Himself - Host: New rule: now that the Trump phenomenon seems to have peaked, Americans must ask themselves: why? Why, for so long, was there one set of rules for everyone who's ever run for president, and then suddenly, a completely new set for this Donald Trump person? Because when it comes to lowering the bar, he really raised the bar.
[audience laughter and applause]
Himself - Host: So... it's been a year and a day since Donald Trump descended on an escalator to announce he was running for president, and since then he's just kept on descending.
[laughter]
Himself - Host: So let me take you back in time to the pre-Trump era and show you what people used to think was a monstrous political gaffe. Here's Al Gore and Bush the first, each doing something at a debate that the country found to be beyond the pale.
[footage of said debates]
Himself - Host: Shocking, isn't it?
[laughter]
Himself - Host: Sighing and looking at your watch? To show such blatant disrespect for our sacred democracy. Then there's this guy at a debate bragging about his dick.
[footage of Trump]
Himself - Host: What if Bush had done that? "Read my lips: six and a half inches." Or take the sensitive issue of race. There was a firestorm back in '92 when Ross Perot said to a black audience...
[footage of Perot]
Himself - Host: [feigning offense] "Oh, my god! He said 'you people'! Smother him with the AIDS quilt!" George Allen was a rising star in 2006 and then his career was over when he said...
[footage of Allen]
Himself - Host: Did you hear it? Did you hear it, everybody? He said "macaca", whatever the fuck that is. Trump tweets more racist shit than that before lunch! He retweets white supremecists. He began his campaign by calling an entire minority group rapists. He says our black president faked his birth and might be working with ISIS. He did this.
[footage of Trump at rally saying "look at my African American"]
Himself - Host: That's not worse than "you people"?