indurain Reviews

Hardcore Henry (2015)

A New Genre of Film Making

[10/10 · 1 May 2019]

This is one of the most enjoyable, watchable films I've seen in a long time. It takes about 5 minutes to get used to the FPS perspective, but once you do, just sit back and enjoy the ride. Sharlto Copley is a joy to watch, every character he plays (which is most of them) is spot on. A film like this would never receive any sort of major award nomination but Copley should have won something for his performance.

The references made to the many video games like Mortal Kombat and Call of Duty is a testament to the directors love of that genre. After some of the kills, I honestly kept waiting for a booming voice to call out "Fatality!".

Neighbors (I) (2014)

Ouch

[1/10 · 5 February 2015]

All I can say is thank God for the library. But even a free viewing of this movie can't relate just how bad it is. Even the previews are all direct to DVD films, which gives you an idea of what the studio thinks of it.

There's not much to say that hasn't already been said by other reviewers. All I can say is don't believe the 6.4 rating this film currently has. It's easily one of the worst films I have ever been unfortunate enough to have watched. I chuckled once during one of the air bag scenes, but that was it.

Watch it if you must, but don't say you haven't been warned.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

Believe the One Star Reviews, this film is awful.

[1/10 · 23 May 2014]

AM2 is now on my list of worst films I have ever seen. There is literately nothing remotely funny in the movie. Everything is over the top which I guess the director and writers thought would translate to the audience rolling out of their seats laughing. All is caused me to do was fast forward, especially during every scene with Steve Carrell.

This trash culminates in an all out war between the anchors of GNN, MTV, ESPN, and some others including Harrison Ford's character turning into a werewolf. I simply sat staring at the screen, not really believing what I was seeing. I had a RedBox coupon and this film cost me all of 37 cents, but believe me, it wasn't even worth that. Save your time and your sanity, avoid this film like the plague.

Taken 2 (2012)

Unintentionally Hilarious

[2/10 · 18 March 2014]

I doubt the producers and director set out to create such a stinker of a film, but that's exactly what they did. There are many scenes in this movie that are just laughable. From close calls, to easily escapable rooms, to bad guys who can't shoot better than my 3 year old, to a daughter who's failed her driving test 3 times but magically gains the ability to drive a foreign car with a stick shift with blinding speed through the narrow streets of Istanbul. It goes on and on.

But what really put this film into the toilet were scenes that I call "convenient overlooks". For example, bad guys are after the daughter who is hiding in a closet. Bad guys check one closet door, then start to sloooowwwly open the other door, but then get distracted and stop. Whew that was close! Another: Bad guys use a breakable zip tie to tie Neeson's wrists together, they ever heard of handcuffs? Another: Bad guys leave Neeson alone in a room so he has time to talk to his daughter via a hidden cell phone and plan his escape. Another: Daughter lobs grenades off of a rooftop to the streets below to locate her father, gee I hope no innocent citizens were pulverized!

Oh boy.

Carrie (2013)

Watch out, Carrie can fly!

[3/10 · 18 March 2014]

This is a cluster-duck of a movie. The first hour and fifteen minutes are a waste of time. To summarize: Carrie is an outcast and her mom is a looney; Carrie walks around school like Wodney Wat, scared to look at, much less talk to anyone; After she "becomes a woman", she discovers she has telekinesis and masters this power in oh, about 3 minutes or so.

Once we hit the prom scene, it gets better, but not much. Carrie gets a shower of pig blood, turns into a pig-blooded killer and poor high school students are in the kill zone. Carrie takes on a wide eyed possessed look, much like the character Susan Cabot in "Prince of Darkness". Kids die and Carrie flies. Then Carrie goes after poor Mommy and that doesn't end well for either of them.

Final shot is of Carrie's and Mommy's headstone, which starts to crack open. Will Carrie be back? Let's hope not.

The Warrior's Way (2010)

Familiar Storyline with Awesome Visuals

[8/10 · 29 January 2014]

If you've seen "High Plains Drifter", you know the storyline: man with no name (or in this case one name) rides into a Old West town (this one has a bizarre circus theme complete with a Ferris Wheel), is taken in by the locals, a bad gang and the Warrior's old allies from his homeland invade, the Warrior helps to save the town, but not much of it is left in the end. There's not much else to the storyline, the Warrior has a love interest and a child that he refused to kill in his previous life, but the rest is pretty standard fare.

What pulls "The Warrior's Way" out of a 4 or 5 star rating is the visual effects, and man they are something to behold. Combine bullet time from "The Matix", the blood spatter and slow motion effects from "300", sword action from the "Seven Samurai", and toss in the gun battles from any Sergio Leone western, and you have "The Warrior's Way".

This film has some awesome effects from an old gunslinger pegging falling dynamite sticks with a buffalo gun from the top of a ferris wheel, The Warrior taking out multiple bad guys in "300" slo-mo, to the Sad Flutes dropping into the town one by one on the rooftops like falling dominoes but in reverse, it's all very cool.

The sword fighting is completely over the top but very, very entertaining. I like the fact that The Warrior didn't have much to say, much like Clint in "High Plains Drifter". The rest of the cast does a good job, I didn't buy Kate Bosworth's old west accent, but that's just nitpicking.

All in all this is well worth a couple hours of your time to watch.

Red Dawn (2012)

Just... Awful.

[1/10 · 22 October 2013]

Let's take out the fact that the premise for this movie is way over the top. Sure, I suppose millions of soldiers could drop in *in one day* and take over the U.S., maybe the same way we'll one day have Starships that travel at warp speed. Let's take out the fact that these kids become expert guerrilla fighters in about a few days. Finally, let's also take out the fact that these kids travel into a city that's been taken over by enemy forces, shoot up some bad guys, blow stuff up, trash some cars, and get out with ease. I lost count of how many times that occurred.

What you are left with is a film that is soulless and empty. It's filled with ridiculous inspirational speeches that reminded me of the President's laughable speech to the freedom fighters in "Independence Day". I never once felt connected to the characters and didn't care if they lived or died. It's all just silly and not worth 90 minutes of your time.

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

Not Good but Not Horrible Either

[4/10 · 1 October 2013]

This is a mediocre haunted house/demon possession film. It does have some good jump scares and the ghoul effects are well done. However, it suffers from the same haunted house cliché that many others in this type of genre have succumbed to: once the residents of the house figure out something is really wrong, instead of showing their backside to the house on their way out of town, they stay.

This is no more evident than in this film. They are renting the house, in fact they got the first month free. There's no reason to stay. Strange stuff is going on, the entire family is freaked out, their son with cancer is obviously suffering from a mental breakdown, and their answer is to call some type of exorcist/paranormal investigator to see if he can get rid of the ghosts in a house that's not even theirs. Why even bother?

Sorry but that killed the film for me. Obviously if they did leave, we wouldn't have a movie, but since this is "based on a true story", whoever the people the story is based on must be the biggest idiots in the world.

Evil Dead (2013)

This Is Not Horror

[1/10 · 23 September 2013]

I love horror films. Horror films should be smart, convey a sense of dread, make you care about what happens to the characters, and simply scare the crap out of you. Jaws is a horror film. Alien is a horror film. The Exorcist is a horror film. The Shining is a horror film.

Evil Dead 2013 is not a horror film. It is a splatter fest with blood and body parts everywhere. It is not the least bit scary. We could care less what happens to the characters because they are all idiots. I am not going to compare it to the original because there's simply no point. The original had all the horror devices that this one does not.

Do yourself a favor, pay attention to the one star reviews, this film deserves nothing more than that.

Young Guns (1988)

Not a bad movie until the end

[5/10 · 2 May 2013]

At the end of the movie, Billy and his gang are holed up in the house of their lawyer which is completely surrounded by hundreds of lawmen, bounty hunters, and the U.S Army. Even Doc says "Billy we're good, but this is getting ridiculous.".

After the house is set on fire, Chavez escapes and somehow sneaks right past the men outside. Billy and his gang exit the house guns a blazin' right in front of a Gatling gun the Army has brought which mysteriously is not used. Chavez rides back with 3 horses, rides right through the men outside, jumps the horses over a barricade, and Billy and Doc somehow manage to mount the horses and ride right through the men down the street with not one shot fired.

Then to top it all off, the lawyer emerges from the house and the Army pumps about 100 bullets into him with the same Gatling gun that for some reason they didn't use on Billy and his gang. It gets better, Billy then rides back, stops in the middle of the street, pops a cap into Murphy, and then rides off with no shots fired at him. Of course the gang then just rides off into the sunset, why would the US Army bother to pursue?

This was a ridiculous, unbelievable ending and completely ruined the entire movie.