teuthis Reviews

The Fog (2005)

It Really Isn't That Bad!

[6 August 2006]

The 2005 version of "The Fog" is no classic, but it is not the total dump that everyone is claiming. I perceive it as no more flawed than any of the modern "horror" genre. In fact, I found it to be overall, eerie, poignant, haunting and visually effective.

The cast all performed very well; no weak links. The production values were excellent. It was updated to current culture, and aimed at a youth market. I enjoyed the original "The Fog", and I thought this version traveled well with time.

The director made a concerted attempt to create a haunting atmosphere in the film, and I believe he succeeded overall. There were good moments of fright, even if the development of the story was somewhat uneven. I thought that the focus of the tale on the tormented Elizabeth Williams was clever. It anchored the otherwise naturally- rambling story line. The actress carried the part exceedingly well. I was much impressed. There were other excellent and eerie visual efforts that worked too. I would have liked more immediately visible "ghosts", but cannot argue with the overall effect.

As to what some were commenting on about the actors being too beautiful and "consistent"; the leading women in Hollywood have always been beautiful. The difference is that in recent times, women have found their métier in physical fitness. Female stars of yore had uniformly lovely faces, but their figures often did not match so well. I think the faces are still beautiful, but fitness endows one and all with a similarity of form. I thought each of the principle actresses in the film had unique looks, and excellent acting abilities. I had no trouble at all telling them apart.

One element of many modern films is the similarity of wardrobe. Ours is now a casual culture, and in films everyone seems to dress alike. I think this mistake, more than any other, is the principle cause of a seeming similarity of actors. In the past, actors were given distinct "looks" with wardrobe. Today that important point is often neglected.

When viewing any remake, I think it is important to not sit back and compare it scene for scene with the original, having a predetermined negative bias. Let the film stand on its own. Sure, there have been some pretty awful remakes in the past few years. But I have seen much worse films than "The Fog" in the genre praised highly on IMDb. This one is not bad at all. It is certainly worth a look if you are a fan.

King Cobra (1999 Video)

Rattler in the Hood?

[2/10 · 11 March 2006]

Snake movies are the worst. And this one is the equal of any. A King Cobra/Rattlesnake hybrid has escaped from a lab wrecked by two of the most insane scientists in film history. The scene was brief, but possibly the most entertaining in the film. The monstrous mutation has claimed a small, rural town as its territory. Of course they are about to have a festival a beer fest no less! And will the Mayor cancel the festival because a couple of people are killed? What do you think?

The acting in King Cobra is remedial at best. Even Pat Morita cannot make is role entertaining. The stoic Casey Fallo was a pretty good reason to keep viewing. She was nice to watch in what little she was given to do. Everyone else was just not in attendance.

Perhaps the major problem for me in the film is that a snake was able to outsmart one-and-all homo sapiens throughout most of the film. And the two ton beast seemingly appeared and disappeared with all the velocity of a mako shark. He wafted through the delicate branches of trees with the grace of a ninety pound ballerina. A trained deputy is cornered against a tree by the rampaging reptile, and she panics, seemingly forgets she has a pistol in her hand, and screams for the hero; who drop-kicks the lightnening-fast saurian without even getting bitten.

One must always suspend belief to some extent in order to enjoy a monster film. However, the director created such a "super snake", and such inept humans, that King Cobra far surpassed my ability to stretch reality.This mess eventually became boring and predictable. That is the only real sin a monster film can commit. And it is terminal in King Cobra.

But it just might be that the worst faux pas of this film was the beer recipe recited by the supposed artisan brewer. If you are able to muster the gumption to watch this snake calamity, listen carefully for it. This "master brewer" is concocting a classic American mass-produced, tasteless near beer; not a sapid, artisan brew. After all, snakes are a dime a dozen, but a really good beer is sacred.

I cannot recommend this film, unless one is in traction and cannot reach the remote. However, perhaps enough good beer could make it tolerable?

Caved In (2006 TV Movie)

Hey, This one is pretty good!

[8/10 · 15 January 2006]

Those Sci Fi channel monster pictures are usually just not very good. They follow some iterative formula that seems to never really excel. Remember, they did all those awful snake movies. But this bug adventure is a winner. It has some dimension, but still focuses on the monsters that try to reinvent the food chain with people invading their underground territory. This is finally "man versus nature" that the Sci Fi folks should have been doing all along; although for me, the biggest attraction was those beautiful women, all of whom can really act too. I fell in love three times during the film; all at once.

This film has some pretty good monster bugs; an extensive, dangerous cavern; a hidden trove of gemstones worth risking life and limb to obtain; a truly insane and determined villain; a redoubtable hero; and an utterly hilarious, air-head, blonde daughter, who is just to love! Can you ask for more? Yes you can; Monica Barladeanu. And she's right there in the cave with you.

Of course the plot wanders into the arena of the ridiculous; of course the bugs are basically without personality. Those are Sci Fi channel trademarks. But the adventure of it all; the dimension gained in splitting the family into different perils and paths; the deadly struggle in the caverns; seeking the gems at all cost; and trying to escape the hordes of monster beetles; all works for me. I think it is pretty good, classic, low budget science fiction that we all know and love! It is certainly a people-chomping, bug-crunching, beauty-ogling good time for one and all.

The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956)

What A Great Idea!

[10/10 · 15 January 2006]

Mix Guy Madison, at the peak of his popularity, a genuine western with a great villain, a fair-to-middling fight, a cattle stampede, a comely heroine torn between love and obligation, an unintentionally obnoxious little Mexican boy, a mysterious, deadly creature lurking in a vast- well maybe- swamp, and you have a terrific science fiction oater that for some reason seems irresistible for me. I remember this film from childhood, and it has been so rare over the years. I cannot even find it on DVD. It is appearing on cable now and I do not miss an opportunity to watch.

As low budget as the film was, I think the monster moves quite well; especially when it is running. And I love that tongue! Once the beast appears, the film ramps up the action and never stops until the end.

This is somehow a spellbinding film. Go figure! You can laugh at its low budget antics, you can enjoy the romance, you can hiss at the villain, or just enjoy the monster. This film is really entertaining; a tribute to the attracting power that Guy Madison always had on film. Get yourself a good beer, some gummy dinosaurs, lean back and have fun!

Alien Hunter (2003)

Pretty Good Science Fiction

[8/10 · 14 January 2006]

I thoroughly enjoyed "Alien Hunter". I didn't ponder whether it was drawing upon other films, or harshly criticize the actors. I simply enjoyed the plot and people and the entertainment it provided. I thought the cast all did a fine job. It's pretty good science fiction! I do wish the producers had found a more meaningful name for it.

The premise of the film had an element of originality that made it gripping and entertaining. The finale was a complete surprise to me. I had envisioned quite another resolution.

The director sets an overall somber, brooding tone with the consistently drab surroundings of the Antarctic lab. The plot develops well, and holds interest. There were very few slow spots, and those could have been my own perception. I liked the characters, and flowed right along with them. I would recommend this film to any science fiction fan. The beautiful girl in the white bikini, wading into a cornfield in an Antarctic lab, was irresistible. Just the right touch.

The film is thoughtful and poignant, with elements of intellectual science fiction that made viewing it fascinating for me. Its the kind of film that one can just lean back with, and imagine being right there with the cast, living it all with them.

Blade: Trinity (2004)

Blade with Some Real Dimension!

[8/10 · 13 December 2005]

This version of the Blade series is my favorite. In my personal opinion, it has a dimension of humor and character development that I felt was lacking in the others; which I did enjoy by the way. Parker Posey and Ryan Renolds are absolutely hilarious, and imparted a lightness to the otherwise brutal and predictable action. Renold's character, for all his adventurous intentions, is basically comic relief; and most entertaining. While Blade and Abigail are out fighting dozens of vampires, he ends up confronting the vampire Pomeranian and its friends. That is inspired humor, and worth the entire film for me. Renolds is a pleasant and unexpected character in this third Blade outing. And Parker Posy is flawless. It is not often of late that I am entertained so much in a film.

Jessica Biel brought a level of earthy sensuality to the story that, in my opinion, no one else can. They did not give her much to say; but she can do a lot with a few words. Her intense beauty is another dimension that I love. And for me, she has an ability in physical acting that is second to none. Her fight scenes are thrilling. Her facial expressions and acting skills overall, are for me compelling. She is an actress who will get me to a film just because she is in it.

I thought Dominic Purcell did an excellent job. He also had little to say, but he gave a powerful performance. I also enjoyed the brief performance by Erica Cerra, Blake's victim in the vampire store. I hope to see more of her.

It is true that Wesley Snipes did not have quite enough to do in the film, in relation to the other two. But it is possible that without the added dimensions, this film probably would not have been made. He carried his role with his usual skills, and anchored the film as only he could. I am a long-time fan of his films. I have seen Blade Trinity several times, and I do not tire of its characters, action and dialog. If you like action and "monster" films, I recommend it.

As always however, I must protest the incredible amount of foul language in the film. It is the one great flaws in it for me. When will directors learn that real words can carry much more meaning and impact than constantly repeated obscenities? There is certainly room in a film for some ribald expression without soaking the script in a constant flow of four letter words. Blade Trinity could have well stood on its own without them!

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

One of the Worst!

[1/10 · 13 December 2005]

This remake is one of the worst constructed and tasteless films I have ever seen. In my mind it is a big budget, but flat, and truly "D" movie made by a director with no understanding of the poetic construction of a film. One of the attractions of John Carpenter's films is the focus on the principle characters, while the antagonists are "phantoms"; undeveloped and mysterious entities, there for the execution of the plot and action. That concept is at the heart of the action and resolution of all his films.

This director chose to bring the phantoms out into the light, and make them police officers, no less. He broke the spell of a tight-knit, diverse group, at odds with each other, cooperating to survive against virtual monsters. He also made the violence wrought upon these human characters of the film, so graphic and gratuitous that it pained me to watch it. Just because police officers have become corrupt, does not make them into the mindless, and thus expendable creatures of Carpenter's excellent films. The idea that so many police officers would be so corrupt so as to deliberately murder fellow officers, is patently ridiculous.

There were so many unrelated psychoses in the plot, that the characters lost their distinct personalities in this predictable muddle. I found the resolution to the film so diffuse, and the sudden scene change so abrupt and confusing, that I was still wondering how they got there when it all ended; predictably.

One must wonder how someone who has surely studied film in all its facets, can create such an ugly mistake. It took me two tries to make it through this mess. This film is certainly not going to become a classic. Watching it made me appreciate that low budget but sterling Carpenter Classic that I recommend any day over this inept drivel. Do yourself a favor. Avoid this one at all cost.

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

A Rare Monster Adventure Film

[8/10 · 31 July 2005]

I found this film to have more than a modicum of imagination, wit and intelligence. Such is rare in the "monster" genre; and these elements make the film compelling and entertaining for me. I really like it. Anacondas is a fun, disastrous adventure from start to finish.

The characters are well defined and engaging. They mesh skillfully within the plot as it develops. The actors one and all, did an excellent job. The theme is really an adventure, beset with conflicts between the characters as to whether to keep pursuing their original goal,after a disastrous boat trip up river, or run for their lives from the marauding giant snakes. The premise of the monomaniacal "bad guy/dedicated but greedy scientist", is crafted carefully as the film progresses and has a sense of reality to it.

The camera work is excellent, and the action scenes far surpass the standard "shaky camera" efforts of so many major films today. They use quick cut techniques, and make things such as the battle with the crocodile, look realistic. Even the snakes are better behaved than in the spate of snake films that have been made in the past. They are not super snakes overall; just big ones. They look, and act, much more realistic than in any snake film I have seen.

Now "Anacondas" is still a monster picture. So one must suspend a certain amount of reality, and accept the idea that anacondas live in Indonesia; such immense reptiles can weigh perhaps two tons and still slither among the tree branches; and a few other standard items indigenous to monster flicks. It works for me.

In my opinion, the film has adventure to make it exciting, an excellent cast, a terrific monkey, great scenery, and photography that takes advantage of it; suspense, action, all interlaced with occasional tongue-in-cheek humor. Now that's entertainment! I love to just sit back and ride along with it all the way. And I must disagree with those people who complain about the blonde. KaDee is terrific! She and the monkey are my favorites from an outstanding cast.

Mansquito (2005 TV Movie)

Anopheles Abomination!

[12 March 2005]

What a mess! And a boring mess at that. I am watching Mansquito now. I have no fear of including spoilers because I am probably not going to keep watching. The production values are okay, the acting overall is sturdy enough, but there is just too much wrong; and it is indeed boring. It is one of those films that feels longer than it is. The plot breaks out of the current, dull-witted, science fiction film formula slightly; but it does not generate real excitement, or any sense of identity with the characters. They are merely cardboard cutouts bouncing bullets off a beefy bug.

First, the Mansquito is a male; armor-plated, and he only has four legs. There is a woman "becoming" a "Womansquito"?, "Babesquito"? but the male steals the show here. Even stretching a point, most people, except the director, know quite well that the male of the mosquito does not feed on blood. I just cannot get past that. It should have been a "Womansquito" for sure. Then I would have been properly terrified.

The film also relies too heavily upon the Mansquito's killing spree, and the carnage he leaves in his wake; too many bodies sacrificed with too great an ease. There is just too much violence upon human 'skeeter fodder, and too little atmosphere, for my sensibilities. I have ended up not caring what happens in this muddled moulting of a movie. I believe that buried somewhere in the director's vision for the film is the aborted concept of a Greek tragedy. But it never quite breaks the surface tension to create the bathos that such drama should. So if you choose to watch this agony, break out the Deet and some good beer.

Skeeter (1993)

In The Mold Of The Classics

[7 September 2004]

"Skeeter" is a passing fair critter-condundrum movie. I like it. It is merely another basic entry in the long-lived monster genre originating in the 1950's; and I'm a fan. You cannot go into one of these films with expectations of high drama, magnificent special effects, and flawless plot lines. You go to see the monsters run amok and the films' characters, in more ways than one, attempt to stem the tide of nature on a rampage. As to the special effects, if you are a fan, after the initial shock and laughter, your brain accommodates; and the mosquitoes, or squids, or bats, or whatever, take on a surrealistic and entertaining quality.

One improvement we do get with these newer entries is generally better acting than in the past. The directing hasn't changed much over the years; it is still marginal at best. But more good actors are available now. They are eager for work and generally do an excellent job with marginal scripts, formula plots, and overwhelmed directors. The cast of "Skeeter" is quite compelling and the characters are believable for the most part. The plot drags a little as the director attempts to create some reason to watch the film other than to see giant mosquitoes run rampant. These new directors have forgotten that there is no other reason. But I think "Skeeter" is fun and, worth some good escapism time. Be sure, in the early part of the film, to try and figure out what the "dead cow" really is. I personally think it's an army surplus blanket. My recommendation is to see "Skeeter" with a friend, have a crossword handy, and then you'll have three interesting things to do. One of them should work out. It just might be "Skeeter"!

The Order (2003)

Pretty Good Horror

[15 July 2004]

I must disagree with many of the reviewers on this film. I consider The Order to be a mature, well-constructed horror story. The "horror" is subtle at first, but it builds, along with the suspense, into several, intense episodes that culminate the film decisively. It is a complex flux of development, change and ever-increasing intensity of suspense and anxiety. As with any horror film, indeed almost any film, one must become immersed in the culture and story that is created. One must assume certain elements of the film to be valid, then flow with the plot. The Order fills all of the requirements of a good horror tale, done smoothly and skillfully. The characters and the actors portraying them fit well into the development of it all. I was most impressed with the lead actress. Her portrayal was stunningly sympathetic. And I really loved the ending. It melded all of the elements of the film together in a satisfying conclusion. This film creates a sense of doom and inevitability that constantly grows with its progression. That is what drew me to keep watching. I am not generally a fan of "Religious" horror. I shall gladly make an exception for The Order.

Fangs (2002)

It's Not So Bad!

[26 May 2004]

I've seen "Fangs" several times and I have always enjoyed it. It is just a classic monster picture. So one should not expect too much from it except some good, old-fashioned monsters, in the form of bats; and some campy acting by a capable cast that tries its darnedest. Considering the genre and it's history, one is either going to love these thrifty, chimerical adventures; or not. If you're a real fan of monster movies, then I think "Fangs" satisfies quite well.

"Fangs" has bat attacks; a really slimy bad guy; a cute, determined heroine; some comical teens; and even a half-effective hero. The story moves right along, and even though one pretty much knows what is going to happen, the ride is fun, and the bats are suitably scary. I say just watch it for what it is and enjoy the old monster formula worked to a tee. It's great fun.

Paperhouse (1988)

Captivating Film

[26 May 2004]

Paperhouse presents an intensely entertaining fantasy/horror story of a young school girl ,Ana, enduring an illness, and experiencing a compelling fantasy that occurs when she is in the throes of the fevers brought on by her malady. She draws a house on paper, inhabited by a boy, who is also ill, and events occur in her febrile dreams which she tries to control with subsequent drawings. We get a rich and detailed insight into the girl's character as she tries to cope with two worlds in which she has serious problems to resolve. I really enjoyed Paperhouse from start to finish.

The film moves quickly and maintains an intense sense of adventure, and even some level of horror, that erupts every time Ana lapses into her dreams. I would say that the only real flaw in it is that the director seemed not to know just how to end it all. I would have preferred a tighter resolution. Still Paperhouse is well worthwhile.

The little actress who starred, did an excellent job. I understand this was her only film; one of those ironies of filmdom that is difficult to understand. She was really good. I wish this film would be released on DVD in the USA. I managed to tape it from cable but I would love to have it on DVD. I recommend that you watch Paperhouse if you see it playing.

Mosquito (1994)

It Tries Hard!

[23 May 2004]

Mosquito is a film in the proud, and wonderfully flawed, tradition of the classic low-budget monster genre that I love so much. The acting is marginal, the direction is ragged and the special effects are cheap. But it has an interesting cast of characters; and it is organized enough to keep viewers intrigued. The premise of mosquitoes becoming a giant strain after feeding upon a dead alien is inventive. The plot works its way to a slow but climactic resolution. The giant bugs are effective but also humorous, as they should be in a monster classic. The adventure of it works too. I think that is why I will often watch it if I see it on cable. It is good escapism. If you like monster films of the classic kind, you can probably find some reason to enjoy Mosquito. And Mosquito can take on a new level of entertainment if you watch it with someone who can laugh along with you.

Mercy (2000)

Wow!

[15 September 2003]

The erotic ambiance of this film is overwhelming. The plot is sexually charged despite the fact that there is no overt sex depicted in the film. The nudity that is shown seems more for function than exploitation. Peta Wilson's performance is incredibly compelling and sensual. "Mercy" is worth seeing for her presentation alone. Add the somber mood of the film, the secret femme culture of rough sex that is explored, Ellen Barkin as a troubled detective, and what could have been merely an "B" Movie cop thriller becomes a special film that held me rapt from start to finish.

Female protagonists dominate "Mercy". I think that is one of the key factors that make it so entertaining. It makes no apologies its depiction of its women being independent and living their own, albeit secret, lives. One learns gradually of this subculture as the erotic Vicki Kittrie reluctantly guides Detective Catherie Palmer through this dark, ethereal world in search of a killer. This is really a film worth enjoying. The acting is superb from one and all. The plot moves along with constant suspense, and the climax is gritty and real, yet stunning in its poignance. And that aura of the sensually erotic simply pervades every scene. I highly recommend "Mercy".

Python 2 (2002 Video)

Why Snakes?

[13 September 2003]

Someone with Science Fiction clout, but no talent, in TV programming has decided that giant snakes, among the slowest creatures on earth, make frightening movie monsters. Well they don't. I dearly love monster movies, but these snake pictures are simply useless. This one follows the really awful, 'en vogue formula to the hilt, and straight down the slithery slope of utter ennui. In my estimation these "lighter than air, faster than greased pigs" reptiles are utterly without any redeeming "monster" qualities.

The snakes are almost incidental to the film. They are so badly portrayed as to have no personality, and absolutely no sense of dread about them. They are mechanical vehicles of the plot, which is terminally boring from the first scene. The only character I even cared about was the beautiful Russian redhead, and that's just because she is so gorgeous to watch. It seems that the director just didn't know how to portray people with any sense of timing or reality. The characters, and the acting, quickly fell apart under vague and vapid direction. The plot was never in attendance.

The film seemed to drag on forever as inept warriors pointed their fancy guns into dark corners, and blasted away at cartoon snakes to no discernable avail. The snakes moved much faster than the action. I felt that the director was simply trying to figure out how to prolong this mess long enough to eke out the requisite 90 minutes, sans commercials. It didn't work. Avoid this mess unless you are addicted to lovely redheads.

Gargantua (1998 TV Movie)

It's a Kid's Film!

[13 September 2003]

Gargantua really isn't a bad film at all, once you understand that it is really designed for kids. It doesn't follow the standard rampaging monster picture formula; and it is definitely not an old fashioned "D" monster movie. It is an adventurous morality tale with modern ecological elements for kids, and the young at heart, to enjoy.

The monsters are not vicious; they are merely trying to protect themselves as a family. There is a clear parallel between them and the young boy who has lost is mother and clings so desperately to his father, the scientist in the times of danger. A good monster picture always has a scientist to explain the obvious to us. This one has a science hero who is a conservationist, determined to save the monsters if possible. The film has many elements with which children will quickly identify. It is really produced on that plane. I love a good monster flick of any kind and I can appreciate Gargantua on the level.

The production values of Gargantua are quite good. The camera work and the sea-going adventure scenes are quiet well done. The acting is superior and the plot is cohesive. Let the film thrill the kids and realize that it's not really made for jaded, overly-critical adults. It sure beats the pants off of the spate of formula snake movies and genetic mutation muddles I've seen of late. Let the kids have their fun with Gargantua, and go pick on "Boa", or Pythons 2, quagmires truly worthy of disdain.

Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967)

It's A Sickness!

[6/10 · 4 September 2003]

I almost always watch this ridiculous muddle when it comes on cable television! I cannot fathom why. It's a sickness I guess; because there has never been a monster picture in which I wanted to see the monster win more than in Yongary! Perhaps I'm hoping for a directors cut with an alternate ending?

An atomic blast, how au currant, releases the hapless Yongary from some deep ocean tomb, and he rises to wreak monster havoc on Korea. Of course the all the scientific forces of the orient are thrown against him in a battle for survival of the fittest.

SPOILER ALERT!!! As If? The monster doesn't win! What a surprise. He defeats the finest scientific minds of Korea, but falls prey to an obnoxious eight year old kid. Then the entire cast spends the last five minutes of the film gloating, boasting and congratulating themselves after having killed the poor beast with what seemed to be itching powder. Go figure!

I confess, Yongary is not any worse than the Japanese monster films where a plump stunt man is waddling about in a rubber monster suit stomping on doll houses. I actually kind of like those things. I guess it's the human cast that makes me side with the monster this time. I keep hoping for a sequel entitled "Yongary Conquers Korea!" The monster does have fun swatting airplanes and squashing much of the financial and cultural infrastructure of Korea; and he's entertaining to a monster aficionado, in a rubbery sort of way. But in the end, Yongary is just another predictable formula entry in the "Giant Monster versus All Asia" genre. So why can't I resist it? Give it a look, and let me know!

A.P.E.X. (1994)

Good Science Fiction

[13 August 2003]

I really like the premise of the film; time travel; time continuum violation; a scientist trapped in a violent world. His wife in his own world, is now,in his new world, a tough soldier, stricken with a fatal virus; and she doesn't even like him. He is trying desperately to repair the damage to time, and return the world from that of a violent war zone, beset by robots trying to exterminate all human life, to his own advanced and sophisticated culture. The idea, and the low budget presentation, are intriguing.

I do not believe that every science fiction film can or will have a huge budget and expensive special effects. I enjoyed the actors, the acting and the adventure. I was able to immerse myself in the characters and flow right through the film with them. A.P.E.X has a strong plot, excellent continuity, good science, adventure, suspense and lots of excitement. The director did an excellent job of creating a world on the verge of extinction, hanging onto its humanity by slender threads.

The only elements I did not care for at all, were the extremely foul language that pervaded the entire film; and the degrading stereotyping of the black soldier. He was a good actor, and had a lot more to offer than that of a modern day ghetto brute. His character could have been rough and crude without being completely obscene. All they had to do was leave out all the bad language. The actor did a fine job with his role anyway. I enjoyed his rendition of his character.

I often think that some day, in a more enlightened cultural time frame, we are going to be completely ashamed of the foul language that currently pervades and debases even our finest films. There will possibly be an effort to clean up the old films, and a debate will rage as to whether this is akin to colorization, and destroys the artistic intent of the films. Let us hope.

At any rate, A.P.E.X. is an enjoyable science fiction experience, even with the obscenities intact. I recommend it for mature science fiction fans.

Night Trap (1993)

Good escapism; but in slow motion!

[5/10 · 26 June 2003]

It's just slow. There was so little to the plot that the director had to stretch out each scene until even the action seemed slow motion. The camera work as noticeably stiff and fixed in many scenes. The acting by the main protagonists was uninspired, but consistent.

The concept of whether Michael Ironside's character is the devil, or merely one of his overconfident myrmidons, is vague at best; as are his motives. But then one seems not to actually require motives in a horror film. It isn't something I fret about.

Still, Night Trap has some qualities to recommend it. Robert Davi, stone-faced, and purposeful, is interesting to watch as a cop who is just not quite the classic loner/rebel. John Amos is there too, but his performance is much too understated. I kept watching for him to fall asleep. Michael Ironside is more or less wasted in his part. He just struts around most of the time, and occasionally makes some threat or pejorative pronouncement in a stentorian and rather flat basso voice. The supporting cast did a good job though; and their characters were engaging. Everyone comes together to work out the meagre plot in a way that makes the film at least good escapism; and weak but reasonable horror. I'll often watch it if I see it come on cable. It's one of those "guy" films for when you just want to lean back in the recliner and escape for a while; and perhaps take a nap or two. If only it moved a little faster.

Solar Crisis (1990)

When Good Sci Fi Goes Bad

[10 May 2003]

Well, Solar Crisis really isn't all that bad. It has the look and feel of an "A" movie that didn't quite make it. It's also a little too long for what it has to offer. Ninety minutes as opposed to one hundred fifteen minutes would have given it more movement, and impact. Yet whenever we get the opportunity to see Charlton Heston, Jack Palance, and Peter Boyle in the same film, there is going to be some fun. I like the premise of the film, and much of its execution. Though it never comes together in a compelling package, it is definitely a film that a Sci Fi fan should see at least once. I think the climax is moving, and very well done.

There is a healthy dose of Japanese mindset behind the scenes, that seems to create some differences of perception of what works in science fiction. The Japanese have an intriguing cultural perception of reality, and I love many of their films. But that sagacity does not seem to extend fully into "space" films. I don't think they have never quite exceeded their heritage of gimmicky, "comic book" science fiction movies.

Solar Crisis has excellent actors, sustained suspense,lots of drama, and reasonable action. But it tries to be too much, too broad, and just never quite reaches its goal.

Lawman (1971)

A True Classic

[7 May 2003]

This is perhaps the best of those enigmatic Michael Winner productions that focus the plot on the emotions and personalities of the protagonists of the film. I love Michael Winner productions. They are never shot in a studio; and his realism is virtually unapproachable by any other director of the time.

Lawman is a story of pride,arrogance and people fixed into paths of life which they cannot change. Burt Lancaster is sterling representing "The Law"; a force that cannot be swayed. He desires, or thinks he desires, to be something else, but he is indeed the law, and cannot escape his fate. The characters of the town, the men he comes to arrest for a killing, all follow their own ordained paths. Because not one of them can, or will, bend or accept the events that are occurring, they all converge on the final climax that is one of the greatest statements of human futility that I have ever seen in a film. The climax of this story is fantastic, and almost totally unexpected. No one should spoil it for you, even a little.

There are a number of truly great character actors in this film, and each gives a flawless performance. In True Michael Winner form, the action is stunning and the violence is portrayed with all the realism that shows how awful and devastating it can be. This is a gritty, but deep story that holds one in its grasp without pause. I highly recommend it.

Unfortunately, Lawman is a rare film; almost never broadcast. If you are fortunate enough to find a copy for rent,or purchase, do so with all haste. It's a Winner!

Raptor (2001 Video)

A Long Tradition

[4 May 2003]

Raptor is simply a scion of 1950's cheap monster pictures. It's fun. The cast does a fair job. There are two real beauties in it. Who wouldn't want to ogle Melissa Brasselle and Lorissa McComas? The special effects are laughable, but isn't that all part of the heritage that we enjoy?

I think people expect too much from D movies these days. [Shades of "Horror of Party Beach"!] A cheap, low-budget picture is still what it was. If you enjoy the ambience of penurious production values, a Swiss cheese plot, stunning beauties, and the amateruish action scenes; then you have succeeded in comprehending the "Zen" of Raptor. I always watch it when it comes on cable. One of my favorite parts is when Lorissa McComas comes out of her coma [more shades- of "Them"] and starts ranting about the "big lizard". And the competing special ops squads are a riot. Where did they dredge up those uniforms? Remember when they just went to army surplus?

It's just a fun, cheap movie; and anyone who loves monster pictures should enjoy it at some level. Give it a try!

Spiral (2000)

Intriguing Horror

[8 April 2003]

Uzumaki is an entertaining film for any horror fan. True, cultural differences between Japanese and American perceptions create some difficulty in fully appreciating the horror aspects. I found some of the film slightly funny instead of scary; but it is captivating nevertheless. I believe that if I were to view more films of the genre I could fully appreciate the intent of this film, because it is skillfully done. There are subtleties that I perceived, but that did not fully impact me. I hope to see the film again soon. One reviewer lamented the want of a DVD that we can all play on our equipment. I must concur that it's a shame, because this is a film I would love to own.

The little lead actress is compelling and quite adept. Her delicate and minute facial expressions mirror her dialogue well, and this comes across even with the subtitles. I think her performance is what kept me intrigued with the film long enough to really get into it and keep watching. I recommend that if you are a horror fan, and see this film playing, take the time to see and enjoy it.

The Atomic Submarine (1959)

One of the Sci Fi Mill Classics

[9 March 2003]

"Atomic Submarine" has two things to recommend it to viewers. It is adventure, with all sorts of dangerous situations, and a desperate battle against an undersea alien. And, it is unintentionally funny. Not hilarious mind you; but certainly funny enough for a few laughs as you enjoy its clumsy attempts at plot, acting and logic. Still, I like it, and I always watch it if it comes on cable. Its the adventure I guess. I get caught up in the idea of the powerful submarine; the crew at odds with each other; the "science-on-the-fly" they use to fight the monster. Its fun overall. I would venture to say that it is one of the classics of the 50's-60's low budget sci fi era.

This film is also notable for a brief appearance by Joi Lansing; the last, and prettiest, of the Hollywood "blonde bombshells". It's certainly worth watching if you're a guy, and a sci-fi fan. With a little imagination, "Atomic Submarine" is entertaining escapism.