Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Cool World (2017)

Tamara Chambers: Julie Taymor

Quotes 

• Julie Taymor : You just don't understand, Critic. He's showing the anguish of our utilitarian world, colliding with the abstract of untapped potential.

  [pause] 

  Ralph Bakshi : With boobies!

• Nostalgia Critic : [seeing a woman appear beside Ralph Bakshi]  Where the hell did you come from? Follow-up question: who the hell are you?

  Julie Taymor : I'm Julie Taymor, director of countless Broadway hits and kind of good movies.

  Ralph Bakshi : She helped me escape!

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, okay. So... What the fuck do you mean "escape"?

  Julie Taymor : Oh, escape. Don't you know? We were in the Institute for the Artistically Insane.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh my God, I've heard of that. That's where artists go when their ideas stop obeying logic and reason.

  Julie Taymor : I don't know why I was there. Having Bono do "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" killed!

  Nostalgia Critic : Literally. It literally killed.

  Julie Taymor : Hey, you can't make an omelet without breaking some heads, yo.

• Spike Lee : [appearing beside Ralph Bakshi and Julie Taymor]  You just don't get us, Critic.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, God, Spike Lee!

  Spike Lee : [about the Institute for the Artistically Insane]  Can you believe they put me in there, after I directed 65 projects and at least one-third of them was watchable?

  Ralph Bakshi : That's why I love you guys. You understand me! And the struggle! Which is real!

  Spike Lee : His work is about the oppression of blacks against whites, as told through an animated backdrop of color and no color. Right?

  Ralph Bakshi : Yeah! With boobies!

  Nostalgia Critic : Well, at least nobody else escaped.

  Julie Taymor : Oh, well, there was that one guy who almost got away, but they caught him just in time.

  [at the Institute, M. Night Shymalan is being imprisoned] 

  Shyamalan : But I had two hit movies, back to back!

  Woody Allen : [revealed to be Shymalan's cellmate]  Don't worry about it. Just get yourself nominated for another Oscar, and they'll forget about all the horrible things you've done.

• Nostalgia Critic : Okay, Ralph, they start off talking about this spike that's used to teleport people in between worlds. Yet it's never used again in any of these other teleportations. It just seems to happen whenever they want. And sometimes even when they don't want! How do you explain that?

  Ralph Bakshi : Oh, I don't know.

  Nostalgia Critic : [incredulously]  WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW? I thought you wrote the script!

  Ralph Bakshi : Well, the original script, yeah. You see, I sold Paramount a hard "R" animated horror film mixed with live action, because that kind of genre had never been done before. But on the first day of shooting, I was given a completely different script that was written in secret by two other writers. So, literally from day one, I didn't know what I was doing, because the movie I wrote wasn't the movie I fucking wrote!

  Nostalgia Critic : Holy smokes, no wonder so much of this doesn't make any sense.

  Julie Taymor : It actually happens more than you know.

  Spike Lee : Yeah, producers change everything, and we get all the blame.

  Nostalgia Critic : [sighs]  When will people learn that the vision of the artist is all you need to make something brilliant?