- Cameron Tucker: There's no one I want to impress more than Sho' Nuff.
- Phil Dunphy: True that.
- Cameron Tucker: No, True Dat is just the DJ, I don't care what he thinks.
- Jay Pritchett: [about a squeaky door] You know, I could oil those for you.
- Haley Dunphy: Oh, no, no, don't. These are traditional Tibetan creaking hinges.
- Mitchell Pritchett: We need those.
- Mitchell Pritchett: I'm still getting accents of elephant off you. We may have to cut off your hair.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: No!
- Haley Dunphy: Oh, one last thing. Do NOT touch the tiara on display in the drawing room. It is very delicate. Got it?
- Claire Dunphy: Sorry honey, you're just doing that thing where you look like a really intense baby deer!
- Phil Dunphy: Oh, the scarier you try to be, the more adorable you are!