Foolish Reviews

Color Out of Space (2019)

What a Treat

[9/10 · 20 August 2022]

I grew up reading H. P. Lovecraft, Stephen King and watching every horror movie I possibly could. I couldn't get enough of John Carpenter and George A. Romero movies. The lack of great Lovecraft movies, has always been a disappoint to me. And even the few good H. P. Lovecraft movies, like the three from director Stuart Gordon (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND and DAGON) didn't stick closely to their source materials. Given the shortness of many of Lovecraft's great short stories, this is to be expected. And given the nature of "cosmic horror" it's hard to bring the terror of creatures so "otherworldly" - or indescribable that they cause those who see them to lose their minds or become forever changed (for the worse) - to the screen. His influence on other writers, film directors and artists has been profound. By why have so few filmmakers tried to give his work the grade-A treatment he deserves?

I was excited to learn that Richard Stanley was being given the chance to bring one of Lovecraft's very best stories to life. A story I had always wanted to see made into a feature, despite the length and obvious difficulties with narrative, time, and the "creature" itself. Even though I feared it could never be done, and/or receive the budget and production it deserved, I was both excited by and worried by news of the film being made. Especially by a director that had (unfairly) not made a film in twenty years. One whom I didn't know what he was capable of anymore. I knew he deserved the opportunity to make a movie again, but was this project was beyond anyone but a very accomplished and experienced filmmaker?

I am glad to report that Richard Stanley did the impossible. He not only wrote a screenplay that worked cinematically (although very different from the story), but he and his Production Company, SpectreVision, brought in a highly talented group of people both in front of and behind the camera. A wonderful, and weird movie, that finally gives fans of Lovecraft another adaptation to enjoy. An absolute treat.

Recommended.

Split (IX) (2016)

Don't believe the One Star reviews...

[8/10 · 18 May 2018]

After watching this movie, I have to say, I don't understand all the one and two star reviews. This is a return to form for the director of the excellent SIXTH SENSE and UNBREAKABLE. I haven't enjoyed most of his output since those first two films, but only titles like his misguided LAST AIRBENDER and the truly terrible THE HAPPENING are deserving of such low marks. I've seen a few real one star movies, and SPLIT isn't one of them. It's definitely worthy of higher marks. I can only assume those who didn't like it are trying to lower the average rather than rank it realistically somewhere closer to 4 or 5 stars (although I'd rank it higher).

It's a lot of fun. James MacAvoy is great in a subgenre that is normally pretty insipid (ie dissociative identity disorder movies). He deliveres a great performance that really helps to carry this film, and Betty Buckley also gives a notably outstanding performance in her supporting role.

Is it as good as THE SIXTH SENSE? No. Is it worth seeing? Absolutely. I'd happily see it again.

As for those reviewers who are upset that movies like this distort the public perceptions about mental illness, I can only assume they are too close to that subject to be truly objective.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

As Good as the First Hellboy!

[10/10 · 1 July 2008]

I took this in at the L.A. Film Festival closing night gala and really had a great time. I'm a HUGE fan of the comics and thought that the first movie was done just right.

I think Hellboy II: the Golden Army is as good as the first movie. It takes awhile to get used to Doug Jones' voice as Abe, but once you do, you see why it's better to have the guy in the suit doing his own dialog. And Seth McFarlane does a fine job voicing Johann (although not as I had imagined him).

The design work is superior to the first movie and the humor is ratcheted up a notch. The fights are better and more thrilling and the monsters are way cool. Great use of costumes and CGI working together (something Lucas should have done more of in the Star Wars prequels) to make everything feel REAL.

I expect many won't like it as much as the first movie because the newness will be lost. This was in fact my immediate reaction as well; but after a few days I realized I was just as excited to see it again as I was the first one.

The story isn't as grandiose as the first Hellboy, and the overall pace and build have a few problems.

*POSSIBLE SPOILER* There is also a tad too much time spent with the many love stories (one of which works better than the others - Liz and Hellboy), but they all play out well. And an AWESOME flashback that had me grinning from ear to ear.

PLEEEEEASE let there be at least one more Hellboy movie!!!

How to Marry a Millionaire (1953)

Very Entertaining, Shallow, Fluff

[7/10 · 17 September 2000]

Three models move into a ritzy apartment together in the hopes of catching rich men for husbands. Lauren Bacall, Betty Grable and Marilyn Monroe work well together in this fluffy little comedy that doesn't amount to much more than a vehicle for Monroe. That said, it's enjoyable fluff. Lauren Bacall is a stand out in this ensemble piece. Not great film making, but fans of the three leads will like it enough.

Tarzan (1999)

Squeezing a Cash Cow Dry

[2/10 · 3 February 2000]

This film represents everything wrong with the Disney money machine. It plays like a set up for an animated, Saturday morning cartoon show. It feels like an attempt to remake (and cash in on) the success of Disney's own 'The Lion King.'

That said, the animation is wonderful. Tarzan himself is AMAZINGLY WELL ANIMATED and the violence is handled as well as I've ever seen in a Disney feature. The computer animation and cell animation work very well together, but the pacing, story and the out of place music ruin what might have been a good animated telling of the Tarzan legend.

I grew up reading the Tarzan books. I loved them. They rank right up there with other "young adult" fiction like "Treasure Island" and "The Wizard of Oz." All of these books are classics for a reason -- they are good. They are great as they are, and terrible when rewritten. I am aware that a film (especially one aimed at an "all ages" audience with a running time under two hours) can't tell the story in the same way as the book. Movies must trim things. But to trim the story to the point that there is almost nothing of the original left is an insult to the audience paying to see a film based on the Edgar Rice Burroughs' classic. What makes it even worse is all the stuff that was ADDED to the story. None of it any good. What's left isn't 'Tarzan', but something else masquerading as it.

This movie was well animated, but lacked an interesting story based on the work of Edgar Rice Burroughs (who created Tarzan in his "pulp" novels). It plays out more like a music video for the first ten minutes and when it finally slows down and tries to actually tell it's story, it mucks it all up with irritating animal characters (voiced by talented people) spewing forth some of the worse dialogue I've ever heard in a Disney feature. The whole film plays like an attempt to capitalize on 'The Lion King' formula. Almost none of the jokes are funny and even fewer characters are memorable. This movie is only slightly better than the Bo Derek version ('Tarzan the Ape Man').

I feel sorry for the animators, because ever 15 minutes or so there was a scene that felt "right." Unfortunately, each of these scenes is lost in a formulaic mess of a movie. I kept getting the feeling that each of these "good" scenes (like Tarzan fighting the leopard or the death of the villain) was what the animators WANTED the whole film to be like, but the Disney executives just wouldn't let them play ball. It is with a head hung low that I say that I would recommend this film to NO ONE.

Watch 'The Jungle Book' instead. Only loosely based on it's source material as well, but infinitely more entertaining, with one memorable scene after another (and GREAT songs)!

The Blob (1988)

Great Remake / Great B-Movie

[9/10 · 20 January 2000]

Very seldom is a remake superior to the original. This wonderful B-Movie is an exception. The original film was destined to be forgotten or remade. Thankfully, Chuck Russell and Frank Darabont (The Green Mile) brought just the right mix of camp, cliche and excitement to their version. The real surprise is just how good it really is.

If you like quality B-Movies, then you'll enjoy this one. It's fun from start to finish, and the effects are great. It's almost like you're watching a John Carpenter film (and I mean that as praise)! Not a classic, but worth a look. Above average for the genre.