- Adam Kay: [On the phone to the alarm maintenance firm] Listen, I need someone to come here with a tool box, a jumpsuit, and the phrase "I have fixed the alarm." What? Three weeks? Which of Neptune's moons are you based on, exactly?
- Mrs. Winnicka: Nobody cares if I die.
- Adam Kay: Oh, I don't know. The lion and the wardrobe will probably miss you.
- Harry: All this is teaching me is that famous people are the same as normal people, just much more boring.
- Adam Kay: How bad's the pain, on a scale of zero to ten, where zerois no pain at all, and ten is sawing your own leg off while listening to Michael Buble.
- Adam Kay: Fancy a nightcap?
- Mrs. Winnicka: Of course not. Jack Daniels tastes like cat's piss.
- Adam Kay: Well, they were fresh out of eye of newt.