Joel McHale: Johnny Cage
Photos
Quotes
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Johnny Cage : This better not go straight to video...
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Liu Kang : Raiden said your destiny would be clear. So, there she is.
Johnny Cage : You know what? I guess I don't mind having my balls crushed. By her, I mean.
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Johnny Cage : Heeere's Johnny!
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Johnny Cage : [referring to Sonya] Think she'll ever like me?
Jax Briggs : She didn't hit you in the nuts, did she?
Johnny Cage : Yes she did, Jax. Yes, she did.
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Johnny Cage : Listen, sweetheart, we should get out of here...
[Sonya kicks Johnny in his groin]
Johnny Cage : My dick!
Sonya Blade : Fuckballs, no one touches me without permission! You got it?
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Sonya Blade : I guess Raiden was wrong.
Johnny Cage : Oh. Ya think?
Liu Kang : No. Stay together. We'll survive. We have to.
Johnny Cage : Yeah. We better. I need to make it home so I can kill my agent.
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Liu Kang : You both made it. Good. I fear it's only gonna get harder from here.
Johnny Cage : Whoa. Wait. What's gonna get harder? I just fought a walking pair of teeth on the side of a mountain. I'm not Tom Cruise, you know. I act. I leave that stunt shit to the stunt people.
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Johnny Cage : No, no, don't wait for me, I'm fine! Just let me pee out some blood!
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Johnny's Ex : Call me when you grow up.
Johnny Cage : So, I can still call her then. That's a W.
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Liu Kang : Liu Kang of the White Lotus Society.
Johnny Cage : Johnny Cage of the superstar variety, but you probably knew that. And you are?
Sonya Blade : Not interested.
Johnny Cage : Oh, you will be. They always are.
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Raiden : We are approaching the veil.
Johnny Cage : Who's that? Let me guess. He's kinda our Merlin?
Liu Kang : That is Lord Raiden, Protector of Earthrealm.
Johnny Cage : Boom! Nailed it. Wait. Earthrealm? Did you guys get a script already or something? Look, I'd love a copy. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I am pretty good at improv, so, uh... Lord Raiden, right? Good to meet you. So, tell me more about this veil.
Raiden : The space between realms to prevent Outworld from merging with Earthrealm.
Sonya Blade : Prevented by what?
Raiden : Always the soldier. Evaluating risks. What guards the veil is of less consequence than what it does so. if Shao Kahn wins this tournament, Earth as you know it will cease to exist.
Johnny Cage : Not to fear, Lord Raiden. I, Johnny Cage, will make sure that Earthrealm, so dumb, will be safe from harm. You have my word on it.
