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Fantastic Four (I) (2005)
4/10
Are These Reviewers Kidding?
20 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I read the glowing reviews for this movie and I have to wonder: Are they kidding? The Fantastic Four is probably the worst of the recent major studio superhero films, greatly inferior to the new Spiderman, X-Men and Batman films. Maybe they are kidding, or maybe they are marketing drones trying to generate artificial word of mouth. Whatever the case, F4 is lame movie.

Although the cast ranges from tolerable (Chris Evans and Jessica Alba) to good (Michael Chilkis), and the FX are okay, the script is, in a word, bad. After the complex story lines and driven characters of recent comic book films, F4 comes off hasty and ill thought. At one point Ben Grimm, a.k.a. "The Thing" leaves a medical clinic high in the Rockies (it sure ain't in the Catskills) and walks, apparently overnight, to Brooklyn (where the audience must endure the line "this here's the only mook from Brooklyn what's gone into space.") Johnny Storm (a.k.a. "The human torch"), after an absurd extreme snow skiing slow-mo montage, is implied to have sexual relations with a gorgeous nurse, even though the same nurse an hour before measured his body temperature as being over 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Wouldn't she, ah, have suffered some serious scalding?

It's the kind of film where any character can be comprehensively summed up with two words ("kindly egghead", "hotshot pilot" or "evil businessman").

Every super hero must oppose a super villain, and the quality of the villainy often determines the story's success or failure. Here in Fantastic Four we have Victor Von Doom, a handsome corporate leader who apparently has political ties to someplace called Latveria even though he went to MIT with Reed Richards and then hired Reed's sweetheart Sue when he became the head of Von Doom Industries which is so successful it has its own space station even though they can't float an IPO and Von Doom's grades weren't so hot. Since all the complexity went into Victor's insane back story, his character is wholly unburdened with it: He's the kind of character that's soap-opera handsome and drinks a cup of hot, steaming evil with breakfast. Villains like Ra's Al Gul or William Stryker do evil because they think they are doing good; Von Doom does evil because it's in the script.

The climactic action set-piece is a major disappointment, leading (of course) to the "it's over but not really over" ending demanded by a mediocre action film like this. The producers of Batman Begins, X-Men and Spiderman hired good writers and good directors before they undertook the mission of bringing beloved comic book heroes to the screen. The result is movies which are both thrilling and compelling, movies where you have something to think about when the action lulls. The mediocre directing and sub-par script of Fantastic Four proves the wisdom of that course. With this film we see the sad result of writers who don't respect the source, and don't bother to make a script worth filming.
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Ready for Tom Servo...
15 February 2003
The movie gets off to a good enough start, with Price's character waking for a "typical" day as the last man on earth: He marks off another day on his handwritten calendar, checks the generators which supply his hideout with light and power, drags away the vampire bodies which appeared overnight. But once the film drops into flashback mode all bets are off: The rest of the cast is God-awful, the script is deliriously bad, and the movie declines into a hoot-fest. This is the kind of picture that needs Tom Servo and Crow to serve up the zingers.

While Price acquits himself well enough in this film, over all this is an extremely weak production. There are a few atmospheric moments worth seeing -- the pit where the vampire-zombie bodies are incinerated is creepy -- but mainly this is a poor script filmed for cheaply a few thousand lire in Italy. If you like lines like "the best brains are running through this thing with a fine tooth comb!" you might enjoy watching for the laugh value. Romero's "Dead" movies and "The Omega Man" are far better examples of the genre.
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9/10
Kooky, spooky, delirious, delicious and devilish.
4 September 2002
This is a film that works on many levels. It's a great movie about movie-making, telling you all you wanted to know about silent filmmaking in the Weimar Republic. It's a bleak and black comedy, laugh-out-loud funny in places. It has its moments as a genuinely spooky horror film. It's a movie about addictions -- parading through the picture are alcoholics, morphine addicts, laudanum addicts, all surrounding the greatest addiction of them all: A vampire's addiction to blood. It's a movie about obsessions, and how they make us inhuman in our desires. Lastly, it has great performances and, filmed in Luxembourg, looks fabulous. Highly recommended.
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It exists only to crack you up.
12 September 2000
This movie has one point: To cram as many gags about a couple of hopeless idiots into it's run time as possible. The jokes are low-brow and tasteless (it manages to squeeze in not one, but two urination sight gags) and the story is a bit of flimsy about a kidnaping gone awry.

The only thing that could redeem such an offensive picture is if it was funny. Thankfully, all us low-brow fans can sit back and laugh, because Dumb and Dumber is hysterical. It's not for everyone -- this is no Kind Hearts and Coronets -- but if you like a good laxative joke (and who doesn't?), Dumb and Dumber delivers.

Jim Carrey is Lloyd Christmas, a limo driver who tries to pick up girls by climbing into the backseat at stop signs and pretending to be the passenger. His pal is Harry (Jeff Daniels), a dog groomer who spent his life savings converting his van into a furry pooch. When they both get fired the same day, they decide to drive the pooch west from Rhode Island to Colorado (never mind why).

What comes next are a couple thousand miles of jokes about pee-pee, poo-poo, varieties of phlegm, ulcers, rat poison, vicious assault, hideous fashion and the decimation of 1/7th of an endangered species by champagne cork.

Nonetheless for all their stupid, tasteless crudeness (and the movie never lets up) there is a sweet spirit at the core. Lloyd leaves Providence for love; Harry comes along for friendship and loyalty. A more cynical script would have sunk the story, but the optimism and good vibes that propel these two across the country keep things and a fun level.
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My Blue Heaven (I) (1990)
A modest comedy with a sweet spirit and some good laughs.
9 September 2000
In My Blue Heaven Steve Martin is as funny as he ever got. He plays, of all things, a 'dese-dem-dose' mobster named Vinnie Antonelli who drops a dime on his crime family and enters the federal witness protection program. The feds move him to a white-bread suburb of San Diego, where Vinnie mows the lawn in his sharkskin suit. To keep Vinnie out of trouble until he can testify, the FBI assigns agent Barney Coopersmith (Rick Moranis) to ride herd on him.

The main pleasure of the movie is Martin's characterization of the wily, mousse-haired Vinnie, an over-the-top comic performance that feels unlikely but somehow always works. A romantic subplot between Rick Moranis and Joan Cusack is surprisingly affecting. You could do worse spending 90 minutes than by watching this movie.
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A modest but charming romantic comedy
23 March 2000
This film doesn't try and break any new ground: It just wants to make a little romantic comedy with some likeable main characters, some amusing supporting roles and a few good laughs. I think it's charming. A little flimsy, but sweet. Worth a watch when it turns up again on cable.
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The Daily Show (1996– )
Hardest working comedy show on TV
12 November 1999
"The Daily Show" doesn't bat a thousand, but it does deliver more good gags per week than any other source on television. It's a reliable source of sharp-edged, well written topical comedy. It's one of the rare half hours that seem to trim material to fit into it's 30 minute slot, rather than padding the run time.

John Stewart is highly likable, and gets along swimmingly with his four minute plug-fest celebrity interviews. The faux news reportage is often spot on -- a recent story eviscerated the knuckle-draggers trying to pull "Harry Potter" books from school. The correspondents' report is sometimes hysterically funny. Weekly contributors add even more variety, particularly John "Joe Bob Briggs" Bloom's weekly spotlight on religious broadcasting, "God Stuff."

If you are sick of the smug sameness of late night monologues, check The Daily Show for a better dose of TV comedy.
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