The Magicians (TV Series)

Ramifications (2017)

Jason Ralph: Quentin Coldwater

Photos 

Quotes 

• Quentin Coldwater : Is that?

  Nigel : A screenplay for the failed 1983 feature film adaptation.

  Eliot Waugh : There was a "Fillory" movie?

  Quentin Coldwater : No, the studio wouldn't pay for the talking bears, so the director, he quit in protest. Can I?

  Nigel : Yeah.

  [Quentin opens the script] 

  Quentin Coldwater : ...Wait, they changed the Chatwins into-...

  Nigel : Skateboarding Americans. I know, a travesty. And they got Jane completely wrong.

• Nigel : What is it that you enjoy about Fillory?

  Quentin Coldwater : Uh, it reminds me of a time before I realized how shitty being an adult is.

  Eliot Waugh : And there's opium in the air.

  Nigel : And how do you feel about turtles?

  Eliot Waugh : Indifferent, I guess.

  Quentin Coldwater : Not a fan.

  Nigel : Would you sleep easier knowing that your entire world rested on the back of one or several?

• Eliot Waugh : I have a kingdom to fix.

  Nigel : [laughs]  You were never meant to fix Fillory.

  Eliot Waugh : Of course I was.

  Nigel : No, you were meant to entertain like some reality TV star. Oh, Ember must've found you so boring.

  Eliot Waugh : Boring?

  Nigel : Fillory was created out of the unification of opposites. Ember is a creature of entropy and chaos...

  Quentin Coldwater : And you have every season of "Law & Order" on DVD.

  Nigel : The most perfect show in creation. When Ember and I were together, there was balance. Without me, chaos reigns. Give up, Children of Earth. Fillory cannot be ruled.

• Nigel : It pains me, but I simply cannot go back to Fillory.

  Quentin Coldwater : So you're just gonna let Ember turn Fillory into a telenovela?

  Nigel : Well, you don't understand how he is. He pitted animals against each other by offering only the sexiest the ability to speak. Centaurs? Drunk off his chair, obviously. When he gets snacky, he talks about turning humans into rats.

  Eliot Waugh : Holy shit. Ember turned everybody into rats.

  Nigel : Oh, he finally did it. That's been on his bucket list for centuries

• Quentin Coldwater : [to Alice]  I'm sorry I hurt you. I tried to do the right thing. But I'm not sorry that you're alive, and maybe that makes me selfish, but I - -

  [pause] 

  Quentin Coldwater : The world's a better place when you're in it. Say the word, and I'll stay. If you want me to leave you alone for a while and figure this out on your own, I mean, let's face it. There's probably nothing that you can't figure out. You are Alice Quinn.

• Quentin Coldwater : How are you here?

  Eliot Waugh : I think, and by that, I mean I'm absolutely certain, that I was banished. Had to be. So in the books, Ember and Umber; before Martin offed him; they did this to the Chatwins all the time, right?

  Quentin Coldwater : Mm-hmm, um, yeah. When their adventure is done, or...

  Eliot Waugh : Or, what, Q? My pregnant wife is locked up in Fairy Gitmo. I'm betrothed to a rat. My Pinot Noir grapes are nearly ripe. My adventure's just begun.

• Eliot Waugh : Okay, so the plan so far is, find a way to stay in Fillory and never get banished again. Find a way to stop Ember or drive him out or, I don't know, anything but letting him get so bored he decides to just shake the Etch A Sketch and end our kingdom, everyone I care about, and the Well Spring in the process. So, thoughts?

  Quentin Coldwater : You're talking about conquering Fillory.

  Eliot Waugh : For its own good.

  Quentin Coldwater : Your plan is the exact same as The Beast's was.

  Eliot Waugh : Shit.

  [sighs] 

  Eliot Waugh : Do you got a better idea?

• Mayakovsky : No one has ever brought niffin back to life. Many try, but all blaaagh

  [Makes various gagging noises] 

  Quentin Coldwater : We have something that no one else has ever had. We have Alice's shade. The meta-math has never added up before, but with this...

  Mayakovsky : Still tremendously bad idea.

  Julia Wicker : Fine, fuck him. He won't help us. We'll take it to Dean Fogg.

  Mayakovsky : With one morning fart, I release more magic than Henry Fogg has in his whole life.

• Quentin Coldwater : You are a *god* of Fillory. Why are you just sitting here and letting your brother shit all over it? You let The Beast happen. You shut out a child who needed shelter, and when he became a monster, you ran. You hate chaos? Then *fix* the chaos that you created.

  Nigel : You're right. But some mistakes cannot be repaired. And from those, we must move forward. And I shall try to avoid repeating such mistakes in my new world.