The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Jack Black: Bowser
Photos
Quotes
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Bowser : What is your name?
Luigi : Luigi.
Bowser : Not sure if you know who I am, but I'm about to marry a princess and rule the world.
Luigi : [nervous] Wow, uh... yay.
Bowser : But, there's one problem, Luigi: There's a human traveling with my fiancée, has a mustache, just like you. Do you know him?
Luigi : No. No!
Bowser : Well, a tough one, I see. Maybe, this will get you to talk.
[begins to grab one of his mustache and Luigi whimpers]
Luigi : You think I know every human being with a mustache wearing an identical outfit with a hat with the letter of his first name on it? Because, I don't!
[Bowser plucks one of Luigi's mustache off and he screams]
Bowser : [grabs him and his mustache both, yells] Do you know him?
Luigi : Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Sometimes, I know him! Yes, I know him! He's my brother Mario, and he's the best guy in the world!
Bowser : Do princesses find him attractive?
Luigi : They do if they have good taste!
[Bowser pulls Luigi's mustache off, and he was screaming]
Bowser : Get him out of my sight!
[throws Luigi on the ground]
Bowser : We'll see how tough this Mario is, when he watches me kill his brother!
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Penguin King : [from teaser trailer] That is but a taste of our fury.
[glares]
Penguin King : Do you yield?
Bowser : [chuckles] I do not.
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Bowser : [singing] Peach. You're so cool. And with my star, we're gonna rule. Peach. Understand. I'm-onna love you till the very end! Peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches. Peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches, peaches. I love you! Oh!
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Princess Peach : You really thought I'd marry you?
Bowser : [shocked] Kinda!
Princess Peach : I'd NEVER marry a monster!
[powers up with an Ice Flower that Toad smuggled into her bouquet]
Bowser : [enraged] Then we are breaking up RIGHT NOW!
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[while Bowser and Kamek are playing the underground theme on piano]
Bowser : This uh, human. Where did he come from?
Kamek : We aren't sure.
Bowser : Does the princess like him?
Kamek : Sire, look in the mirror, you have nothing to worry about.
Bowser : I know that. I'm not threatened.
[Bowser angrily slams the piano cover on Kamek's fingers, causing him to scream in pain]
Bowser : Find out who he is, and what they're planning!
Kamek : I'm on it, sire. May I lift the cover now?
Bowser : [walks away] Not yet. Pain is the best teacher.
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Princess Peach : Mario! The Star!
Bowser : NO! THAT'S MINE!
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Bowser : [Bowser is still frozen and he wakes up and finds Mario and Peach reuniting as he grows anger and roars to break the ice and blows fire at the heroes] Launch the bomber bill and destroy the mushroom kingdom!
Princess Peach : [Everyone watches a big bomber bill go up and heads towards Mushroom Kingdom] No!
[Mario in his Tanooki suit flies away to distract the bomber bill and save Mushroom Kingdom]
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Bowser : [mid-credits scene; irate after a Toad Guard interrupts him singing "Peaches"] Hey! You can't treat me like this! Do you know who I am? I am Bow-
[sighs after the Toad Guard shuts the light off and closes the door]
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Bowser : [practicing his wedding proposal] Princess Peach... here we are. Hehe. I guess love really makes a guy come out of his shell.
[his Piranha Plant bouquet snaps, causing him to stomp on them. He has a small nervous laugh]
Bowser : Let's rule the world. Together. Forever. Will you marry me?
Kamek : [playing the role of Peach] Oh, yes!
[the Koopa General bursts in, clearing his throat]
Bowser , Kamek : [angrily] WHAT?
Koopa General : We have found the princess and the mustachioed human. He has defeated Donkey Kong and won the Kong Army.
Bowser : So like, Peach was super impressed?
Koopa General : It appears so, yes. They are heading towards their secret passage.
Bowser : Oh they think they can surprise me, huh? Two can play that game.
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[seething with rage over Mario reuniting with Luigi, Peach and Toad, Bowser uses his Fire Breath to free himself from the ice]
Bowser : [to his army] Launch the Bomber Bill and DESTROY THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!
