- Eugene: [Walks into the Snuggly Duckling, where all the usual thugs are sitting around] Ahh! There they are! A veritable cornucopia of confidants, who trust me implicitly and would gladly divulge their innermost secrets.
- [He sees a new guy]
- Eugene: Wait, who is this guy?
- Attila: That's Hook Hand's brother.
- Eugene: Oh, yeah? What's your name? Hook Foot?
- [the man puts his left foot on the table, it's actually a hook]
- Eugene: I gotta admit, I did not see that coming.
- Eugene: [to Big Nose, who has just finished reading one of his weird poems] I gotta go. This has been great. You keep writin' those words down, 'cause one of these days... you'll have more of 'em.
- Rapunzel: [Theme song lyrics] I got the wind in my hair and a fire within / 'Cause there's something beginning / I got a mystery to solve and excitement to spare / Got a beautiful breeze blowing through / I'm ready to follow it who knows where / And I'll get there, I swear / With the wind in my hair
- Cassandra: Please, don't tell Eugene.
- Eugene: [Eugene is standing at the door] Tell Eugene what? Oh, come on, you guys keeping secrets?
- Rapunzel: It's not really a secret, Eugene, it's more like a... sensitive situation.
- Eugene: Sensit... S... Ha! Sensitive? And you think *Cassandra*'s gonna help? Blondie, I've met glaciers with more warmth and compassion. And move faster, she's slow.
- Varian: Hey! You're Flynn Rider!
- Eugene: No. You don't know what you're talking about. I've never seen you before in my life. You can't prove anything!
- Varian: [laughs nervously] I'm your biggest fan!
- [He draws a curtain, revealing posters and books about Flynn Rider]
- Varian: See?
- Eugene: [Eugene is now flattered] Hey, now! Flynn Rider, nice to be met.
- Cassandra: Rapunzel, I want to trust you, and I trust that you trust Eugene, but I don't trust Eugene, and if I can't trust Eugene, I can't trust you, and you're just going to have to trust me. Trust me, that logic tracks.
- Rapunzel: So, this is where Varian lives. It seems cozy, in a I-wish-I-had-said-goodbye- to-my-loved-ones- before-I-left kind of way.
- Eugene: [Debris is falling on them] Look out!
- [Grunts, trying to get Rapunzel free from her restraints]
- Rapunzel: No, there's no time! Get out of here!
- Eugene: I am not going anywhere without you. I love you, Rapunzel.
- Rapunzel: I love you, too. More than you will *ever* know.
- [Pascal squawks sadly and hides inside Rapunzel's hair. The debris keeps falling. Rapunzel and Eugene hug each other and the debris completely buries them. Cut to black]
- Eugene: [a burst of yellow light emanates from the debris, revealing an unhurt Rapunzel and Eugene, in an orbicular shield of hair] What the... *hair*?
- Eugene: Hey, are those flowers for Assunta? Am I pronouncing that correctly? How is your lady friend, anyway?
- Big Nose: Oh, I'm glad you asked, but perhaps this latest poem I wrote will tell you.
- [Hook Foot and Attila groan]
- Big Nose: I call it, "Can You Keep a Secret?"
- [Reads]
- Big Nose: "I Love You. Our love is like a timeless truth, it knows no tick nor tock. Our love..."
- [Hook Foot and Vladimir growl and look angrily at Eugene. Hook Foot puts his hook on Eugene's throat]
- Big Nose: "... is a big toe of honesty poking through the hole of your favorite... sock."