Johnny Carson: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : Baseball fans in California are a little more laid-back. Now, today at Dodger Stadium, there was a umpire who made a bad call, and was pelted with granola and bean sprouts.

• Johnny Carson : [reading question from woman in audience]  "How would you like to come to my place for dinner tonight?" Now, you see, I mentioned before - I'm a happily married man... but I *will* bring dessert.

• Charles Grodin : If you wanted to check whether the impotence was based on - am I fired?

  Johnny Carson : No, no.

  Charles Grodin : I mean, if you wanted to check whether this - thing was based on physical or psychological reasons. What you do is you take - a couple of, uh - this is all medical stuff we're doing; and this is what the doctor said.

  Johnny Carson : Right.

  Charles Grodin : You take a couple of, uh - or however many you might need - postage stamps, when you go to sleep, and in the morning, when you wake up, if those postage stamps are...

  Johnny Carson : Cancelled?