Isau Reviews

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Interesting Vignettes that Add Up to Less than the Sum of Their Parts

[6/10 · 9 August 2014]

I really wanted to love this movie. The first 20 minutes are so are very promising, and the individual scenes are well done. But there's something not quite right with the overall production. The plot? the pacing? Its difficult to put a finger on exactly what it is, and that's frustrating, because the acting is generally okay and the individual scenarios, absent the structure of the rest of the movie, are entertaining.

It's hard to pinpoint just where things go wrong. One flaw, tho, IMO is that the first cheerleader's death feels unconnected to the rest of the film. That's unfortunate, because that was where the movie seemed most coherent and interesting. Later it turns into a zombie movie (sort of). But the problem from the moment the rest of the girl's pass away is that there is no meaningful conflict left in the movie. And this moment comes later in the picture than it feels like it should.

The most disappointing part was the finale. The movie never introduces a true villain. There is a particularly nasty football captain guy, yes, but he feels like an afterthought in the overall drama.

What makes me sad is that all of these problems are things another 20-30 minutes of footage in the middle and some cuts to the beginning would probably fix. There's definitely capable film making going on here. Maybe the movie ran into budget problems? Regardless, it's a shame.

Looking (2014–2015)

Timely... if this were 1994

[5/10 · 5 February 2014]

You've seen this show before. Maybe it was called Queer as Folk, or maybe Every Gay Movie Ever Filmed. It's a parade of clichés. Good looking, vacuous men, having empty sex with each other, against a swanky metropolitan backdrop. Nothing special and certainly nothing positive.

The plusses: well, the men are ridiculously good looking. Maybe it could be a poor substitute for porn.

The minuses: I'm scared to think some straight people might watch this and think they are getting an "honest" look into the lives of gay and bisexual men.

Dreamgirls (2006)

Half of a Great Musical

[6/10 · 22 February 2008]

Dreamgirls is half of a great musical. The first 50 minutes are wonderfully choreographed, sung, and acted. Everything moves along at a breathtaking pace.

But then something strange happens. Screen time that had previously been shared between the 3 "Dreams" begins to force the best of the performers, Tony award winner Anika Noni Rose, into the background. More and more attention becomes focused on the very bland Beyonce/Deena character. Beyonce has the voice and is great in the dance numbers, but falls flat during her dramatic scenes. It doesn't help that the ballad she is forced to share with Jamie Fox/Curtis is one of the weakest songs from the stageplay.

Jennifer Hudson is slightly more tolerable in the role of Effie. Her singing is fantastic, but (despite the Oscar win) she doesn't have the acting chops to pull off the dramatic scenes that come late in the film. This is unfortunate, because she's great in the opening numbers.

Working hard to save the film are Rose and an outstanding Eddie Murphy. But, sadly, Rose/Lorrell's Ain't No Party number does not appear in the film at all, apparently to prevent her from outshining the other girls. It's unfortunate, because leaving that number in, and cutting back on some of the slow, poorly acted drama we're forced to view would make the film dramatically more watchable.

My final score: 6/10

Dark Town (2004 Video)

Great. Sort of.

[6/10 · 14 April 2007]

This is an unusual movie to say the least. We'll start with the bad: the acting's pretty spotty, the plot mostly incoherent, the film stock sort of cheap looking. The editing, especially, is bad.

But there's a lot going on here, and some of it calls into question the border between bad film and high art. Have you ever had an incoherent nightmare? One which followed no plot, but which seemed to telegraph events, characters, and ideas to you? Parts of this film can be summed up as such: "I was in my house with my family, and for some reason we were celebrating a birthday. But there was a blackout, and then when my dad showed up, he was a acting strange. Then there were these gangsters..." And throughout there is a lingering since of doom, no escape from the vampires/zombies.

It's hard to say how intentionally the director is reaching beyond purely escapism. But I think 'Dark Town', although overall not a success, is better horror than 'Urban Legend', 'I Know What You Did...', 'Wrong Turn' or any other number of teen slashers, if more for the ideas than for the execution.

Rent (2005)

Disappointing

[5/10 · 26 December 2005]

I'll begin by admitting I have never seen Rent on stage. This review will concentrate on Rent as a movie rather than as an extension of a stage show.

Rent, the movie, was a mixed bag for me. On the good side, all of the actors perform well. Rosario Dawson and the guy who played Tom Collins stood out in particular. Additionally all of the singing voices were excellent, outdoing similar Hollywood efforts like Chicago and Moulin Rouge (although not exceeding legendary vocals like Cheryl Barnes' turn in Hair). The actress playing Joanne and the actor playing Collins deserve special credit for their voices, and the actor playing Angel is a fantastic dancer, far better than what is typically seen from leads in this sort of movie.

Unfortunately, despite its good production values, there were several places where Rent failed to connect. For starters, the set design was good but a bit too glossy. Another reviewer said it looked like "Disneyland" and I'm inclined to agree; la vie bohemme in fiberglass. The sets were also dimly lit in many cases, making it difficult to see the actor's faces.

The most unforgivable aspect of Rent, sadly, is the pandering storyline. Despite the best efforts of the actors, the drama simply fails to connect. Never in this film did I feel close to the characters or sympathy for their plight. Instead they came across as whiny, self destructive, and demanding. I do not know how much of this originated from the play. The message of the movie very nearly seems to be "Honest work destroys the soul." Another criticism I have, and as far as I can tell this goes all the way back to the source material, is that the situation of these characters seems rather unbelievable and, more specifically, the musical style mostly irrelevant to them. If I had to guess what kind of music squatters in New York City would choose to represent themselves, the lyrical stylings of Rent would be far, far down the list. In this way Rent seems more to reflect external perceptions of the "bohemian life" than how real people in these situations would chose to present themselves. This may be what the author intended, but I doubt if most viewers interpret it that way.

On a final note, I have already seen some people accuse some Rent detractors of not "getting" it because of inherent homophobia, fear of AIDS and so on. As a gay man, the ex-lover of someone who is currently suffering from HIV, and someone with more than a little experience with some of the vices shown in this film, I absolve anyone feeling guilty, because Rent, the movie, does not really make a convincing argument about any of these situations. I am glad on some level that the film was "brave" enough to try, but a better follow-through would have increased my enjoyment.

My overall score: 5/10

Hair (1979)

Good music, flawed plot. Deserves a remake.

[7/10 · 20 June 2004]

This movie gets a 10 for the music and dancing, but a 5 for everything else. The producers inject a flailing plot into a production that is too fluid, and it sinks. Still, it sounds pretty at the bottom.

If you had to watch this film in fast forward, I'd recommend stopping to hear "Aquarius," "Easy to Be Hard," "Walking in Space" and (of course) "The Flesh Failures/Let the Sunshine In." "Black Boys/White Boys" and a few others also entertain, but are staged weakly. If this movie were properly remade, they could shine the way they're supposed to.

Overall I gave this movie a 7: amazing singing and choreography that shouldn't be missed, but sadly dragged down by a hammy, conventional plot that has no place in a production as radical as this. I think it's time for a remake.

Nora (2000)

Quirky but

[3/10 · 27 June 2003]

It's clear that the cast and crew of Nora put effort into the work that went on here. Unfortunately, their good intentions did not translate into a good, or even watchable, film.

To be frank, I found this movie boring. It reaches for quirkiness, but rarely rises above the mundane. Here's are some of the principle flaws:

• The setting. This movie is as glaringly, ferociously, self-consciously Irish as Baywatch is ostentatiously "Californian," and unfortunately it's just as romanticized (even if some of that romanticism is dark). It's simply overwhelming. (I hope I will not be accused of being one of "those" Americans who can't stomach non-Hollywood cinema for holding this opinion. It is only because I *do* watch a lot of foreign films that I saw this one to begin with.)

• The characters. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about the real James Joyce. However, being that he's considered one of the greatest authors in history, I had hoped he had some uncommon vision, some wisdom, or some complex guiding motivation. In this movie, he has none of these things.

• The editing. This film drags. My friends and I (two of whom, for reference, are British) ended up watching the last 15 minutes in fast-forward and it was *still* too long. 30 minutes could easily have been cut and the movie would have been better for it.

• The style. Or, lack thereof. We hear that Joyce is a creative genius. If so, he didn't influence the production team much. As another user put it, despite a few quirks the style is painfully mundane.

Overall: Tries, but finishes only average, bordering on unwatchable due to sheer length. 5/10

Audition (1999)

A unique horror film, in both good and bad ways

[8/10 · 3 May 2003]

There's one thing that can be said of this film: it's unique among horror movies. While the plot itself is nothing new (older guy falls for young, beautiful femme fatale) the presentation is completely original. This turns out to be both good and bad.

This is one of the slowest building horror movies ever. The first hour is very tame with only a few sprinklings of terror. When the terror does finally appear, however, it does so in some of the most effective and excruciating scenes ever caught on film.

That said, although I was unable to tear myself away from this film during viewing, I don't ever want to see it again. The action leading up to the climax is too slow, and the latter part of the movie too disturbing and nightmarish. I am very glad to have seen this film however, as it is one of the only horror films I've ever seen that actually lives up to its promised shock value.

My rating: 8/10

Mortal Thoughts (1991)

Much better than typical Demi-fare

[7/10 · 18 March 2003]

Most films that rely heavily on flashbacks feel contrived, but this film is redeemed by strong pacing and a tactile sense of desperation. The 'revelations' that occur throughout, if not necessarily original or surprising, are consistently entertaining, focusing more on the character's motivations for murder and betrayal than on the actual mechanics of the crime.

This is not a perfect movie, but it is oddly striking. I would give it a 6.5 out of 10, but the IMDB doesn't allow decimals. I rounded up to 7 because the film's current score of 5.5 is more fitting of a stodgy film like 2002's Unfaithful.

7/10

White Oleander (2002)

Decent film, better novel

[6/10 · 17 March 2003]

White Oleander is a decent movie featuring above-par acting and good production values. Unfortunately, though, where the novel was moving, the film is merely sentimental. It is not a bad movie by any means, but the character-driven plot that worked so well in the book feels a bit too disjointed and claustrophobic on film.

6/10

The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984)

A mess of flashbacks

[2/10 · 16 January 2003]

I rented this film on accident; I thought I was renting The Hills Have Eyes part 1. That didn't turn out to matter though, because nearly the entire contents of the first film have been conveniently spliced in to this flick. A double feature? More like ninth circle of flashback hell.

Now, film-hounds will tell you that the flashback is a weak cinematic technique but that a skilled director can sometimes pull it off. These people assumed the dreamer was bipedal. When a DOG starts having flashbacks... My God. I was so young.

My rating: 2/10. A documentary, perhaps, on how a horror films can go wrong, akin to the "Teenagers: Don't Drink and Drive" flicks shown at some high schools. Avoid.

The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984)

A mess of flashbacks

[2/10 · 15 January 2003]

I rented this film on accident; I thought I was renting The Hills Have Eyes part 1. That didn't turn out to matter though, because nearly the entire contents of the first film have been conveniently spliced in to this flick. A double feature? More like ninth circle of flashback hell.

Now, film-hounds will tell you that the flashback is a weak cinematic technique but that a skilled director can sometimes pull it off. These people assumed the dreamer was bipedal. When a DOG starts having flashbacks... My God. I was so young.

My rating: 2/10. A documentary, perhaps, on how a horror films can go wrong, akin to the "Teenagers: Don't Drink and Drive" flicks shown at some high schools. Avoid.

Mother's Day (1980)

Rapist's-eye-view

[3/10 · 15 January 2003]

This movie left me feeling dirty. It's not "scary" exactly, nor is it suspenseful...nor, for that matter, does it really have a plot to speak of. It's basically a home video of rednecks raping city girls (who later get revenge, but that doesn't seem to be the real point of the movie). It's not sexy enough to be porn and not scary enough to be horror; instead, when it's not boring, it's just sick.

My score: 3/10. Watchable perhaps for students of feminism, cultural studies, or for die-hard horror fans. Perhaps also doable at 4am when nothing else is on. Otherwise, too exploitive to register.

Double Dragon (1994)

A well earned 1

[3 July 1999]

Double Dragon is quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made. The only reason I can see anyone watching this hack is to scope out the bodies of the three main characters.

The Frighteners (1996)

Surprisingly entertaining

[8/10 · 14 June 1999]

I didn't have high hopes for this movie, but after actually viewing it, I have to say that it was quite entertaining after all. While the film is neither very funny nor very scary, its frantic pacing, combined with excellent acting, a fantastical premise, and very well done special effects make it a fun movie that everyone can enjoy.

Fargo (1996)

Over rated

[6/10 · 14 June 1999]

This could have been a great movie but the completely irrelevant sub plots and a ton of scenes that should have been edited out because they did nothing but slow the film down make it almost unwatchable. While the acting is above par, the movie is so slow that many viewers may stop caring about them altogether. Ultimately this movie is like a piece of modern art, artistically savvy but boring and generally unappealing.

Instinct (1999)

Shallow flick masquerading as deep

[4/10 · 11 June 1999]

This movie has a five cent theme. While it isn't horrible to the point of being unwatchable, then it moves very slowly, and by the time you get to see the point of the entire ordeal, the message is so cheesy, cliche, and "feel good" that you want to bury your head in your hands. (I did, anyway.) Also, when a movie is labeled as a thriller, shouldn't it be, umm, thrilling? Truthfully, the only "thrills" offered in this flick are the sudden loud noise made when Hopkins pounds his fists on the table. The only character who wasn't making me blanch repeatedly by the end of the film was Maura Teriney, whose character, while given to the occasionally sappy scene, didn't sink to the level of absolute cheese all of the other (cartoon) characters in this movie were given to constantly. This is disappointing because the premise for this movie wasn't bad. It's execution, however, is horrible, resulting in a boring, clunky film that's basically a life-action version of Bambi In the Cukoo's Nest.

The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984)

Terrible.. terrible..

[2/10 · 9 June 1999]

Is it really possible for a movie to be this bad? I only watched this because my friend attempted to rent part 1 but accidently picked up the sequel instead. This movie is beyond horrible. Our heroes are so stupid ("Today's the day of the time change!***I can't believe none of us remembered!(???) ***) you start wishing the cannibals would just hurry things along and finish them off, or the bus will run over a land mine and they'll all die at once or something. The only even marginally entertaining in this movie is an unintentionally hilarious bit in which the pet dog has a flashback to the previous movie; I almost laughed myself to tears after seeing that.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

Flirty, but clunky

[8 June 1999]

I found this movie visually attractive and the reinterpretations of some of the principle characters (Flockhart's over-the-top Helena most notably) to be rather charming additions. I also really enjoyed Rupert Everett's presence in this movie as a sexy, brooding Oberon, and Anna Freil's moving, and very convincing performance as Hermia. However, this movie was too clunky and seemed to run on for hours... I wish the plot had concentrated more on the young lovers than it had on Bottom and his troupe of actors; what had originally been a sub-plot almost overtakes the movie in this interpretation. Because of this the ending seems to have very little to do with the rest of the movie, and comes across as only incidently relevant to the drama involving the young lovers. Then again, I've only seen this movie once, and it may take several viewings to understand exactly what connection the director saw between the last 15 minutes of this movie and the first hour and a half.

Cube (1997)

Good for those who can swallow it

[9/10 · 8 June 1999]

This is a good movie for those people who can see past the obvious storyline and into the possibilities the movie sets up through its intentional vagueness. It is however a very very bad movie for people who expect an omniscient POV of the goings-ons in a film. This is definitely a movie without a guard rail; you are constantly expecting someone to get killed and wincing every time the characters enter a new room. The irony at the end of the film is notable too..

Cemetery Man (1994)

Amazing

[10/10 · 8 June 1999]

This is quite possibly one of the best horror movies ever made. While it's not exactly scary, it is very emotional and intelligent and manages to capture the feeling of caged melancholy and swelling insanity better than 99% of movies that try. Everyone in this movie is perfectly cast. This is one of the only movies on the IMDB that I feel warrants a 10. You may never look at horror movies the same after you have seen this picture.

Urban Legend (1998)

Good premise, but movie loses it

[4/10 · 17 March 1999]

This movie could have been very scary, but is instead somewhat laughable. The killer in many scenes appears to be psychic, knowing exactly where his intended victims are and how they're going to react when he strikes. It all sort of comes off like the Scooby Doo gang in a horror movie. Still, the acting isn't bad, and people who are fans of cheesy 80's horror will probably enjoy this flick despite its flaws.

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Better than the other Child's Plays, but not great.

[7/10 · 11 February 1999]

This ridiculous flick is one of those high budget movies that seems like it should have been a low one. In some ways this can be amusing, but it also makes the film pretty predicitable in terms of who is going to die... The movie also tries to go for some weird kind of touchy/feely stuff that really doesn't belong there. Everywhere you look in this thing there is somebody commited to some kind of relationship that seems impossible- the two lead characters, Tilly's character, and there's even a gay boy (the lead actress' best friend) tossed into the mix, taking over the much famed roll of the stereotypical black character in this type of movie.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Better than I expected

[7/10 · 11 February 1999]

I admit I went into this one expecting the worse, having seen bits and pieces of the various Halloween sequels (none of which can hold a candle to the original) over the years. However, I wasn't five minutes into this movie before I was unable to look at the screen. This movie can be soooo intense at times... Don't watch it alone. The only let down of this movie is that the action becomes a little awkward toward the end.

Inventing the Abbotts (1997)

Only worth the first 20 minutes

[5/10 · 11 February 1999]

This extremely predictable movie isn't really worth sitting all the way through. The first twenty minutes of the movie are by far the best, with Jeniffer Connelly's character basically carrying it all. As soon as her character exits the film, however, the interest level completely flops out and this sappy little movie seems to go on for hours... I gave it a 5 overall, though really it would be more accurate to give the Connelly scenes an 8 or 9 and the rest of the movie maybe a 3.