- Sherlock Holmes: Mr. Gardner, you wound me! I asked your secretary to tell you I'm here, and the next thing I know you're on the roof. It's hard not to take that personally.
- Nathan Resor: I can't throw out garbage now?
- Sherlock Holmes: No, on the contrary, I encourage it. You'd be amazed what turns up in the rubbish. I once found the testicles of an illegally poached Asian black bear in the bins of an English member of Parliament. He believed them to possess certain curative powers.
- Nathan Resor: If that's why you're back, let me save you the trouble. There aren't any testicles in my garbage, black bear or otherwise.
- Sherlock Holmes: This is your third career. You stopped being a surgeon for personal reasons. You stopped being a sober companion, because something better came along. It just seemed a prudent time to ask whether your wanderlust has subsided.
- Dr. Joan Watson: As a matter of fact, you're right. Life is short. I haven't been a construction worker yet. Or a biker. Indian chief.
- Sherlock Holmes: You think I don't get the Village People reference, but I do.
- Nathan Resor: I understand I can't instantly recall memories from half a decade ago. Where were you, Tuesday April 2, 2010, 10:40 in the morning?
- Sherlock Holmes: I was at the Whitechapel Gallery in London at an exhibition of neoimpressionist painting. Four minutes later, I used the facilities.