- David Brenner: Poor Miami, right? You been there? Looks like a place where old Jewish women go to have Cuban children.
- David Brenner: Can I tell you something? I have to be the only person in this country, and I expect soon the world, now remember, we're friends... who didn't like the movie "E.T."
- [mixed reaction from audience]
- Johnny Carson: You see? Right a...
- David Brenner: I mean it. A matter of fact, I hated the little nerd, if you wanna know the truth. I mean, come on, it's so ugly. It looked like Marty Feldman had an affair with a lizard.