Veep (TV Series)

Thanksgiving (2016)

Timothy Simons: Jonah Ryan

Quotes 

• Jeff Kane : This is just for one term here, Jonah. You're merely acting as a placeholder for Ezra.

  Jonah Ryan : Once I'm in, I'm in. I went to the White House on a three-week placement. I'm a MRSA infection. You don't get rid of Jonah Ryan.

  Jeff Kane : Listen to me, all right? I'm not asking you, I am telling you.

  Jonah Ryan : Yeah, but it's not my fault if Cousin Lezra ends up eating my nut dust and becoming the goofy Paul Simon to my angelic-voiced Art Garfunkel.

  Jeff Kane : Can I talk to you down here just a minute?

  Jonah Ryan : [leaning forward]  Yeah.

  Jeff Kane : Now listen to me, you walking trisomy. I could get dog shit in a condom elected in New Hampshire. You are my puppet. I'd let you dance. And when I stuff you back in the toy box to let Ezra lead, you will be grateful I ever let your wooden painted face take the stage. Now, do you or do you not understand me?

  Jonah Ryan : Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.

• Jonah Ryan : Ain't a challenge been invented Jonah Ryan can't do.

  Richard Splett : Ice bucket challenge. You backed out of that.

  Jonah Ryan : Ice bucket challenge can suck my dick.

  Richard Splett : Well, it did raise a lot of awareness for whatever ALS is.

• Jonah Ryan : Dear Lord who guides me and nourishes me, I set foot on this path that you have laid before me with a strong arm and a willing heart to totally rock this shit. Amen. The Jonah Ryan Story, chapter five: "The House Kneels Before the Fucking J-man." I'm running for Congress!