Lucifer (TV Series)
All Hands on Decker (2018)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Quotes
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Lucifer Morningstar : And then there's potential reason number 55 the detective would accept Pierce's proposal: drugs. EUI... Engaged Under the Influence.
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Lucifer Morningstar : The plan is simple. I'm going to try to understand why the detective would want to marry that overstuffed man ham, and then make her see she's deranged.
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Vincent Walker : I found out later he was a purebred Mastiff, so I started taking him to all the shows. He loves the shows.
Dan Espinoza : You're not in the competition database.
Lucifer Morningstar : Daniel, that's my line.
[to Frederick]
Lucifer Morningstar : You're not in the competition database.
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Lucifer Morningstar : A canine killer. Seems they can't trust you with a real homicide, Daniel.
Ella Lopez : Nope. The bitch is innocent.
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Dan Espinoza : What the hell, man? SWAT?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, well, this is when I normally get into a spot of danger, so I called in for backup like a responsible detective would.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [Trying to get Dan to be more like him] This is where I'd make a clever pun about the underdog.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Based on the security around that doorway over there, and the fact I've been here many times before, that is an illegal gambling den.
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Lucifer Morningstar : To truly go full Detective, I require a partner who's clever and unpredictable, handsome, sexual.
[Looks at Dan]
Lucifer Morningstar : Suppose one out of four will suffice. Well done, Daniel.
Dan Espinoza : Wow. Which one of the four am I?
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Dr. Valerie Haynes : I have more than I could ever want.
Lucifer Morningstar : Do you, now?
[to Dan]
Lucifer Morningstar : Watch and learn.
[Turns back to Dr. Haynes]
Lucifer Morningstar : Surely, there must be something that you desire.
Dr. Valerie Haynes : I... Mm. I'm... I'm really all good.
[This is a first]
Lucifer Morningstar : [Turns up the mojo] Come now, there's really nothing you want deep, deep down?
[Dr Haynes shrugs]
Meg Boyd : [Standing behind the doctor] I want the miracle of birth!
Lucifer Morningstar : Trying to solve a murder here, love, but I'm sure you can find someone to help you with that. Eventually.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [Trying to care for Cornelia, the dog] I mean, at least the detective's human dependent can be bribed with chocolate and cash. But apparently, chocolate's toxic for Ms. Picky here. And she ate my wallet.
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Dan Espinoza : What is that smell? And why is there... crime scene tape all around my desk?
Lucifer Morningstar : Because trust me, Daniel, Cornelia committed a very serious infraction over there.
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Lucifer Morningstar : I still don't think this is working.
Dan Espinoza : Agree.
Lucifer Morningstar : And I think it's my fault.
Dan Espinoza : Also agree.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Children are so needy... I mean, you wouldn't understand, but being a single parent is exhausting.
Dan Espinoza : Dude, it's been an hour.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, in dog years, that's an eternity.
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Lucifer Morningstar : He's weaseled his way into her heart, and I don't understand how, but I need to.
Amenadiel : Well, good luck. And I will come up with a plan that will *actually* work.
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Dan Espinoza : Only one of us can be detective.
Lucifer Morningstar : You're right.
Dan Espinoza : Yeah.
Lucifer Morningstar : - That is the perfect way to understand the detective. I'm gonna take the lead and *be* her.
[Leaves]
Dan Espinoza : ...That is not what I meant.