Mylene-2 Reviews

The Happening (2008)

SPOILERs - for a bad movie....

[2/10 · 18 June 2008]

Save your money and your time.

I am a faithful fan of M. Night Shyamalan. When everyone trashed any of his other movies, I defended them. His movies have always told such different stories; and he tells them and films them well. So, where did he go wrong here? Oh yes, he went terribly wrong.

***Spoiler to follow*** It seems he paid millions of dollars to tell his viewers that the abuse that the earth is experiencing from human existence is making her angry and she's not going to take it any longer. And apparently, you don't want to see her angry.

****And more spoilers**** For me to really enjoy a film, the characters have to be believable and act the way real people would act in certain situations. I'm talking about the porch scene. This scene had more holes in it than the police put in Bonnie and Clyde. If a little hole in a car will let in enough air to affect a carload of people, how did these people have only shutters on their windows keeping out the "whatever"? People are jumpy in times of violence. Why did the kid keep pounding on the door? Why did Mark Wahlburg not grab the kid away? Better yet -- if a one person in a group of people standing on porch gets blasted with a shotgun, the whole group will generally freak and hit the ground or run. They will not hang around like a bunch of dorks waiting to be picked off like quail.

***Yet more whiny spoilers*** Okay, now my last rant... Why was the old lady crazy? He made such a point of her madness, but no hint or explanation. Why put it in the movie if you're not going to exploit her insanity? And that thing in the bed, it reminded me of Norman's mother. Was there a dead child under that mask? Don't put something in a movie that's so distracting but adds nothing to the movie. My point, I was distracted about the whys and what fors of the old lady that it detracted from the rest of the movie.

***Summary without any spoilers what-so-ever*** You've been warned. Don't believe the good reviews, listen to me. Wait for the DVD if you feel you really have to watch it, because it's not a big screen movie anyway. And if you've read the other reviews that trash the acting, they weren't wrong. :-\

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

First movie better

[5/10 · 24 January 2006]

I loved the first movie, bought it on DVD. I would not buy this movie. There was no character buildup, they kept throwing new characters at you and quickly giving you background info on them. I didn't care about anyone in the movie. I feel that the first one was an intelligent vampire movie. The second did have good special effects, but the fight scenes weren't as good. Everyone keeps saying don't watch it unless you were a fan of the first. Well, I am, but I could have missed this movie.

**Spoilers follow**

For instance, they introduce the old man and one thinks he's a bad guy. But then we find out that he's the father and he has been cleaning up the mess of the vampires. And from the first scene, one would think that Marcus is a good guy, taking up for his brother and all that. But he's a major bad guy. From blood memory of the others, he should be able to see that werewolves have evolved and he might could actually "save" his brother with science. But noooo, he just wants to set him free. Oh well, I just think it had some inconsistencies and could have been a much better movie and didn't meet the standards of the first one.

Equilibrium (2002)

Surprisingly Good!

[10/10 · 20 July 2005]

I watched this movie late one night on one of the Encore channels. Stayed up past my bedtime I did. Then I recorded it the next time it was on. Watched it two more times and then, AND THEN, bought the DVD and watched it a couple if not three more times. First, I rarely will watch a movie twice unless enough time has passed that I have forgotten how it ends. There are just too many movies out there and not enough time. But this movie deserved the time. I loved the fight scenes, loved the premise of the movie, loved the acting (and seeing Christian Bale shirtless). Emily Watson is an amazing actress. It's rare these days to see an action/SciFi with actual plot and dialog. How can I care about a movie if I don't care about the characters? Anyway, watch it. I've lent the movie to about 5 guys and they all liked it. One guy is into the Martial Arts and he thought the fight scenes were awesome (my word -- his word/s was/were "the fight scenes were well choreographed").

Moral of the story is: watch it, you won't be disappointed. Oh, and I said "Surprisingly Good" because I had never heard of the movie and was expecting some B movie crap -- what can I say, I couldn't sleep.

The Grudge (2004)

No sirree, I wasn't scared, not one bit! What was that noise?

[25 October 2004]

I came out of the movie thinking that wasn't scary at all. Didn't jump or scream once. (I broke a pair of glasses when I saw "Poltergeist" at the theatre, obviously I was trying to escape something on the screen.) When I got home, "The Grudge" didn't cross my mind at all that evening....that is.....until I tried to go to sleep! Two nights in a row I have slept with the lights on. Every little sound woke me with a start. Sounds that I hear that are similar to the spooky sounds in the movie give me the willies. So, although the presentation of the plot may be lacking, I believe it excelled with the visuals and the audio. Because they apparently sank into a location in my brain that didn't become obvious until I went to bed. Then, much like the murdered woman crawled, these thoughts crawled from the basement of my brain to the main floor ... and wouldn't let me sleep! Darn, I'm tired.

Van Helsing (2004)

In your face Special Effects

[1/10 · 11 May 2004]

First let me give you a frame of reference as to some of the movies that I have liked in the past, "Pitch Black", "Underworld", "The Matrix", "13 Going on 30", "Dracula" (the original), "Tombstone", "Cat People", "An American Werewolf in London" and on and on. Some of these movies had special effects, but the difference between these movies and "Van Helsing", is these movies had plot and acting.

Too many movies rely on special effects and this one was definitely in that category. Why does Hollywood think we want to watch a video game? Because that's what today's special effects are giving us in the movies. Wouldn't Mr. Hyde have been more believable and frightening if they had chosen a massive actor with an evil demeanor instead of a video game looking character. And an authentic fight scene is always more enjoyable without special effects (or at least a minimum).

Within 30 minutes, I was tempted to leave and go into a different movie (wish I had!). Maybe this one did have plot, but it definetly had no depth. I didn't enjoy it and would not recommend the movie to anyone!

Bolero (1984)

Horribly Funny

[11 May 2004]

I remember watching this movie at the theater when it came out. I laughed my butt off and embarrassed my husband. I think he threatened to move on several occasions. But the lady that sat in front of me was laughing just as hard. Some other idiotic scene would happen, the lady would look back at me, and we would both start laughing. Don't watch the movie expecting something erotic and you may actually enjoy it. I mean, come on guys, would you really want to make love to a woman after she rode a horse bare-back while naked? But the real kicker was when she finally found "the one" and the neon sign started flashing the word exstacy and no I didn't misspell that! I've heard of bells going off, but neon signs? If you watch it for the "camp" factor, you may actually enjoy it.

American Outlaws (2001)

Finally some eye-candy for the women!

[5 September 2001]

The movie was mediocore. Much of the acting was stilted and the story wasn't true to history. Did I consider it a comedy? A few funny quips doesn't make it a comedy. So, no. But, ladies, if some guy begs you to go see it, GO! Colin Farrell makes the movie. Is his acting good? Who cares! He's just great to look at. Tom Cruise who? (Actually though, he was one of the better actors in the movie.) And, Timothy Dalton is quite scrumptious with the burly beard and his deep-voiced Scottish accent will melt most women.

Dracula 2000 (2000)

If you liked the old Dracula movies, you'll like this.

[9/10 · 4 September 2001]

I grew up on Bela Legosi's Dracula, Boris Karloff movies, Hammer Films Studio's movies, and Christopher Lee to name a few. This was not a great movie, but it had the feel of the older horror movies. Justine Waddell and Jonny Lee Miller did very good jobs. The movie was well cast. (Justine did an excellent job also in "The Woman in White" and "Tess of the D'Ubervilles".) Gerard Butler as Dracula was what I always picture in my mind as Dracula to look, sexy but not a pretty boy.

The different ending lent an interesting twist. If you watch this movie with the attitude that it doesn't follow the true _Dracula_ plot, you won't like it. I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps, because I was actually expecting to be disappointed.