Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (TV Series)

Fitzherbert P.I. (2017)

Zachary Levi: Eugene

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eugene : [Working as a baker's assistant. To the baker:]  Well, you said bake the pie at 300 degrees for an hour, but I figured save time and do 600 degrees for a half hour. Math!

• Eugene : Guys, he's headed for the dock!

  Captain of the Guard : We'll handle this, Rider. And besides, he ran in the opposite direction, genius!

  Eugene : No one calls me genius and gets away with it!

• Eugene : [to the guys at Snuggly Duckling]  .

  [Scoffs] 

  Eugene : Can you believe that Cassandra? Two-bit hood? I mean, she acts like the only things I've ever been good at are lying, cheating, and stealing. Which, in fairness, I am very good at.

• Cassandra : You really think you have what it takes to be a guard?

  Eugene : Hmm, let me think.

  [Counts with his fingers] 

  Eugene : Superior athletic ability, razor-sharp acumen, impressive stature, making guards all around the world, including Corona, look like bozos for decades. Yeah, I think I can swing it.

  Cassandra : You wanna know what I think?

  Eugene : That I care what you think?

  [laughing] 

  Eugene : Let me save you the trouble. I don't!

  Cassandra : I bet you don't even make it through basic training.

  Eugene : [Scoffs]  Training? What, like school? I was great in school. Easiest three days of my life!

• Eugene : [Explaining to the Captain of the Guards how he suspected the fake The Giovanni]  See, I knew something was up when he cursed me out. His Italian was terrible.

  [laughing] 

  Eugene : Subject-verb agreement was way off. What? I speak Italian. They have stuff to steal in Italy, too, you know.

• Captain of the Guard : [to the cadets]  The rules are simple. Obstacle course... Whistle. Complete the course before the whistle blows. Is that clear?

  Eugene : [Just arriving]  Actually, sir, can you go through that one more time? It's just my brain is so used to tuning your voice out that I...

  Captain of the Guard : Line up, Rider. I can't believe you made it this far. But I'm glad you did.

  [Threatening voice] 

  Captain of the Guard : Because I made this course especially difficult

  [Gets closer to Eugene's face] 

  Captain of the Guard : just... for... you.

  Eugene : [Hugs him]  I'm touched.

• Eugene : No matter how hard I try on that final tomorrow, your dad will cook up some cheap shot to make sure I fail. He wants me out, end of story.

  Cassandra : You know, for someone who spent most of his life breaking the rules to get what he wants, you're having an awful lot of trouble dealing with someone who is breaking the rules to get what *he* wants.

• The Fake The Giovanni : [Strong Italian accent]  Heyyy, is about time!

  Rapunzel : Sorry, The Giovanni, I was, um...

  The Fake The Giovanni : The Giovanni, he doesn't care! Now, how you wanna look?

  Rapunzel : Oh, um, I thought that I would keep it simple.

  [chuckles] 

  The Fake The Giovanni : Huh? She gonna pose with nothing?

  [Slaps his forehead in exasperation] 

  The Fake The Giovanni : Uh, Santa Fria Hole, don't blame The Giovanni when the painting she's a no good.

  Rapunzel : Oh. Okay. I definitely won't.

  Eugene : [the Giovanni gets ready to put the first brushstroke on the canvas, when Eugene bursts open the door, startling him]  The Giovanni. Can I call you The? You're the best! Hey, Blondie, I see you went with the simple choice. Of *beautiful*.

  Rapunzel : Aw! Thank you. At least someone thinks so. Wait. What are you doing here? Cass said you had dungeon duty.

  Eugene : Oh, I do. The Cap told me to walk the block once every five minutes, but it just seemed like a waste standing there. So, I walked it twice in a row and now I can take a 10-minute break. Math.

• Eugene : [to the guards he is about to train]  Good afternoon, gentlemen, and welcome to "Thinking Like a Thief". I am your instructor, Eugene Fitzherbert. You may call me *Mr.* Fitzherbert. No, wait. Professor Fitzherbert. Let's add an "honorable" in there. The Honorable Professor Fitzherbert.

  [Beat] 

  Eugene : Esquire. Masks on.

  [He puts on a burglar's mask] 

  Shorty : [Shortly, who is dressed like a guard, sees him and is terrified]  Take the women and children! Don't hurt the money!

  [Throws his halberd and runs away screaming] 

• Eugene : [to Pascal]  Who knew having a job would be so much work?

  [sighs] 

  Eugene : I mean, what with all those rules and responsibilities... You should have heard some of these guys I worked for. It's like, "Hey, buddy, who died and made you boss?"

  [sighs] 

  Eugene : Maybe Cassandra was right. Ugh! Just saying those four words sent bile into my mouth, down the throat... Oh, that...

  [Shudders] 

  Eugene : Yuck! But it's true. Maybe the only thing I was meant to be was a...

  Additional Voices : [Heard shouting from the palace court]  Thief! Stop! Thief!

• Eugene : Cassandra? You believe me?

  Cassandra : You may be an arrogant, self-centered, inconsiderate...

  Shorty : Poorly dressed.

  Cassandra : ...bloviating, tremendous waste of space windbag...

  Eugene : Okay, okay, can we just cut to the "but" in this sentence?