Real Time with Bill Maher (TV Series)
Episode #14.33 (2016)
Angela Rye: Self - Panelist
Photos
Quotes
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Bill Maher - Host : It's interesting that, uh... five, that I count so far, *very* conservative newspapers who have not supported, endorsed a Democrat for a long time - the Arizona Republic since 1896, Cincinnati Enquirer, 1916, Dallas Morning News, 1940, the Houston Chronicle, the San Diego Union Tribute - never support the Democrat. They are doing it.
[applause]
Bill Maher - Host : Magazines. Uh... USA Today.
Herself - Guest : Yeah.
Bill Maher - Host : Has never endorsed; they still don't. But they said "don't vote for this one."
Herself - Guest : Right.
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... and then magazines. Rolling Stone, the Advocate, Wired have come out for Hillary.
Himself - Guest : Wow, Rolling Stone. Who would have ever thought that?
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Bill Maher - Host : There are some lesser-known magazines that have come out for Donald Trump. Would you like to see?
[audience applause]
Bill Maher - Host : These are some lesser-known. Lesser-known. Uh, for example, for Donald Trump, "Car and Liar".
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... they say "Mr. Trump owns lots of cars and he lies his ass off. What's not to like?".
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... "Unpopular Science" is for Donald Trump.
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... they rave "You can make up practically anything about climate change and this shithead will retweet it."
Herself - Guest : Absolutely. Absolutely.
Bill Maher - Host : "Trump is the obvious choice." Uh... "Whine Aficionado".
[laughter]
Herself - Guest : I love that. That's my favorite.
Bill Maher - Host : They say "You don't see this many bitches at the dog show."
[groans and laughter]
Herself - Guest : Oh, my god.
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... "American Sociopath".
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... their endorsement reads "While we can't sense or process normal human emotion"...
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : ..."something about this Trump family just feels right."
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Bill Maher - Host : Uh... "Good Housekeeper" magazine.
[laughter]
Herself - Guest : Ohhh. Oh, no.
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... "We heartily endorse Senor Trump, because if we don't, he'll have us deported."
Herself - Guest : [laughing] Oh, no.
Bill Maher - Host : Um... "Modern Mail Order Bride" magazine.
[laughter]
Herself - Guest : Ooh. Ouch. Ouch.
Bill Maher - Host : They say "We've done business with this man and the check clears."
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : Uh... this magazine translates as "Highlights for Child Laborers".
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : And they say "We support the orange American whose..."
[laughter, as he snickers to himself]
Bill Maher - Host : "... whose name we sew on the neckties."
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : And, uh... finally. Uh... "Ferret Fancy" magazines says...
[laughter]
Bill Maher - Host : ..."What's in his head doesn't make him one of us, but what's on his head most certainly does."