Change Your Image
Cloud-6
Reviews
Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1988)
Laugh so hard you'll explode.
it's true, the UK version is MUCH funnier than the american version. American comedians will never be as funny as those coming from Britain. The show in the UK is so intelligent, and you must have a good imagination to enjoy this show. Along with MST3K, this is the funniest show ever.
Five the Hard Way (1969)
"The Favorite sport of cheap white trash"
This movie taught me some things, Like if you hurt someone's feelings, you die. Also, that You can sense Cambot's Boredom while watching this on MST3K. There is no more of a pointless movie than"The Sidehackers". It certainly more than qualifies for one of the contenders for the worst movie ever Award.
Rocky IV (1985)
The fourth sequel, surprisingly with the most punch!
What has Rocky been about? Rocky sums it up in this movie with the line "Maybe this fights not against him... it's you against you," I feel music is of prime importance to a film, I thought Vince DiCola's training montage and the ring music were absolutely brilliant. This film showed Rocky's passion more than ever, the human spirit is indomitable. Much of the film focused on Rocky's training, a hellish, and trying ordeal that would make someone wonder why Rocky could accomplish the impossible. The death of a loved friend set his soul ablaze, and he put out the fire in the end. It's a very emotional movie, I think it is the best of the Rocky series, with 3 coming in close behind.
Double Jeopardy (1999)
Worthless MST3K Fodder
Where do I start? The unbeleivability factor for 1. It is just not beleiveable that Ashley Judds character would be convicted without a body. I mean they never even tested the blood on the ship! Maybe it was pigs blood. and 2, I think Judds character is TOO damn stupid to deserve any sympathy from the audience, I mean if you woke up, covered in blood and your spouse is gone and you find a bloody knife on the deck, and you PICK THE KNIFE UP, would you expect us to be sympathetic????? Judd blows her cover to her husband which Anyone can see is the dumbest thing you can do in her position. Judd is out of Place here, so is Tommy Lee Jones. And I'll point out another flaw, this movie is NOT about Double Jeopardy,True, DJ is a concept that is Discussed but it really has no bearing on the films ending either!!!! Avoid this movie at all costs, Ashley judd studied in the Hollywood School of Acting... like an idiot 1/10
Yûsei ôji (1959)
Ha ha ha! Your movie has no effect on me except it bored the HELL outta me!
"Your weapons have no effect on me!" (repeated 45 non-consecutive times throughout this movie). "Prepare to leave krankor!" "what's that???" "Prepare to leave, each of you will enter a space capsule!", "What?!?!" EACH OF YOU WILL ENTER A SPACE CAPSULE!!!!!!!! Yes, unfortuanately each of the above quotations are from the movie in question. And this movie was perfect for MST3K, Tom Servo screamed the last sentence in the last paragraph. I mean HOW MANY TIMES DO PEOPLE IN MOVIES NEED TO HEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!??! OH it was so horrible, but the thing that made it even worse was the translation into english. Because the bad guy, I kid you not, says "Come out or we're gonna kill some diffrin!". I'm sure his intention was to say Children, but once again this all comes from lousy dubbing. If prince of space can save little kids from big fat guys who wear rubber noses and have worse fashion sense than Dennis Rodman, who knows huh??? Maybe one day he'll actually thwart a fight between a couple of teenage kids!
Final Justice (1984)
I'm taking you to get final Justice, I just have to finish this box of jelly doughnuts...
From the Star of "MITCHELL", From the director of "Joysticks" and "Angel's Revenge"!!! These are taglines that would normally keep me from seeing this movie. And the worst part is that all the above mentioned statements are true!!! Ugghhh... Joe Don Baker eats every other five minutes in this film. It's like a bad remake of "Coogan's Bluff"
Squirm (1976)
A movie about people who break the laws of physics
Pathetic, utterly and totally pathetic. The movie has this guy throwing a thin piece of particle board at someone and this piece landing flat on the body, not the head of some dork and knocking him cold. It is probably the most laughable scene in the history of cinema. The worms?? They merely look from a distance like twizzlers or cooked spaghetti. I kid you not. The only up close footage we ever see of the worms is merely stock footage stolen from educational films, if you are going to see it, wait until it comes on MST3K.
Angels' Brigade (1979)
"Don't Watch the Jiggling honey"
For a very long time I've wondered if a lot of bad movies would eventually get what they deserved... AND THIS heap of crap got it! A good Thrashing from our pals on Mystery Science Theater 3000! I'm so utterly disgusted by the acting on the part of the women in this movie that the only way I could stand it was while Mike, Crow and Tom Servo throw great jokes at the stupidity and insanity on the screen. To be frank, can't we just destroy every copy of this film and pretend it never existed?
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Menacing!
I have to admit, I was skeptical about how this movie was going to turn out. I was blown away, I loved every moment of this movie. It is almost like the original Star Wars over again, Anakin is taken under the wing of Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn and he learns about the Jedi. It was exciting to say the least. Darth Maul is a villain you love to hate. You also cannot help but feel like you know a lot of these characters from before somewhere. It was great to see some of our old favorites in action for the very first time! The movie was great that it also left a lot of important questions unanswered, it grips you and you can't wait for episodes II and III. We'll be waiting Lucas! 10 out of 10!!!!!
Independence Day (1996)
more MST3K fodder
Oh yes this was really original! A movie about invaders blowing up planet earth! For what purpose? WHO THE HELL KNOWS??!?! I want to choke whoever mis-casted this mess that could have been slightly better. Will smith?? Come ON, he's not the type to be in a sci-fi film! I feel the same way about MIB. Bill Pullman is very poor at portraying the president. It's fairly predictable, holds no surprises, and contains some of the stupidest and dumbest catch phrases ever written, please do you really think after escaping an alien ship you would yell "Elvis has left the building!!!" This Movie should be on MST3K, maybe eventually hollywood will learn not to sell out to "Style". * out of ********** :p
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988)
Gotta Love it.
Even if you don't like MST3K if you watch it you will bust out of your skin laughing. You'll laugh so hard you will start crying.
Grease 2 (1982)
Grease is not the word here.
OH god this is a really horrible movie. Compared to it's predecessor which by the way I gave a 10. This movie is a 1. The songs were pathetic, most likely written by a 7th grade girl with some help MAYBE from a couple of 8th grade boys. in the dictionary, under the word "Hokey", this movie is listed in the definition. Why don't they spoof this on MST3K, it certainly deserves it!!!
Zaat (1971)
MST3K to the rescue!
Just another rip-off of old sci-fi films about mad doctors turning themselves into "devil fish". LOL. Now if you were to watch this film without mike and the bots on MST3K you would be bored to tears, in fact you would probably prefer going to work in a coal mine. MST3K made it funny! Let's hear it for 'em!
Rocky IV (1985)
The fourth sequel, surprisingly with the most punch!
What has Rocky been about? Rocky sums it up in this movie with the line "Maybe this fights not against him... it's you against you," I feel music is of prime importance to a film, I thought Vince DiCola's training montage and the ring music were absolutely brilliant. This film showed Rocky's passion more than ever, the human spirit is indomitable. Much of the film focused on Rocky's training, a hellish, and trying ordeal that would make someone wonder why Rocky could accomplish the impossible. The death of a loved friend set his soul ablaze, and he put out the fire in the end. It's a very emotional movie, I think it is the best of the Rocky series, with 3 coming in close behind.
Kyûketsuki hantâ D (1985)
D, AKA: Alucard???
This has got to be my favorite anime movie, first of all because I typically like movies about vampires, and because we have a cool hero, not one who spits out stupid catch phrases every 10 seconds, but one who "Speaks only when he has something important to say". It's unusual, theatric, violent, and requires little if no explaining to anyone watching the film. It's a Final Fantasy movie to me!
Xanadu (1980)
2cd best muse-ical ever.
Ah yes, those who have yet to MATURE will down this beautiful film, the music is what keeps this Movie going, while it does have some moments that some might find "hokey". Xanadu is a great film, with a soundtrack that has gone PLATINUM, it's no wonder with Olivia Newton-John's song "Magic".
Flash Gordon (1980)
Flash... AWESOME!!!
Excellent movie, excellent Music, I thought everyone was well-cast, and Max Von Sydow is especially good at playing the sinister and sadistic Ming The Merciless. Queen's music is perfect, you could not have asked for better, the styles of the spaceships and the costumes is great, especially looking not unlike designs of the original Flash Gordon. I Recommend this movie to ANY fan of good, fun Sci-fi!!!
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
More than meets (You know the rest)
Now I was very excited when I first saw this movie when it was released circa October of 85. I still have my old copy of the film and I recently purchased a newer copy. Yeah yeah, every critic calls it "a toy commercial", Bah! That's what they say about EVERY movie not made by walt disney. I feel that as a music-lover, that scoring and music was great for this film, the heavy metal of course was very appropriate I thought, even when I first saw the film. Yeah, the film has about one or two weak moments, for example, wheelie, blurr and their annyoing voices (they need a voice-box cleaning bad!) Leonard Nimoy was powerful as Galvatron, whose ruthlessness rivals Megatrons. The animation is ahead of its time, and for those of you who like camp, and a bit of awesome action, here it is!