has the best performance in the whole flick. The chemistry between Crystal and Devito are great, especially during the escapades in Owen's house, where Larry gets his nuts clobbered and get thrown down the basement, while Owen gets his face slapped on by Momma!

The A-Team (1983–1987)

"Shut up, fool!!!"

[23 September 1999]

Now here is a show with the goods. "The A-team" is one of the best one-hour action thrillers ever to be broadcasted in TV history. It includes 4 tough and cool heroes, played by the late, great George Peppard, slick Dirk Benedict, the hysterical Dwight Schultz, and arguably the most popular star of the show, Mr. T. These heroes are wanted for a crime they did not commit over in 'Nam, and they've been running from the law ever since. Along the way to clear themselves of the heat put upon them, the band helps others who are victimized by crazed goons. With great action sequences, cool one-liners like "I love it when a plan comes together" and "Shut up, fool!!" and a catchy theme song makes "The A-team" one of the most enjoyable, adrenaline-pumping shows ever. If you don't agree, then you're a real stupid fool!!

Walker, Texas Ranger (1993–2001)

The trademark character for Chuck Norris

[19 September 1999]

Truly, Chuck Norris has found his stride as the smooth-talking, high-kicking, quick-draw Texas Ranger Cordell Walker. Norris seems born to play this type of tough guy, and he proves his mirth as he enforces the law, in the fashion of a true cowboy.



Norris not only gets to show his great martial arts skills, but he finally proves to be a swell actor as well, because he has numerous talking parts to equal the fight scenes. Along for the ride is D.A. Alex Cahill (Sheree Wilson, "Hellbound"), whose also Walker's love interest, and Walker's partner Trivette, (played by Clarence Gilyard, the nerdy computer freak from "Die Hard!"), who is equally adapt to his fists as well as our hero. Lastly is old C.D. Parker (Noble Willingham, "The Last Boy Scout"), Walker's mentor and former Texas Ranger. All the characters play with cool potential; they make acting look easy!

The Last Boy Scout (1991)

"And then some...."

[13 September 1999]

"Water's Wet, sky's blue, women have secrets, who gives a f---?"



Yeah, who does?!!



Anyway, "The Last Boy Scout" is a terrific action flick with a couple of the most put-down, shot-at, and punched-on heroes of our time. Meet Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis), an ex-secret service agent turned sloppy p.i. with a cheating wife and a foul-mouth daughter, and meet Joe's associate, Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), a former football player for the L.A. Stallions with drug problems. Together, Dix and Hallenbeck are one the case to find the killer of Jimmy's stripper girlfriend Cory (Halle Berry) and find themselves taking on greasy mobsters and a corrupt senator. And along the way, Joe and Jimmy share a common bad habit: smoking cigarrettes.



"The Last Boy Scout" is one of my favorite flicks because it not only has great action, but also a great screenplay. Sure, it's has a trashy dialogue, but it's a damn good one, filled with funny one-liners only Willis and Wayans could run. Anybody else would be awful. But for those who care about this kind of content, not to mention graphic violence and brief nudity, they should avoid this flick like the plague, but for those who DON'T care and love a good cheap thrill, they would love "The Last Boy Scout."

Pacific Blue (1996–2000)

The "CHIPS" of the 90's

[11 September 1999]

Welcome to sunny Santa Monica, where the beaches are warm and inviting, and the girls are clad in only in bikinis. No, I'm not talking about "Baywatch!!" I'm talking about the hit cop-drama "Pacific Blue." This show has the same intensity as "Miami Vice" and "NYPD Blue", where the cops not only clash with the scum of the streets (or in this case, the boardwalk and the beaches), but with each other. Jim Davidson and Darlene Vogel lead the colorful cast as a patrol unit of bike cops making sure the sand doesn't apply for a spawning ground for crime. My personal favorite character in this show is Monica Harper, the young cop who likes her job, played by the hot Shana Moakler. "Pacific Blue" has great action and good performances, and plus a lot of famous people make appearences in the show, such as the WWF's Shawn Michaels and Sable, and even, GASP!!!, Danny Bonaduce!!

U.S. Marshals (1998)

Great sequel, but this time....

[4 September 1999]

..... Tommy Lee Jones gets to be the star!



In this sequel to "The Fugitive", Jones returns as the two-fisted U.S. Marshal Sam Gerard who stops at nothing to apprehend a shady criminal named Sheridan (Wesley Snipes), but soon Gerard is after something much more serious than he thought it would be after going through numerous close calls like almost being the victim of sniper fire! Along for the ride is John Royce (played by Robert Downey, Jr., after being released from jail!), an uptight FBI agent whose as shady as the prey their hunting. Joe Pantoliano also comes back as the wisecracking sidekick of Gerard's, at least this time he doesn't get pummeled in the face like in the predassor of this film!



"U.S. Marshals" is a cool chase flick, though it doesn't have what it takes to make it big like how "The Fugitive" did. For instance, there aren't a lot of plot development in this version, and plus it's highly predictable. But, it has it's share of breakneck chase scenes, and Tommy Lee Jones is as great as always. Watch for the opening scenes when Gerard smashes a shotgun on one criminal's head. It might give you a good reminiscent of "Dirty Harry!"

In the Line of Fire (1993)

"Mitch, you got a date with my a**!!!!"

[3 September 1999]

"In the Line of Fire" has to be Clint Eastwood's best non-"Dirty-Harry" film ever, even though you see shades of Clint's trademark character contained in "ITLOF". This film has enough suspence and action to keep you to the very edge of your seat. Not only the phsyical content is great, but the performances were outstanding. Eastwood's tough and stiff as always, playing a secret service agent suffering from painful memories, Dylan McDermot plays the weary sidekick, Rene Russo is the agent who yanks at Eastwood's boxer shorts (Sondra Locke, eat your heart out!!), and John Malkovich plays probably his best role yet as the mind game-playing psycho who taunts Clint.



Like I said before, there are a lot of "Dirty Harry" elements in this picture, like chases on rooftops, sidekicks to our main hero, the madman character (with Malkovich does like how Andrew Robinson did in "Dirty Harry") and the showdown between our hero and the main enemy. Without a doubt, "In the Line of Fire" is the best suspence film for decades. If this flick doesn't recharge your batteries, you're probably dead!

GoldenEye (1995)

Shaken, not stirred

[2 September 1999]

Finally, after a 6-year absence, James Bond comes back with a vengeance to do what he does best; save the world, kill the bad guys, drink fancy wines, and make out with beautiful women, which sounds like the perfect life ittinerary for me! The dapper Pierce Brosnan is the newest Brit to carry 007's license to kill; his mission: to nab the scum who stole a deadly new weapon that shoots lasers via satellites. Can Bond find the terrorists and save the day? Is the world flat?

Pierce Brosnan, in my opinion, is the best Bond because he fits the spy's image pretty well. Brosnan can look rugged and handsome at the same time. Not only does he have the looks, but he is also the meanest Bond. Brosnan litterally beats the crap out of the bad guys! Which makes him the best 007, and along with the great stunts and pyrotechniques, makes "Goldeneye" the best Bond film in a long time.

Flash Gordon (1980)

The flick that made Sam Jones famous

[2 September 1999]

Welcome to the awesome yet campy world of Flash Gordon, a big-time quarterback who beats up aliens and gets the girl. Sounds like a film Howie Long would probably take up! Anyway, "Flash Gordon" is played by the equally-buffed Sam Jones, who was an unknown before this flick was shown. He totally eats up his role in a fancy way. Melody Anderson plays Flash's love interest, while Max Von Sydow has a field day as the evil Mongo, who looks like something out of an episode of the "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!". This Sci-fi movie has all the trimmings of a typical galactic space adventure: laser guns, flying saucers, aliens (How Spielbergian!). And I'm very surprised to say that I liked this film. Even though his other films aren't that great, Sam Jones is exceptional in this one.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988–1999)

"Movie Sign!"

[1 September 1999]

If had not been for the heroic efforts of MST3K, lousy, low-budget films would have been used a deadly weapons, and all of us would have been killed as a result of watching them! Possibly, this is one of the most innovative, intelligent, and downright funniest cable TV show ever broadcasted. MST3K is a one of a kind thing, it will never be imitated or duplicated.



Mike Nelson and his two 'bot buddies, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot are stuck in some weird looking orbiting space station called the "Satellite of Love", and they're forced to watch b-budgeted movies by a scary witch named Pearl, along with her cohorts, Bobo and the brain guy, in hopes that they can unleash the turd flicks onto the earth! But only our heroes Nelson, Servo and Crow can save us by releasing their funny banter to resist the films!



Too bad for a show this popular that it had to cancel. MST3K has always been my favorite TV show ever, and I taped a lot of the episodes so I can watch it over and over! Whenever the 3 guys yell "Movie Sign!!!", I'm there!

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

The best Bond film (Roger Moore's, that is...)

[1 September 1999]

This is, obviously, Roger Moore's best bond flick. It exceeds "Moonraker", let me tell ya! Second to "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," "Mookraker" has to be the lousiest excuse for a 007 film ever!! Anyway, getting back to the movie on hand, "TSWLM" has great performances, fun action sequences (especially the beginning parachute scene, it'll make your jaw drop!), and a logical plot. Moore does his dapper, debonair role with class as usual, Curt Jergans is probably the weirdest Bond enemy with his ugly webbed hands, and Jaws (played by the huge Richard Kiel) first appears, who without a doubt, is a dentist's worst nightmare!

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Better than the 1st and 3rd films

[31 August 1999]

Ah, the holidays. It's a frantic time of the year, as well as a joyous occasion. Just ask the McCallister family. They mistakenly forgot or lost young Kevin (Culkin) twice, and twice Kevin had fouled two moronic burglars Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) from ruining his Christmas. "Home Alone" is a great holiday movie, but it's 1st and 3rd versions was not that great. However, the 1st sequel is FAR more superior than the other flicks, because, well in my opinion, it has more laughs, better performances, and a better backdrop, good old New York City, my favorite town. Mack Culkin does a way better job reprising his trademark character, plus adding more sympathetic depth to his role. Where is that kid anyway? After "The Pagemaster" 4 years ago, Culkin seemed to disappear after that, then a year ago, the pretty boy got married at 17 years old! I'm a teenager, maybe I should get married that young, too!

Total Recall (1990)

"If you hear the crunch, you're there"

[31 August 1999]

Want to watch a great thriller blending the elements of a Sci-fi adventure with a spy flick? Then see "Total Recall" and give your brain and eyes a real treat! Arnold Schwarzenegger stars not as the usual supercop, but an innocent man with a great job and a hot "wife" (Sharon Stone). After getting a mind trip from a virtual reality center, he realizes his easy life is just a dream and soon must face bad guys trying to kill him, including his wife!



"Total Recall" was a huge hit at the box office, and next to the "Terminator" flicks, this has to be Ah-nold's best movie. Not only does the big Austrian do a great job portraying a guy at the wrong place at the wrong time, but the other actors are awesome as well. Sharon Stone is excellent as the ultra-nasty killer posing as Quaid's so-called wife, and Rachael Ticotin did really well, too, as Quaid's only ally. Watch the cat fight the two actresses have midway in the film. It's my favorite fight scene in the film!

Midnight Ride (1990)

Great chase flick

[31 August 1999]

This film has one warning, and one warning only: Do not under any circumstances ever pick up any hitchhikers!! "Midnight Ride"

is a cool action/suspence movie since "Frantic", even though it's practically a forgotten film. Michael Dudikoff is Lawson, a cop who is trying to rescue his estranged wife Lara (Savina Gersak) from a psycho named Justin, played brilliantly by Mark Hamill. Lawson tracks down Justin, who beats up the cop constantly, until the final showdown in a hospital. Hamill is awesome in this film, which is really a change of pace for the former Luke Skywalker. The only problem with this movie is Dudikoff, who has a cardboard-stiff performance that makes you root for the bad guy!

Excalibur (1981)

This isn't your storybook Camelot!

[31 August 1999]

"Excalibur" is the best film ever to show the King Arthur/Camelot legend. With great performances, powerful music, and good sword-fights, this is a real treat to watch in high school English class, where I had first scene it. Nigel Terry does exceptionally well as Merlin, sans the pointy magician's hat! And current popular actors like Patrick Stewart, Liam Neeson, and Gabriel Byrne appear in the film in small roles. If you want to watch a simple version of the Camelot story, watch "The Sword in the Stone" by Disney, but if it's raw action and elborate settings is what you want, watch "Excalibur". You won't regret it.

The Rookie (1990)

"Got a light?"

[30 August 1999]

I know, I know. "The Rookie" is a critically lambasted action film, and from what I've read from the other IMDb users, it's considered one of the worst films since "Ishtar"! But, I'll cut "The Rookie" some slack, because I happen to enjoy this flick pretty much. Yeah, the dialogue is a bit crappy, especially by Pepe Serna's lines; he jitters while he talks most of the length of time of the movie!

Well anyway, I thought it is a pretty enjoyable cop drama, due to the funny chemistry between Eastwood and Sheen, who do great Mel Gibson/Danny Glover impressions. The action is intense, and the suspense is quite strong, too. "The Rookie" delivers the goods for fans of the action genre, but for those who want a more logical movie, avoid "The Rookie".

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

"DON'T CALL ME JUNIOR!!"

[30 August 1999]

The long awaited 2nd sequel of the popular Indiana Jones series is, most arguably, the best Indy film of them all! This version has more action, better one liners, and a way better plot than the past 2 Indy flicks. Old Indy is racing the nazis once more, this time, he teams up with his Steve Urkelesque father Henry (played brilliantly by Sean Connery, who completely hides his James Bond image away!) to find the holy grail. While being chased and shot at, Henry keeps treating his son as if he were a little kid still, i.e. hitting him in the face and calling him Junior! But I'm not saying that's bad. It's really a very funny element. Harrison Ford does exceptionally well, too, beating up nazis, dealing with devious allies, and putting up with his nerdy dad. All in all, the best film ever in the adventure category. Best line: (arguing over the grail diary)

Henry Sr.: "I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers!"

Jailhouse Rock (1957)

The king of the King's movies!

[30 August 1999]

Elvis Presley scores big with a really good movie, and I'm not really a huge fan of his, even though I do numerous Elvis impressions from time to time! Elvis plays Vince Everett, a hothead who kills a punk in a bar and gets arrested for it. While in the big house, he meets this washed -up country singer, learns how to play the guitar, gets involved in a massive foodfight, and gets whipped for it! Anyhow, Vince is released and tries to make it big as a country singer as well, and receives great acclaim from producers, critics, and fans, but he also gets rough treatment from several scumbags. Just how does Vince get through all this and not mess up his hair once? It really amazed me. I finally was able to appreciate Elvis' singing after watching this film, and I think "Jailhouse Rock" is one of the king's most notable flicks. Ignore his other movies and watch this one instead!

Silver Wolf (1999 TV Movie)

Pretty good

[29 August 1999]

"Silver Wolf" is a heart-warming flick in the style of "Old Yeller", except the animal star of the film doesn't get shot in the end! Michael Biehn from "The Terminator" stars as a nature-wise ranger who has to raise his 16-year-old nephew (Shane Meier, "Sons of Thunder", "Needful Things") who just lost his father after a snowboarding accident. Together, they rescue a timberwolf and several bites and scratches later, the wolf gets accustomed to the kid and his uncle, while a gun-crazy rancher (Roy Schieder) wants the wolf's hide.

This film has nicely correographed snowboarding skills and good camera techniques. It's one of the very few films shown on the Fox Family Channel that I happened to enjoy!

Passenger 57 (1992)

"Always bet on black!"

[29 August 1999]

After watching "Passenger 57" for the 1st time several years ago, I vowed to myself that I will never fly an airliner ever again of fear some psycho might take it over and kill everybody! But, I enjoyed this film immensely. This is the best airborne version of "Die Hard" around. Wesley Snipes is a real hoot as the chop-socky airline security expert who tangles with British baddie Bruce Payne in places like inside the plane itself to a tarmac area to even a carnival fair. Aiding Snipes is pretty flight attendent Alex Datcher and airport manager Tom Sizemore, and in Payne's corner is soon-to-be popular supermodel Elizabeth Hurley, who plays a beautiful-yet-deadly terrorist posing as a stewardess.

"Passenger 57" is a great action flick with cool fight scenes and loud pyrotechniques. Watch the scene of the death of Payne's character. It's hilarious on how he screams!

Kindergarten Cop (1990)

"They're Horrible.....!"

[29 August 1999]

"Kindergarten Cop" is one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best films to blend family-based values with raw action, though most adults won't really consider this a pure family flick because of the crime-oriented plot. The big Austrian plays a cop named John Kimble who has to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher to find the whereabouts of a certain kid's drug dealer father. At first, it's a hell on earth for Kimble as he deals with all the screaming, whining, and crying that kindergarteners make, but our hero ends up liking his second "job".



There are some issues where parents have to take note about this flick, like the scene where Kimble wallops a man in the stomach after he learns the man abuses his son. Would parents accept this as a good concept for their kids? And the final shootout in the locker room, where Kimble kills the greasy drug pusher. It sort of reminded me of the Columbine High School shootings in Colorado. But other than that, it's a warm, funny comedy that boost's Ah-nold's image of being a comedic actor as well as an action hero.

Lethal Weapon (1987)

"I'm getting too old for this s%$#@!"

[29 August 1999]

Here is a good math problem: what do you get when mix "Dirty Harry" with "The Odd Couple?" The answer is simple, "Lethal Weapon!" Mel Gibson stars as Riggs a sloppy, violent, over-the-edge cop who is forced to team up with Murtaugh, a methodical, smart detective played with great style by Danny Glover. Together, they mix like ice cream with ketchup at first, but they become friends in their search of a murderous drug ring who are responsible for the death of Murtaugh's buddy's daughter. "Lethal Weapon" is the extreme in great buddy-cop flicks, making way for duplicate movies or shows such as "L.A. Heat" and "Tango and Cash." Gibson and Glover are terrific as the miss-matched pair, and Gary Busey is also great as the slimey drug lord Joshua. Watch for the final showdown between Riggs and Joshua. It's the ultimate fight scene ever filmed.

Revenge of the Creature (1955)

A revenge against the producers of this film would be better!

[29 August 1999]

This film gives all sequeled movies a bad name. No plot, no decent acting, you name it, it won't be there! John Agar, probably the lousiest actor of his time, slouches like a pregnant sloth as he tries to find a way to nab that gruesome slimeball from the deep. I wished the monster would have mutilated Agar, that would have made this film way better! Catch a young Clint Eastwood as a nerdy (!) lab assisstant with a fuzzy mouse in his pocket, not a .44 magnum!

Vampires (1998)

A film you can sink your teeth into...

[28 August 1999]

Tired of those run-of-the-mill Dracula/vampire horror flicks? Then try watching "John Carpenter's Vampires," which to me, is a cool hybrid of "The Lost Boys" with "Mad Max." It's a great change of direction for the old genre of vampire movie, because it includes elements found in an action film as well as the usual horror routines. The performances in this film are awesome, especially by James Woods, who plays the macho vamp-hunter Jack Crowe. Daniel Baldwin is Crowe's tough sidekick, and Sheryl Lee is the hot-yet very doomed girl Jack tries to save. Thomas Ian Griffith, who plays a bad guy for the 3rd time, is Valek, a really scary-looking bloodsucker that makes Dracula look like Don Knotts!



If you are looking for a great Halloween film to watch after viewing another cool chill film "Army of Darkness" (see my past review of "AOD" and you'll know what I mean!), "Vampires" is the right choice. Be warned though, if you can't take graphic violence such as disembowelments and close-ups of bloodsucking, this film is NOT for you!!