Santa Clarita Diet (TV Series)
Going Pre-med (2018)
Timothy Olyphant: Joel Hammond
Photos
Quotes
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Joel Hammond : I just watched my wife do something, I've seen her do this thing before but, it's not something I ever get used to.
Gary West : Joel, I saw your gal eat her way into my stomach. You don't have to be coy.
Joel Hammond : She ripped two dudes' throats out of their necks like they were Twizzlers.
Gary West : Whoa... You can't unsee that.
Joel Hammond : Sheila gets this look in her eye. The next thing you know, she's yanking intestines out of these guys, like a magician pulling out scarves. The other day, I came home and my kitchen looked like someone shot a person out of a confetti gun. There was a dick in my fruit bowl. The next morning, I'm eatin' oatmeal at the same counter like my life is "Leave it, to fucking Beaver!"
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Joel Hammond : It's kind of ironic: the more care you put into a murder, the harsher society judges you.
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Gary West : Why do I have to move?
Joel Hammond : You'll be happier here. It's like having your own place!
Gary West : Yeah, sure. Is that what you told the BowFlex?
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Joel Hammond : I told you, you shouldn't be friends with a cop. It's too dangerous.
Sheila Hammond : Said by the man who was just wrapped in a warm embrace with a cop.
Joel Hammond : That's different. Anne is an intense and ambitious sheriff's deputy. Rick joined the Santa Monica Police so he could ride a horse on the beach.
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Rick : Hey, you wanna smoke a little? Get the creative juices going. It's been a while.
Joel Hammond : No, I gotta stay focused. If we get high, we'll just end up designing sneakers again.
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Sheila Hammond : Come on, these guys are Nazis, we still have the moral high ground.
Joel Hammond : What if one of the Nazis is in a wheelchair?
Sheila Hammond : God, I hope that's an oddly-timed philosophical question.
