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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Desensitized
Saw this one at the cheapy theater. At $8 a ticket, I'm glad I waited. As a fan of the old GI Joe (before the flashy names and Power Ranger outfits), I knew next to nothing about the characters going in. This actually had the potential to be a GREAT movie but fell completely flat. The pace was fast, very fast, extremely fast, ungodly fast from start to finish within only a millisecond quip from Marlon Wayans before returning to yet another fast paced action sequence. There was no rhythm at all. What little breaks they did take from the action were filled with pathetic melodrama, pointless flashbacks, horrible CGI, and ridiculous plot Black Holes that left the characters and audience chasing their tails.
In the end I was so desensitized by the relentless action sequences that I found myself yawning during what should have been the climax of the story. Poor writing, poor directing, poor effects, and poor acting (credit to Marlon Wayans for a somewhat enjoyable performance) left me wondering what $170,000,000 was actually spent on.
Cut the characters in half, simplify the story, and chop out 30 minutes and it could have been one of the best action movies this year.
It's not the worse film ever made (6/10) but it has to be one of the worse films made for over $150,000,000.
Zombie Nation (2004)
Avoid at All Costs
I stopped by BB and picked up 4 zombie flicks to watch over the weekend. Now, I understand that the effects will be cheesy, the acting will be sub-par, and the sets will be suspect. So I'm not expecting much. But it should at least have a story. Stories don't cost a thing except time.....apparently, they didn't have any time either.
"Zombie Nation" had 5 zombies that appeared near the end of the movie that all looked like new wave hookers. The picture of the zombie on the front cover NEVER appears in the movie. It was absolutely agonizing to watch and had nothing to offer the genre.
The running time is only 81 minutes but it felt like 2 hours. According to my wife (who could only hear the movie since she was on the computer in another room), it sounded like zombie porn....which if you think about, sounds kinda gross.....but it wasn't even that good.
The only suggestion I can make is that maybe the writer tried to do too many things and ended up with an incoherent mess.
It ended up being a free rental and I still feel ripped off. I rated it a 1 out of 10 because IMDb won't allow me to use decimals.
Hide and Creep (2004)
Get the DVD
I have my Tivo set up to record ANYTHING zombie related and found that it picked up H&C on SciFi. My initial impression was that it might be TOO low budget for me to enjoy but after watching it for about 30 minutes I found myself being thoroughly entertained. The dialog in this movie is some of the funniest I've heard in the genre.
I picked up the DVD so I could see what SciFi edited out. The video and audio quality was much better and also included a few scenes that were cut out just for time. The DVD version was funnier and I enjoyed it even more than the edited version shown on SciFi. It's kinda like watching Eddy Murphy's RAW on the Comedy Channel and then going out and getting the DVD. Eddy is funny anyway but to listen and see it unedited is even that much funnier.
This is one of my favorite zombie movies and came from out of nowhere. It completely took me by surprise. It doesn't take itself too seriously and pokes fun at the genre as much as it pays homage to it. If you enjoy a little campiness mixed in with you're zombie flicks, then you really owe it to yourself to pick up the DVD (even if you've already seen SciFi version).
Also, if you are interested in how the movie was made, check out the "This Movie Won't Shoot Itself" blog by Write/Director/Producer Chance Shirley at http://quickstopentertainment.com/shootitself/archives.html.
Severed (2005)
Technical Marvel? No......Entertaining...Yes
Let's face it...It's a zombie flick so I don't usually expect much. But this film was better than I expected. I'm a big fan of the genre and found this to be quite entertaining. I'm also a SciFi fan and with the majority of the actors having previous or current work on Battlestar Gallactica (2005) and the SG1 series, I was glad to see them in a feature length motion picture. As for the movie, there were some continuity issues and some forced scenes but I enjoyed the overall story and the characters...plus the acting was acceptable. A little more time in post production to keep the story moving would have helped. So if you're a fan of the genre, I recommend seeing this one. You could certainly do A LOT worse.
The Man with One Red Shoe (1985)
Classic Cold War Comedy
This one has all the elements of a great movie. Which is odd since most comedies are usually long on laughs and short on everything else. Plot, sub-plots, character development, one-liners, tongue-in-cheek, slapstick, intrigue, suspense, drama and an excellent cast. This movie has them all. It pokes fun at the Washington Intelligence community in general at a time during the Cold War when it seemed like the CIA, FBI, and NSA had their own agendas. If you're a conspiracy theorist with a sense of humor, this movie is for you!