- Randall: [to Kevin about his statement that he is a whore to the network] Mom and Dad didn't raise no whores... except briefly during Kate's eyeliner phase.
- Kate Pearson: How are you losing weight and I'm not?
- Toby Damon: Can I be honest with you?
- Kate Pearson: Yeah, please.
- Toby Damon: I think I'm just taking this more seriously than you are.
- Jack Pearson: You want me to show you where my mouth is?
- Rebecca Pearson: No. I know where it is.
- Jack Pearson: OK. Good.
- William Hill: Hey, I'm sorry. I know they're too young to talk about cocaine.
- Beth Pearson: I feel like six is a fair young for cocaine.
- Randall: Yeah, but seven. We'll let them try it at seven.