- Christy Plunkett: What happened to your roommate, what's her name, Sara? You loved her.
- Violet Plunkett: Sara's a bitch.
- Paul: [walks by, sick] Hey.
- Violet Plunkett: Hey Paul.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Who's that?
- Violet Plunkett: Paul, Sara's boyfriend.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Does Paul have mono too?
- Violet Plunkett: I don't know, I'm not a doctor.
- Bonnie Plunkett: I think we know now why Sara's a bitch.
- Bonnie Plunkett: [sees Christy in a red dress and stripper heels] Wow, somebody thinks they're having sex tonight.
- Christy Plunkett: I better be having sex tonight. It's been 14 long months, I think I'm a virgin again.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Have you taken care of business down there?
- Christy Plunkett: Are you kidding? I'm waxed like a ballroom dance floor.
- Bonnie Plunkett: You were sick all the time as a kid and I never worried, I just turned on 'I Love Lucy' and poured you a large glass of Tang.
- Christy Plunkett: That's why to this day I buy my underwear at Children's Gap.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Don't pin that on me your father was a lawn dwarf.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Wow, you just passed a Maserati.
- Christy Plunkett: Just a rich douchebag who doesn't know how to drive.
- Bonnie Plunkett: Still, you might want to slow down a little.
- Christy Plunkett: I can't. My baby's sick.
- Bonnie Plunkett: She just has mono.
- Christy Plunkett: That's all she was willing to admit to on the phone. We'll probably get there and find out she has ebola!
- Bonnie Plunkett: Well, if so there's no need to hurry, by the time we get there she'll be 90 pounds of soup.
- Bonnie Plunkett: I'll give you three guesses where she got the money.
- Christy Plunkett: Oh God... is she a hoo... hoo... escort?
- Bonnie Plunkett: Good guess, but no, you have two guesses left.
- Christy Plunkett: Ugh, is she making po... po... adult films?
- Bonnie Plunkett: Nope, one more guess.
- Christy Plunkett: Is she selling drugs?
- Bonnie Plunkett: Please, she's pretty, not smart.