After a terrible accident, the stars of the original Hot Tub Time Machine are forced to travel in time once again; this time to save a life. The actors do a great job. All of them. But the horrible characters they've been given and the ridiculous story line brings this down. Rob Cordry's character in particular is so unlikeable, that when his obvious changes of heart (and there are several) happen, they are not plausible, If you liked the comedy of Hot Tub Time Machine 1, but felt the story was too believable and the emotional connections you made to the characters too strong, you'll love this film. Some interesting concepts are turned to crap and some funny lines are drowned amongst thousands of duds. However do stick with it, just so you'll never be tempted to watch it again.
Reviews
10 Reviews
A Knight's Tale
(2001)
A Good Knight? More like a Knightmare!
23 September 2001
Warning: Spoilers
Some people will love this film. They will see it as a sports movie, like Rocky, or The Mighty Ducks, or Remember the Titans. Gorgeous babes (of both sexes), violence, action, romance, nudity, rock music, horses running in slow motion and people with poo on them. Sounds to me like the perfect Blockbuster. But the entire film just didn't do it for me.(Spoiler Alert!!!!!) I've got this picture in my head, see. The movie is called a Knight's Tale, not a Cowboy's Tale, or a Struggling boxer from the wrong side of the tracks' Tale. Knights behave in a certain way, and that's what I went to see. You don't rent Dirty Harry for its dance numbers, or watch Police Academy for insights into existentialism. Some genres are about certain things, and Medieval Action/Romance is about knights. A knight is noble, believes in honour and is motivated to do great deeds because he is inspired by God, or his true love or the quest for truth, justice and the Arthurian way. Heath Ledger's Mark Thatcher is just a spoilt brat. He wants to be famous. That's his most heroic quality. Let's check out his other heroic qualities and what they tell us about knights. When his friends finally get the money to go home after years overseas, he refuses to let them and spends their money on setting himself up as a knight. (lesson- a knight doesn't give a toss what anyone else thinks.) When caught breaking all the rules, instead of running, as everyone he loves suggests, Thatcher yells "I will not run" and gets arrested and beat up. (lesson- Knights are morons and still don't give a toss what anyone thinks.) I could go on. I just couldn't like him. Just like Leonardo in Titanic, I hated the character. Wouldn't want to know him and wouldn't speak to him if I did. Stuck up, self-centred, dishonest and stubborn, good qualities when your hero is James Bond, but not when he's a Knight. The jousting was supposed to be spectacular, but really, there's only so many times you can watch two horses run at each other before the novelty wears off. One time, to be precise. And the anachronisms and historical inaccuracies. I could just about deal with a naked Geoffrey Chaucer (whom every one calls Jeff), and peasant crowds doing the wave and chanting "We will rock you", but face painting, and dancing straight out of a Madonna video was too much for me. And when "Jeff" stands on the arm of the Prince of Wales' chair to announce the latest joust, and receives a round of applause instead of an arrow through the throat, it was the closest I've come to walking out of a film since I found out "Blow" wasn't a porn movie. A waste of time and money
Stickmen
(2001)
Tarantino Down Under.
24 May 2001
I loved this film. Ok, it's made on the cheap, the story is very basic and some of the characters are over the top, but that describes "Resevoir Dogs" and " Lock, Stock..." as well. The acting and sense of humour are superb, and it contains a real insight into New Zealand's lad culture. Visually stunning, occasionally letting style overtake substance (just like Tarantino and Ritchie did with their films), it is a joy to watch. And the drunken pool master is really funny. If you're prepared to let the higher brain functions have a night off, catch this film. More fun than a cat in a Microwave. (And if that line offends you, probably give this film a miss.)
The Karate Kid Part III
(1989)
Absolutely No Redeeming Features.
8 October 2000
The Karate Kid was one of my favourite movies. It was a fairy tale. Boy fights the bad guys with the help of a mysterious and wise teacher, overcomes the odds and gets the girl. Enough humour, action and feel good vibes to keep anyone smiling. But somehow....they lost the plot in the second sequel. "The Karate Kid III" is one of the lamest kids films I have ever seen. Ralph Macchio, who was only mildly annoying in part one shows he hasn't really learnt anything, despite looking like the only Forty year old teenager in California. I wanted him to get his head bashed in, if only to stop his whining. The bad guys dress in black (of course), and go Bwa-Ha-HA! a lot. They just need capes, top hats and long moustaches to fill out there characters. They certainly don't fill them out by acting. And the Climbing scenes!!!! Girl takes Ralphie rappelling down a cliff with no training and no safety rope, then they get back up by climbing hand over hand, which is frankly impossible for anyone lacking superhuman strength, and totally unsafe. What passes for plot is about Daniel-san not wanting to quit while he is ahead. Maybe the director should have taken the hint.
X-Men
(2000)
Somewhere between X-cellent and X-crement
26 August 2000
It is really hard to review a film based on a novel without being disappointed by the necessary changes a director has made. It's even harder to be objective when the movie is based on a piece of literature that has been adding new chapters every month for over 30 years.
"X-men" is based on Stan Lee's ground breaking comic book about the persecution of Mutants, humans who have evolved into a new powerful race called "Homo Superior." Despite being persecuted by normal folks, a small group of mutants band together to protect humanity from the evil mutants who seek to destroy them. It has been for many years the largest selling American comic book, mixing all the elements of a great adventure novel with pictures of people in shiny yellow spandex. The film has tried to create a delight for long time comic fans, while not not totally confusing the general public with no idea of the X-mens' 30 year long backstory. So here are a few of the good, and not so good characteristics of the film. I'll do my best not to make comparison to the comics.
Good.
Acting. Hugh Jackman, as Wolverine was fantastic. Surly, feral but with a heart of gold, he was the star of the film by a mile. Even my comic-illiterate companions enjoyed his performance, laughing at every one liner, and gasping as Wolverine performed his tricks with his personal Ginsu knife set, the unbreakable metal blades that shoot out from his knuckles. Anna Pacquin showed real emotion as Rogue, the teenage girl risks killing everyone she touches and there were also fine performances by Ray Park as Toad and James Marsden as Cyclops in small supporting roles.
Directing. Bryan Singer obviously worked hard on this. You can feel the great moments. The love triangle between Marsden, Jackman and Famke Jansen as Jean Grey is one of the highlights, as are the little touches of humour. After being admonished by team leader Cyclops, Wolverine retracts his knuckle blades slowly, leaving the middle blade standing defiantly up in a one finger salute. However in trying to please every one , Singer has left the product a little empty. The confrontation between the two mentors of the good and evil mutants, Xavier and Magneto, only sparkles for an instant outside a train station, and fails to deliver for most of the film.
The Bad. Well, its what is missing that lets the film down. Not enough action, little character development, and the fact that the best villain, (an evil bigoted senator called Kelly) explodes halfway into the film, really disappointed me. It reminded me of a Milk Dud hidden in a bowl of broccoli. You had to wade through too much horrible, boring stuff to get to the good stuff
"X-men" is based on Stan Lee's ground breaking comic book about the persecution of Mutants, humans who have evolved into a new powerful race called "Homo Superior." Despite being persecuted by normal folks, a small group of mutants band together to protect humanity from the evil mutants who seek to destroy them. It has been for many years the largest selling American comic book, mixing all the elements of a great adventure novel with pictures of people in shiny yellow spandex. The film has tried to create a delight for long time comic fans, while not not totally confusing the general public with no idea of the X-mens' 30 year long backstory. So here are a few of the good, and not so good characteristics of the film. I'll do my best not to make comparison to the comics.
Good.
Acting. Hugh Jackman, as Wolverine was fantastic. Surly, feral but with a heart of gold, he was the star of the film by a mile. Even my comic-illiterate companions enjoyed his performance, laughing at every one liner, and gasping as Wolverine performed his tricks with his personal Ginsu knife set, the unbreakable metal blades that shoot out from his knuckles. Anna Pacquin showed real emotion as Rogue, the teenage girl risks killing everyone she touches and there were also fine performances by Ray Park as Toad and James Marsden as Cyclops in small supporting roles.
Directing. Bryan Singer obviously worked hard on this. You can feel the great moments. The love triangle between Marsden, Jackman and Famke Jansen as Jean Grey is one of the highlights, as are the little touches of humour. After being admonished by team leader Cyclops, Wolverine retracts his knuckle blades slowly, leaving the middle blade standing defiantly up in a one finger salute. However in trying to please every one , Singer has left the product a little empty. The confrontation between the two mentors of the good and evil mutants, Xavier and Magneto, only sparkles for an instant outside a train station, and fails to deliver for most of the film.
The Bad. Well, its what is missing that lets the film down. Not enough action, little character development, and the fact that the best villain, (an evil bigoted senator called Kelly) explodes halfway into the film, really disappointed me. It reminded me of a Milk Dud hidden in a bowl of broccoli. You had to wade through too much horrible, boring stuff to get to the good stuff
Deliverance
(1972)
Gross is not always Good
26 July 2000
I'm sorry but if it wasn't for "Dueling Banjos" and the fact that this film introduced " Squeal like a piggie" into common usage. I'd give this film a Zero. It has great potential, with city folks taking a last canoe trip down a soon-to-be- dammed river, and gettin' inta some feudin' with the locals. I love canoes, and was hoping for some decent white water action. Instead I got wooden acting, dull dialogue, a pointless plot and a dirty little scene that got more laughs than shocks when I saw it. Long boring scenes of near drowning took away any chance of my appreciating the progress/nature debate or the concept of civilised man's descent into barbarism when faced with barbaric situations. What a waste of time and talent. They should've had more banjos. I gave it 2.
The Happy Prince
(1974)
Forget E.T, this is one sad movie.
31 October 1999
I remember seeing this film for the first time and missing the end because I was crying so much. Pretty embarrassing for a 10 year old boy. After this, I couldn't see what all the fuss was about that little wrinkled alien and his mate Elliot. The Happy Prince tells the story of a magnificent Golden Statue and his efforts to make the world a better place. Like Oscar Wilde's other great tear jerker, The Selfish Giant, it explores the nature of sacrifice and friendship. If you get the chance, devour this movie, it is a true great. Just make sure you bring a childlike view of the world. And Kleenex. Lots of Kleenex
Lost Highway
(1997)
It's long, Its dull and I don't get it!
20 August 1999
Remember the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. You know about the imaginary suit of clothes that everyone pretended to see because not seeing the clothes proved you were stupid and not cool. Well. David Lynch has weaved us another movie, and I'm sorry, critically acclaimed or not, I'm not buying it. If I made this film, producers would say, " Well, John, nice spooky scene where Bill Pullman rings his house, but I just don't get it. Your dialogue sucks, the Thunderbirds are more expressive actors, You need to turn more lights on and try and make the movie mean something, for crying out loud!!!" Well that's what they'd say if they saw we at all. They would probably chuck this garbage straight in the bin. If I'd made it. But I didn't make it. David Lynch did. And he's a genius, all the clever people say so. So Bravo, Davey-boy. Don't let anyone tell you your film sucks, needs a real plot, or acting, or an ending. They obviously aren't as brainy as you and me. And by the way, I love your new clothes.
The Princess Bride
(1987)
My Favorite film, no question.
2 June 1999
For such a simple film, this has left a huge impression. From the coolest sword fight ever, to the best performance by a rhyming wrestler, this film in perfect for everyone who still thinks Marilyn Manson is just a freako, and not the holder of ultimate truth in the universe. Billy Crystal must wish he had more roles like this after his recent crapolla and Cary Elwes should have been the coolest guy in the universe after this. (Maybe he ran over a cat or something.) If you know any children, turn off Minecraft, and force them to watch this. And sit down with them, you'll love it. Oh, ans since I'm editing this, and the new rules are forcing me to make the review longer. Read the Book too. It's quite different, but both are works of art in their own ways.
Alien 3
(1992)
Biggest disappointment of my life!!
11 October 1998
After the tense thriller of Alien and the Stroke inducing terror of Aliens, Number three totally bummed me out! It was like following up the world's two scariest roller coasters with a ride on the ghost train featuring an old guy in a sheet yelling Boo. I didn't care about any of the characters, least of all Ripley, the dingy sets didn't make me scared, it just made me want to wash, and although the final set piece was impressive, I was thoroughly bored throughout. Ressurection restored my faith in the francise a little, but I just couldn't get the bad taste outa my mouth
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