[first lines]
Triple H: [pressing the intercom on his desk] Bring him in-uh.
Brian Zane: [being dragged into Triple H's office by one of Triple H's bodyguards while wearing a hood with the WWE logo on it] Hey, what are you doing? Get your hands off me! Hey! C'mon! Wha-What are you doing, man? Hey, I'm a citizen, I have rights! C'mon!
[the bodyguard takes the hood off Zane after sitting him down]
Brian Zane: [temporarily blinded from the light after having the hood taken off until his sight readjusts and he sees Triple H] Oh... it's you.
Triple H: Glad you're here, Zane. It's time we finally had a chance to talk-uh.
Brian Zane: [struggling to untie his hands which are held together by zipcuffs] Why'd you bring me here? What's going on?
Triple H: [takes a sip of his bottle of water] You've been a busy boy these last couple of years, haven't you? Making fun of WWE. Making fun of wrestling. I can't you had the NERVE to say that Lita had a bad entrance theme!
Brian Zane: Yeah, you and the rest of the Internet, apparently.
Triple H: What was that?
Brian Zane: Nothing!
Triple H: We've blocked some of your more offensive videos in the past. But it's clear we're not getting through to you yet-uh.
Brian Zane: [looks at the bodyguard cracking his knuckles before turning back to Triple H] Oh my god! Are you gonna beat me up?
Triple H: No no no no. My plan, Zane, is to break your spirit. Break your will. I'm gonna make you review something that's so bad, so offensive, so catastrophic, that your mind will collapse in on itself! You'll have no choice but to give up this foolish endeavour of yours-uh.
Brian Zane: [scoffs] You can't scare me, Triple H. I've seen some shit! What could you possibly do that could break me?
[the bodyguard picks up an envelope off the table, pulls out a document, and gives it to Zane]
Brian Zane: [reading the document] Are you serious? This is something you guys did.
Triple H: I'm sure you'll have no problem tearing this apart like you do everything else-uh. But be careful; you might not like what you find when you dig deeper. Now get outta here. Go back to your home. I look forward to seeing this review. I'll be in touch-uh.
[the bodyguard cuts Zane free from his zipcuffs before taking him home]
Brian Zane: [sighing once he returns home] Well, here we are. I'm Brian Zane, and I'm here to review... the exploitation of the death of Eddie Guerrero.