Chris Beilby Reviews

Wild Wild West (1999)

What a sad waste...

[20 February 2002]

Back in the 60s, The Wild, Wild West, staring Robert Conrad and Russ Martin was one of the best shows of it's time, a interesting mixture of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Gadget Spy films, and light hearted satire. A favorite of mine, I've long enjoyed the show. So naturally, I was looking forward to the big screen adaption, even though it did star Will Smith (Sorry, Will, but you're no Robert Conrad.)

The movie had all the ingredients needed to make a good film: An excellent cast (Kevin Klein, Ken Branaugh, Selma Hayek, even Smith,) an excellent, proven director in Barry Sonnefeld, and a proven genre... Rather, it had all the ingredients that it needed except one... It had the worst script possible.

I've always been wary of any project that was written by committee, and this film is one project that proves why. The excellent cast, crew, and effects of this film were wasted on one of the worst screenplays I've ever seen. The clever (if pulp inspired) stories of the original series are replaced by tepid attempts at comedy which even Smith, who normally is very funny, can't pull off. Kenneth Branaugh succeeds at nothing other than managing to eat the scenery, unable to do anything else, since his lines are so bad. Klein is saddled with the role of Smith's straight man, something that he's just too damn funny to be. As for the effects, like I said, they were spectacular, but the problem is that they seem to be the 'be all and end all' of the movie, instead of working for the story (such as there was in this case.) The simple fact is that they overpower the film.

I guess, if you are a die hard Will Smith fan who has never seen the original series, you might like this one. But for fans of the old series, avoid it, and watch reruns, or else one of the two other shows in the genre, 'Legend' or 'The Adventures of Brisco County Junior.'

The Black Cauldron (1985)

I wanted to like it. I really did...

[10 October 2001]

For years before I saw this film, I had been a fan of Lloyd Alexander's books. To me, The Chronicles of Preydain rank alongside Tolkien's Middle Earth and Lewis' Narnia as one of the greatest fantasy worlds of all time. Based deeply in Welsh legend and Mythology (many elements come directly from The Mabinogion, almost the bible of Welsh mythology) Preydain is easily one of the deepest, and most developed worlds out there. So, needless to say, when I heard that Disney had a film in the pipeline, I got very excited. Then I saw it...

I can't say that I hated it. More that I was disappointed. This wasn't the Preydain I knew. It was more a fairy tale kingdom than celtic Wales. And what did they do with the characters? Gurgi a cute fuzzy monster? Elonwy turned into a typical damsel in distress? And where were Coll, or Gwydon? I'm sorry, but I didn't know these people. The characters were all different? And what about the rich sense of legend? The books had been based deeply on mythology, but the movie took the first two books, sprinkled bits and pieces of them into a script, and added a ton of fairy tale and fantasy cliches.

I've always wondered what it is with Disney writers that makes them feel it necessary to screw around with anything and everything (witness the amount of "creative license" taken with Pocahantas or Mulan.) I'm sorry, but you don't have to have cute characters or happy endings on everything. But Disney's writers think that you must. And in this case, it cheapened the ending of the film. One of the major plot points of The Black Cauldron is that the cauldron can only be destroyed by a living person sacrificing themselves by throwing themselves into it. This was kept in the film. Yet, when Disney did it, they still copped out to the happy ending by having the three Enchantresses, Ordu, Orwen, and Oregch bring him back to life... Jeeze!

It went on from there. The absence of the true villan of the Preydain chronicles, Arawn, the lord of the dead, the turning of the fair folk (who in celtic mythology were more akin to elves and dwarves) into stock, albeit grouchy, faries.... The list goes on... Disney ruined one of my favorite stories, and I can't ever forget that. Even my love for Disney masterpieces like Beauty and the Beast or 101 Dalmations is tarnished by what they did to some of my favorite books of my youth...

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979–1980)

The Animé that redefined a genré.

[14 July 2001]

In fall of 1979, Kidô Senshi Gandamu (Translated as Mobile Suit Gundam) premiered on japanese television to low ratings and general disinterest among japanese youth. The main problem is that most of the kids who watched Giant Robot animé were used to the thin plots and superheroic meka of the older shows, most of which were little more than thirty minute long toy commercials. They didn't know what to make of the complex plot and deep characters. So the show was canceled, and ended nine episodes early.

However, some months later, something unusual happened. While Gundam toys were gathering dust on the shelves, highly detailed scale model kits based on the show's Mobile Suits were selling incredibly well. And while the japanese networks were offering 'more of the same' in first run broadcast, this little known and seemingly unpopular series was gathering a huge fan following in syndication...

Now, 20 years later, we in the US finally are going to get to see what started it all. I can't believe that such shows as Macross (Robotech: The Macross Saga) and Armor Trooper Votoms, which are the direct line decendants of Gundam in storytelling and portrayal of realistic mecha, would be brought to these shores years ago, while the show that started it all would be left to languish until now.

The way was paved by 1995's visually beautiful, but ultimately empty Gundam Wing. While this was a wise business choice for Bandai, knowing that the spectacular visuals would capture the attention of the 'all important' kids's market, we dedicated fans can't help but wish that the original had been the first one released. Wing, while visually spectacular, is little more than a muddled and overly preachy and pretentious pastiche of the Universal Century saga (Gundam,Zeta Gundam, ZZ Gundam, and Gundam: Char's Counterattack) with out the cohesion of plot that the original shows contain (Although with ZZ, cohesion of plot can be argued.)

Yes, I know that the animation doesn't stand up to Gundam Wing. However, what do you expect? The show was made over 20 years ago. If you want eye candy, go watch Wing. If you want a truly outstanding story and characters, join me to watch the original Gundam, the most influential and important animé of all time, or, if you don't have Cartoon Network, at least watch the compilation movies (Sub only though, as poor Neil Nadelman was for some reason forced to use Star Trek doubletalk in the script for the dub.)

The Real Ghostbusters (1986–1991)

Not just for kids...

[13 July 2001]

With completely imaginative stories, and top notch writing, The Real Ghostbusters was far superior to Ghostbusters 2. This show benefitted from an excellent cast (Lorenzo Music, Arseno Hall, and cartoon workhorse Frank Welker,) as well as an incredible cadre of writers, including Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Strazynski, and Star Trek Tribble-meister David Gerrold.

Unlike the lackluster movie sequel, The Real Ghostbusters assumes that the increase in supernatural activity in New York doesn't subside after the banishment of Gozur the Gozerian. Instead, the series assumes that the guys stayed in business. Now, with most kids shows, this would have rapidly devolved into a series of stupid plots and repetitiveness. However, the production team for the first two seasons managed to avoid this. Instead, they dug into the deepest wells and pits of human folklore to find storylines (Indeed, this is the only 'kids' series that I have ever seen which borrowed from the works of HP Lovecraft, Clark Ashton, and August Derlith!) Gerrold, Strazinski, and the other writers (many of whom are extremely well known within Science Fiction circles) managed to construct plots which were always funny, exciting, and genuinely engaging, ranging from a spoof of Gerrold's own 'The Trouble with Tribbles (Attack of the 50 foot Slimer) to a top notch tribute to one of the greats of early 20th Century Literary Horror (Collect Call of Cuthulu) Also, the characterizations were top notch (even though Peter Venkman's lecherousness had to be toned down, obviously)

Unfortunately, after the second (?) season, the show underwent a major upheval, and most of the original creative staff left, along with some of the cast (Lorenzo Music was replaced by Dave Coulier, who, while he did a dead on Bill Murray impression, didn't have the ability to give the character as much personality.) And with the staff, so went the soul of the show. The writing went downhill, and, while the show was still above average, it just didn't catch the viewer's interest like it used to. By the time of it's final season (on the heels of Ghostbusters 2) it just wasn't worth watching...

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing (1995–1996)

It's good. It's just not Gundam

[28 June 2000]

Gundam Wing is the first installment of the 20 year old Mobile Suit Gundam franchise to make it to american television. And quite frankly, I think that Cartoon Network could have chosen a better introduction. A the same time, they could have done worse as well.

Gundam Wing tells the story of the five Gundam Pilots, young terrorists sent to Earth from the space colonies to take revenge on the death, ten years earlier, of the leader of the Colonies. In the course of their actions, they discover that their true enemy is the secret society OZ. Over it's 49 episodes, this series takes a convoluted plot, and executes it quite well. >

While the story of Gundam Wing is it's greatest strength, it is also the show's greatest weakness. The simple fact is that anyone who knows Gundam has seen it all before... We saw it in Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) and again in Gundam F91 (1990). In addition, Gundam Wing does something else which is contrary to Gundam. It makes it Superheroic...

When the original Gundam premiered in 1979, it was a landmark series because it was the first show to portray the Mecha as simple fighting machines, like a tank or fighter jet. Prior Mecha shows always showed their machines as characters, mute and unintelligent, but characters nonetheless. Gundam chan ged all that. Unfortunately, by making it's Gundams superheroic Mecha that are invincible, Gundam Wing turns it's back on that.. And ultimately, that's what turns me off of the show...

In other words, It's good, but it's just not Gundam...

Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack (1988)

The best of the Gundam movies, and the standard by which the Saga should be measured.

[10/10 · 28 March 1999]

Char's Counterattack is a worthy climax for the saga of Mobile Suit Gundam, as started in 1979's television series. A strong story, which logically concludes the storyline started in the original, is paired off with some of the best Mecha designs ever seen on screen and some seriously good performances by the voice actors who have made these characters into careers over the last 20 years.

Unfortunately, the film also contains the single most annoying character ever devised for Gundam, or even any anime. Quess Paraya, the girl you just want to reach out and strangle.