NCIS (TV Series)
Handle with Care (2018)
Wilmer Valderrama: Nick Torres
Quotes
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Timothy McGee : You know, Delilah's cousin had a thing with the IRS. It's actually a pretty funny story.
Nick Torres : Was it, uh, terrible and he lost a ton of money after months of paperwork?
Timothy McGee : Yeah, I guess it's not that funny of a story.
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Timothy McGee : Do you know this man?
Molly Guinn : John? Yeah. He comes in here every day to send out those packages of his.
Timothy McGee : You ever talk to him?
Molly Guinn : [awkward laugh] Yeah.
Nick Torres : What does that mean?
Molly Guinn : Well, if I'm being completely honest, I think he's got a bit of a crush on me.
Nick Torres : Really. And why do you say that?
Molly Guinn : He thinks I don't notice, but John always lets people budge him in line until my station's free.
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Timothy McGee : What do you and John talk about?
Molly Guinn : Stuff. Uh, mainly my husband and kids. He'll bring in leftover cookies from his care packages for them.
Nick Torres : I'd hold off on eating the last batch.
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Whit Dexter : So, a government organization known as NCIS just paid me a visit. These scumbags are trying to frame me for the murder of a sailor named James Sweeney. Now, I've learned that this sailor was about to go on record, exposing our old friend John Ross. But now that sailor's dead. How did he die? From poisoned cookies in care packages sent by John Ross.
Clayton Reeves : We never said a word to him about Ross.
Nick Torres : Or anything about poison.
Timothy McGee : Dexter shouldn't know how Sweeney died.
Leon Vance : Unless he had something to do with it.
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Leon Vance : Six years ago, an up-and-coming shock jock accused me of running a money laundering ring out of the Navy Yard.
Nick Torres : Dexter reminds you of him?
Leon Vance : Dexter is him. His claims about me were so outrageous, they never caught any mainstream attention. But over the years, he's learned.
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Timothy McGee : [hearing Nick yell in frustration] Everything all right?
Nick Torres : No!
Ellie Bishop : You want to talk about it?
Nick Torres : I got a letter from the IRS. They want my leave and earning statements from when I was undercover in South America. I mean, who keeps an LES from five years ago?
Timothy McGee , Ellie Bishop : I do.
Clayton Reeves : I once had a friend at MI6 whose taxes get messed up when he was undercover in Borneo. Took him years to pay off.
Timothy McGee : How'd that happen?
Clayton Reeves : He tried to write off a helicopter as his company car.
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John Ross : Have a seat anywhere you want. The boxes are right over there.
Nick Torres : Oh, we're with NCIS. Uh, we have a few questions for you.
John Ross : Oh, wow. Uh, yeah, ask away.
[McGee glances around the room]
John Ross : Hey, anything you got to ask me, you can ask me in front of them.
Timothy McGee : Well, I'm afraid we can't. We're gonna need you to come in.
John Ross : What's this all about?
Nick Torres : One of your care packages killed a sailor.
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Ellie Bishop : Petty Officer Second Class James Sweeney.
Timothy McGee : 23 years old, married, no kids.
Nick Torres : He owns a home in Virginia with his wife Emma.
Timothy McGee : Parents were killed in a car crash when he was sixteen years old.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Record?
Ellie Bishop : Spotless.
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Leroy Jethro Gibbs : What about our suspect?
Nick Torres : Retired Marine Sergeant John Ross.
Ellie Bishop : He sends out care packages every day from his Legion Hall in Franconia, Virginia.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Every day?
Timothy McGee : Got him set up in interrogation whenever you're ready.
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Leroy Jethro Gibbs : We sure that Sweeney's care package was sent by Ross?
Ellie Bishop : Contents are consistent with the packages he sent in the past.
Nick Torres : And not to mention his pictures.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : [looking closer at Ross' ribbon rack] That's the Prisoner of War Medal.
Timothy McGee : Yeah, Ross was held captive for five years in Iran after being taken during the raid on the U.S. Embassy. He was on duty as a Marine Security Guard.
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Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Hey. Where are we? Street surveillance on the mailbox?
Nick Torres : No luck. Small town. No cameras nearby.
Timothy McGee : We're still gathering a list of veterans who helped pack boxes at Legion Hall.
Nick Torres : And so far, no connection to the victim.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Gotta connect to somebody somewhere.
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Whit Dexter : Gentlemen, you got three minutes before I'm back from commercial. My secretary says you're with CSI?
Nick Torres : NCIS.
Whit Dexter : Whatever. What do you want?
Clayton Reeves : We're here to ask you a couple of questions.
Whit Dexter : Is this guy for real? Seriously? Of course you're here to ask me a couple of questions. You guys are cops; you came down here to see me. Out with it.
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Nick Torres : James Sweeney.
Whit Dexter : What, is he a moron, too? You guys both morons? What the hell is th... is this some sort of prank show? Come on. You guys are wasting my time.
Clayton Reeves : Do you know who James Sweeney is?
Whit Dexter : No. Why?
Nick Torres : He was murdered.
Whit Dexter : Oh. Sucks for him.
Nick Torres : Yo. Enough with the attitude.
Whit Dexter : Have a little bit of respect, mate.
Whit Dexter : [mimicking his accent] A little bit of respect, mate, for someone I don't even know?
Nick Torres : For someone who served his country.
Whit Dexter : Oh, he was military?
Clayton Reeves : Yeah.
Whit Dexter : Well, at least he knew what he signed up for.
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Jimmy Palmer : Log on to ZNN.
Timothy McGee : Okay. What's happened?
Jimmy Palmer : It's Dexter. He's claiming you harrassed him.
Nick Torres : Uh, that's not good.
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Nick Torres : Dexter confess yet?
Leon Vance : Not quite.
Whit Dexter : You know, everyone in this country is done following the old establishment.
[Gibbs stands to leave]
Whit Dexter : And I'm just providing them with something new to follow.
Nick Torres : Whoa, whoa, where's he going?
Leon Vance : He's letting Dexter stew. Gibbs has him right where he wants him.
Nick Torres : Oh, good. 'Cause I want to be here when he breaks him.
Leon Vance : Me, too.
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Nick Torres : I got it!
Ellie Bishop : Thank god.
Clayton Reeves : Well, where was it?
Nick Torres : Oh, it was in an e-mail account I forgot I had.
Ellie Bishop : What? Well, what are you talking about?
Nick Torres : My missing LES, baby. Pay period eleven, 2013. I've been looking for it all night.
Abby Sciuto : Wait. So... you've been in there working on your taxes?
Nick Torres : Yes.
Clayton Reeves : And you haven't done anything the entire time?
Nick Torres : I can multitask.
Timothy McGee : I no longer feel bad the IRS wants to take all your money.
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Clayton Reeves : That's Petty Officer Sweeney's brother. Clyde.
Tom Moore : Hey, I know this guy. He came in to pack some boxes. It was about a month ago.
Nick Torres : Was John here?
Tom Moore : Man, John's always here.
Nick Torres : Did either of you talk to this man?
Tom Moore : Yeah, a little bit. You know, I just remembered. He took a few boxes with him that he wanted to pack at home.
[on the video, a woman enters]
Tom Moore : That must be his girlfriend.
Clayton Reeves : [recognizing Emma] That's his brother's wife.
Tom Moore : Really? Because they look like they're getting along pretty well to me.
[on the video, she and Clyde share a passionate kiss]
Tom Moore : Oh, my!
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Timothy McGee : Is that your "caught the bad guy" dance?
Nick Torres : No, that's my "IRS messed up and now they owe me money" dance.
Timothy McGee : Oh, they owe you?
Nick Torres : Yeah. The only thing that would make this day better is if we somehow got to arrest Whit Dexter.
Ellie Bishop : Well, you get the next best thing. He's already lost multiple sponsors.
Nick Torres : No!
Ellie Bishop : Yeah, apparently influencing a murder is where they finally draw the line.