Photos
Quotes
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Destiny : [cheer-conference] Are you guys gonna tell me what's going on, or do you expect me to guess?
Willow : What are we gonna do about being cheersmacked?
Destiny : [scoffs] Nothing. It was a prank. A practical joke. We can't take it seriously. People have probably already forgotten about it.
Roxanne : I don't think so.
Hannah : Mm-hmm. My IG followers are way down today. And people have always wanted my pics. I mean, especially since I've started taking butt selfies.
Destiny : Yeah, my followers were down too. But that happens, right?
Willow : No. It's because we're under a viral assault.
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Destiny : So what? A few teams challenged us. That happens, like, on a daily.
Willow : Uh, no, there are dozens.
Hannah : Yeah, we're cheer chum in the water, and there's a feeding frenzy.
Destiny : It's not that bad.
Willow : Don't act like you're not sweating through your sports bra over this. Destiny, we need to shake things up. Draw out our old routines and start fresh.
Destiny : Okay, first of all, I don't sweat, I glisten. And we're not gonna throw out all of our *winning* routines just because some team challenged us, Willow.
Willow : Look, we've been doing a version of the same stuff for years.
Destiny : I'm the one who led us to number one. So why would I want anything to change?
Willow : For starters, we lost four of our boys.
Destiny : What?
Willow : Destiny, we're sinking. And the boys are jumping ship.
Destiny : Like rats who will drown without me.
Willow : We're all gonna drown if we don't do something.
Destiny : It's simple! We'll replace the boys we lost.
Willow : The season's started. All the good ones are already taken.
Destiny : Who would turn down an opportunity to cheer with me? That's cheerdiculous.
Hannah : Why do we even need stinky groin-scratching, and not to mention... finger-slipping... boys?
Destiny : Let's not pretend Lesbionic Lisa and Big Tina hasn't slipped a digit or two.
[culprits smile]
Hannah : I lost my virginity that way.
Destiny : [perturbed by this:] Okay. We're not thinking about boys in the right way. We are the main outfits. The boys are just the accessories. They make us look better, like... glitter pom-poms or... metallic gloss. Could we stop talking about boys?
Willow : That's not the problem. We're doing the same old routines.
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Destiny : That's it. We're taking them down.
Willow : Wait. We're accepting the challenge? Did you not hear them? We're taking on the whole freaking cheer world.
Hannah : Yeah, that sounds like a lot to me. I mean, I've never even left the country. Well, except to go to Hawaii.
Roxanne : And we're not ready.
Destiny : So we'll fake it. Hannah, you do it all the time. You give the best facials on the squad.
Hannah : Well, yeah, Mom says it's good practice for when I get married.
Destiny : [ignores that] Okay, Willow, get your camera, we're going to the gym. I want you to film the best parts of our routine to post.
Willow : The new boys are still learning on the team.
Destiny : It's fifteen seconds. Who can't shine in fifteen seconds?
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Willow : I can't believe we're about to cheer in a parking lot.
Destiny : Look, I know this isn't perfect. But I'm not about to get humiliated twice in one day. So perform your little well-toned asses off.
Roxanne : Don't we always?
Hannah : We've got this, Destiny. We're champions, they're rookies.
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Willow : We need to step up our game.
Destiny : We need to start somewhere. So let's start with our basic routines.
Willow : All our routines are basic.
Destiny : Excuse me?
Willow : Nothing.
Destiny : Yeah, that's what I thought.
Willow : I just feel like we're doing this to win championships. To get the judges' approval, but not because we love it. That's all.
Destiny : Yeah, all I heard was "win championships." Let's take it from the top, everybody with music!