Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2018)

Malcolm Ray: Malcolm, Sam, Blade

Quotes 

• Sean Connery : Sam, Sam. I know you're bummed that I took that Highlander II role.

  Malcolm : Mr. Connery, you're one of the biggest stars in the world and you can make a few mistakes every once in a while. Your friend, Michael Crichton, sent me a bounce-back script. It's called Jurassic Park. You're the guy who owns the park!

  Sean Connery : That sounds too small. I want a ridiculous amount of money for it.

  Malcolm : Well, Sean, if you're not willing to take a slightly smaller role, you might wanna consider retiring...

  Sean Connery : Bullshite! I'm as snappy as my leotard in Zardoz! And if the people want giant lizards, I got a role for them: a giant flying one in Dragonheart!

  Malcolm : I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous...

  Sean Connery : Sam, Sam... you're a good boy... and I don't like you. But you're a dumbass. Sign me up for Dragonheart!

  Sean Connery : [several years later]  Sam. Sam. That might not have been the best choice.

  Malcolm : Well, you know when...

  Sean Connery : Shut up. I have a role that's full-proof enough: The Avengers!

  Malcolm : Hey, that's perfect! I heard that Marvel has some major plans for their movies...

  Sean Connery : Not that comic book crap! The 60's TV show no kid knows about!

  Malcolm : I don't know, Sean. I have a script here for something called The Matrix. You play a mentor named Morpheus, and it's supposed to be very cutting-edge.

  Sean Connery : Morpheus? That's what I named my leotard in Zardoz!

  Malcolm : Must you always reference that?

  Sean Connery : Yes. Pass up on that Matrix crap! Sign me up for The Ave...

  Sean Connery : [several years later]  Sam. Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam. Sam...

  Malcolm : Yes...?

  Sean Connery : Avengers didn't work out.

  Malcolm : I kinda figured...

  Sean Connery : But this one is a sure-fire hit! I'd bet my career on it! It's called The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!

  Malcolm : Okay, look Sean, I'll level with you here... I have a script here for The Lord of the Rings - one of the most famous books ever written, you're filming three movies all at the same time, something never done before in cinema, and they are offering you the role of Gandalf! You have to be an idiot, nay, absolutely insane to turn down a sure-fire blockbuster series like this!

  Sean Connery : [long pause]  Sign me up for The League of Extraordinary...

  Sean Connery : [several years later]  I think I should retire.

  Malcolm : I think you're an idiot!