Murder on the Blackpool Express (2017 TV Movie) User Reviews

Good fun

[studioAT · 6/10 · 19 December 2019]

This was good fun, perfect pre-Christmas/Bank Holiday viewing.

With a great cast (including Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson) this comedy take on Murder on the Orient Express had lots of laughs, and some famous faces sending themselves up (Nigel Havers) along the way.

Apparently it has led to two further outings, but I have not seen these.

This could do with a DVD release.

such a letdown

[chunky15 · 5/10 · 20 November 2017]

Where do i start? with such a fantastic line up of some of the most gifted comedy actors in Britain i was expecting not only to watch this , but to keep re watching it for years to come as a comedy classic. Sadly this will never happen, in fact it only stands up to watching it once because of the cast.Surely with the wealth of experience the cast have between them they could have advised the writers on how to inject some humour into it?. i actually questioned whether they had read the script before agreeing to star in it?, i could count on one hand the times i mildly giggled at the humour. It was like drinking a bottle of lemonade a couple of days after opening it, and the only reason i have given it a 5 rating is because i love most of the stars in it

Funny but this express runs out of steam.

[gee-15 · 6/10 · 23 July 2021]

This film concerns a seemingly disconnected group of people on a bus tour of fictional murder sites with the egotistical author of several murder mysteries leading the way. However, at each site, a murder of one of the tourists occurs and the sprightly tour guide and cynical bus driver find themselves playing detective.

This whole scenario is definitely played for laughs and it's really a joke-a- minute kind of enterprise. And that works well for the first hour. However, I think this kind of approach to comedy-murder is hard to sustain and by the time it ends, the "jokiness" gets a bit wearing. And the murder mystery itself is at a "Murder She Wrote" level of complexity. The performance of Johnny Vegas as the bus driver helps a great deal. He makes for an unusual "detective" and his jokes are the ones that land the most often.

Best thing I've seen for awhile

[grandeldress · 7/10 · 24 January 2024]

Not usually a fan of comedies, but the dramas I have seen lately were very poor so checked this out. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought the dialogue was clever & humorous; I laughed out loud at several points. Nothing was particularly original, but it wasn't a carbon copy of anything else in particular just another who-done-it with a finite group of people traveling/staying together with members dying one by one. I liked the character choices; the senior citizen ladies were delightful yet not the stereotypes often seen in show of this type.

I thought this was a delightful movie, well worth the time to watch it. With a bit of a surprise to me at the end.

Some Funny Lines But General Cheapness and Stagey Scenes Let it Down

[jethrojohn · 6/10 · 30 July 2023]

I was kind of excited for this, cause I like Johnny Vegas. I gotta say I enjoyed it, but not as much as I'd like.

What we have is the typical murder mystery set-up. Passengers on a coach tour are being bumped off. All the characters are various degrees of awful, or hiding secrets, and all are going for quirky.

Ostensibly, we should have some sort of investigation going on, but the film gets to the hour mark of its 90 minutes before any of the characters even realise that there's a killer on the loose.

Which is the first problem of the show. We have a murder mystery without any clues or investigation, so what we're doing is just watching people get knocked off and not getting any idea why.

What's left is the comedy, which is very hit and miss. The staging is very TV-like, with flat shot composition and no interesting shots. Poirot was made for TV and it was better than this, although I suspect the production values are much lower here.

Visually, it is uninspired, with perfunctory direction. The camera barely moves.

The acting is pretty bad across the board. It seems the actors were instructed to act as if they were in a farce, perhaps? Meaning it all comes off like an amateur stage play, with line delivery made by people standing around just saying things that are sometimes funny.

The main couple do quite well, though, with good chemistry between Vegas and Sian. Everyone else, though talented, feels like this is their first picture. The overacting grates after a while.

(I wasn't surprised to see that many of them were from Corrie...)

What doesn't help is the pretty poor writing. The script is all over the place, not brilliantly funny, and just kind of amusing. It'll get a chuckle or a smile out of you, but nothing on the level of, say, the better Carry Ons.

We have such great lines as:

"Heads don't just fall off!"

Delivered with all the conviction of a sausage bap at a petrol station.

All in all, an amusing watching, that'll get a smile or two, but won't get much else from you.

cheesy fun

[MzzKaren · 7/10 · 4 March 2023]

I enjoyed watching this over the top romp with great character actors hamming it up cleverly. You have to be in the mood to suspend completly rational thought for a while. The second movie, "Death on the Tyne" also was very funny and used a lot a few of the same character actors. I give it an 8. However. The 3rd installation "Dial M for Middlebrough" fell flat and ran out of steam, I couldn't keep watching it. I rate it a two just because I like the charater actors.

Then they attempted to make a series of them being detectives.

This is already totally implausible, because they were so horribly bad at it. I tried to watch the first of three episodes, I couldn't make it ten minutes. The first two are good, give the rest a pass.

Very disappointing

[CabbageCustard · 4/10 · 10 October 2022]

This movie has got two things going for it: a great cast and a clever premise. Unfortunately, the only thing it hasn't got going for it is being funny. That's pretty deadly for a comedy one would think. Sadly, this movie doesn't get very far into the proceedings before it becomes pretty obvious that it's a lemon. The rest of its running time combines to make this the longest 90 or so minutes I have endured in a long time. And to think they made three in the series! I shall be giving the other two a miss and I'm sorry I didn't do the same for this one. In short, save yourself some time and find yourself something better.

No masterpiece but worth a watch.

[LLgoatJ · 8/10 · 3 December 2017]

The film is a murder mystery set on a coach heading to Blackpool Tower via murder places in a set of novels. It is no masterpiece but its a little bit better than your normal TV movie. Its funny in places. The murderer is not a great surprise (hint, as normal it is the one they writer wants you to least suspect) but there is a nice little twist to the murderers reasons.

This is nice and light. A bit of fun to watch with older family. Its inoffensive really. It is not the best film ever but its not the worst.

Murder on the Blackpool Express

[Prismark10 · 6/10 · 21 July 2023]

This is a spoof of comedy murder mysteries of yesteryear. The type that would have Frankie Howerd in an old dark mysterious house.

Coach driver Terry (Johnny Vegas) and tour guide Gemma (Sian Gibson) run a not very successful coach tour company.

Their latest wheeze is to get mystery writer David (Griff Rhys Jones) as a special guest. The coach will stop off at setting where many of his stories will be set. The final destination is Blackpool Tower.

David plans to wring every penny out of the participants in the coach tour. Unfortunately at each stop a passenger gets brutally murdered, usually mimicking the death in David's books.

Eventually Terry and Gemma decide to solve the mystery themselves before they lose any more passengers.

With some well known names ranging from Nigel Havers to Una Stubbs. The comedy is not that funny and the mystery part is a lot of silliness.

Mildly daft and enjoyable, the guest stars give it some gusto. The subsequent sequels were poor.

OTT acting

[jhmoondance · 2/10 · 26 August 2018]

Managed to watch 3/4 of this film but couldn't stomach anymore old fashioned clichés n double entendre.

Actors are brilliant in their own right n am a fan of them all but put together in this stupidly written film was a big mistake.

I was totally bored n the corners of my mouth never lifted once in a smile.

I thought it had the potential to be hilarious but sadly not.

Brilliantly warm, fun and funny

[loveagoodstory · 8/10 · 6 December 2017]

This is a good, solid light comedy and drama in the mould of an Agatha Christie-style one-by-one murder mystery, as you'd guess from the title. It's not trying to be big, loud or cutting but has much more of an 'ITV special' feel too it.

I do like my strong, punchy comedies and I also do like my highly enjoyable comedies. This is the latter and its seasoned cast do a beautiful job of delivering a strong script liberally scattered with witticisms and gags. I had a lot of fun watching it.

Ignore the negative comments. It's good !!!

[chloegalley · 6/10 · 29 July 2023]

Murder on the Blackpool Express is a 2017 comedy. Which was original on GOLD TV and now on BBC I PLAYER. The Draper's Tour Mysteries is a comedy drama television film series created and written by Jason Cook, and starring Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson as Terry Bremmer and Gemma Draper. My mum was the one who told me about this how silly it is and quite funny. So gave it a watch. The storyline is stupid and silly but very funny in places with a murder mystery. Johnny vegas and Sian Gibson are very good talented people. The television film has a lot of different stars in and all good in playing the parts. A very different drama to watch but it sure is funny. Very well directed and produced even though is bloody stupid well it was rather funny. There is 2 more television films after this one the second one is better well I think so. It's nice to watch a light hearted comedy as it's all doom and gloom on tv and it does make you laugh. So if you want something easy to watch with comedy then give this ago. Don't go by the negative comments it was surprisingly good.

Great cast, Damp Squib!

[omendata · 5/10 · 19 December 2021]

I do not watch many comedies especially American ones as I just don't find them funny and usually find UK comedies are more my bag but this is worse than those US shows.

With a pretty good cast, I was quite looking forward to this but my, oh my, what a terrible script.

Makes me long for the days of Carry On movies where humour was humour and it was not politically correct or full of diversity BS, it was just natural and funny. If this moronic entertainment is what UK comedy has come down to, then it truly is the last nail in the coffin for British humour!

Miss this bus!

[bob-1135 · 3/10 · 13 November 2017]

You wouldn't think it possible to assemble such a cast of wonderful actors, a good plot line and yet end up with a complete load of rubbish. When it should have the velocity of a runaway train this limped along like every single tyre on the coach was flat and they hadn't packed a spare. Nigel Havers character and his sidekick were completely unnecessary and added absolutely nothing to the storyline as evidenced by the fact he just dropped out halfway through. The shock horror moment at the end when the ashes were scattered fell completely flat as we all knew he had killed his wife as one of the women found the bullet in the ashes - but this was never spoken of again! This could have been so much more, but ended up being so much less!

First class travel

[Sleepin_Dragon · 9/10 · 13 November 2017]

A coach trip featuring crime writer David van der Clane is underway to Blackpool, run by Organiser Gemma, with driver Terry. A group of passengers assemble to stop at all the major plot points in David's novels, at each stop, murder, a passenger dies...

Writer Jason Cook i applaud you, firstly for writing a cracking plot, and bringing this project to life. The comedy whodunit seems to have totally died off, popular many years back, but surely still relevant today, considering almost every other show on the box is a Crime thriller.

What a first rate cast, everyone in it is superb, a tough call on who steals it, some would say Griff Rhys Jones, I'd go for Nigel Havers, who is utterly brilliant, such a charming man. Sheila Reid shows what a sport she is, that saucy maid's outfit, just wrong :-)

It's light and funny, the one off comedy drama seems to have vanished, and when something as good as this comes on I wonder why.

More productions like this please. 9/10

Not a good movie

[bozewoman78 · 2/10 · 23 January 2022]

The premise of this movie was good but fell flat. The plot is slow and highly predictable. Jokes are not funny at all. I wouldn't waste time on this one. Coarse humor that was unnecessary.

Good old fashioned entertainment

[branchytb · 9/10 · 18 December 2018]

Every one of the cast turns in a great performance. There is great chemistry between Johnny and Sean and the story is entertaining throughout. I didn't see the ending coming at all which is a huge bunus for a whodunnit.

Not

[supermellowcali · 3/10 · 15 February 2022]

Not funny nor exciting. Tired story elements without anything new. Apparent attempts at jokes are weak and elderly. Poor acting but, to be fair, a truly awful script they had to work with. Watch this only if you're having trouble sleeping.

A Big Zero

[JANMAYFEB1 · 1/10 · 24 February 2024]

Too bad there aren't allowances for zero stars. Bad acting and tasteless script. The movie is riddled with off color racial stereotypes and stereotypes regarding the aged. Pokes fun at mental deficiencies and religious artifacts. So surprised that in this age there are any writers with such a low level of taste and social awareness. This might have been an okay film without the blatantly offensive language and imagery. But it is hard to stomach. I usually try to watch a movie until the end. Didn't make it with this one. If you are looking for a clever, British film with a stimulating plot, this isn't it.

This is a Satire, so of course the acting is OTT

[petede · 8/10 · 14 April 2022]

I have not seen any other Agatha Christie satires, but I thoroughly enjoyed this. Sure, it's low budget. But, for what it is, these characters had me laughing hysterically! This film doesn't take itself too seriously and neither should you! Loved it, gonna find some more!

Shocking

[info-36545 · 1/10 · 17 November 2017]

Truly awful. I can't believe this was written by the creator of the rather funny 'Hebburn'. Some of the cast were well chosen and coped bravely with the puerile script, others were just wooden and uncomfortable. Havers was a gem. What a waste of Kevin Eldon, the best comic actor of his generation. Mark Heap...well, I don't deny he's a very funny man in the right context (Big Train, Spaced), but he's no actor. Vegas, as usual, is like a large blank space on the screen.

Funny and warm

[iancrockford-96309 · 9/10 · 22 October 2018]

This is a really fun tv film. Comical, well acted. Having been on some coach holidays really get the sense of reality here. The story is fun too. The passengers die off one by one is this who done it. A pleasant way to spend an hour or two.

Oh Dear...

[philptolomey · 2/10 · 15 July 2023]

I doubt anyone involved in this project will highlight their involvement on their CV. It's a shame that some involved are quite well known. I just hope they took an up front fee rather than a share in expected profits.

It was a promising concept let down by poor writing, even worse acting and lazy production. It does fit into the genre of off beat British low budget comedies, done far better by such films as Sightseers (2017) To be fair there were one or two good lines.."You can't waste champagne, it's like expensive Prosecco" springs to mind. The whole film follows an Agatha Christie style unveiling process, drawing out past experiences of those involved..not convincing.

I wouldn't say it was a waste of 90 minutes, maybe 50 or so.

Absolute Drivel

[mikelski-28577 · 1/10 · 22 April 2024]

I watched Sean Gibson in Car Share and she was excellent, as was the script. That's why I gave this one a go. After the first five minutes I could see where it was heading with the nonsensical characters and the extremely unfunny script. I wanted to turn it off but my wife wanted to give it a chance. I agreed, but only on the proviso that we must now watch it all the way through and no amount of pleading or begging to stop would be heeded. Suffice to say we were both ready to cut our own throats well before the end and are still traumatised a day later. I can't believe there are additional episodes of this garbage. How could someone at the BBC have read this script and not immediately thrown it in the bin?

Thoroughly Enjoyed

[ellenirishellen-62962 · 10/10 · 31 August 2018]

Great movie!Better than Murder On The Orient Express.Thought Kevin Eldon was from Hot Fuzz,another LOL to me.It was played seriously enough,all actors did a nice job.Saw it on DRAMA in UK this week,Bank Holiday Weekend.Will try to find on dvd.Loved when everyone got the smell of eggs on the coach,and the retribution.