The Color of Magic (TV Mini Series)

Part 2: The Light Fantastic (2008)

Sean Astin: Twoflower

Quotes 

• Twoflower : I've never been at Death's door before!

  [Rincewind punches him] 

• [Rincewind is wandering through the Forest of Skund, alone. He hears Twoflower's voice] 

  Twoflower : Rincewind!

  Rincewind : [thinking Twoflower is only a voice in his head]  Go away! Go away!

  Twoflower : Rincewind!

  [Rincewind frantically covers his ears] 

  Rincewind : I'm not listening! I'm not listening!

  Twoflower : Rincewind! It's me, Twoflower!

  Rincewind : He's dead! And he's inside my head! Why me? Why me? Why?

  [He looks up and sees Twoflower stuck up in a tree, waving cheerfully. His dread turns to indignation] 

  Rincewind : Twoflower?

  Twoflower : Isn't an amazing thing that we ended up back on the world?

  Rincewind : [annoyed]  I must have done something really bad to have got stuck with you.

• [Rincewind and Twoflower are watching a druidic ceremony and see a young woman walking towards a large stone slab] 

  Twoflower : Is she a druidess?

  Rincewind : I don't think so.

  [His eyes narrow. He has an idea, and he smiles cunningly] 

  Rincewind : Look, you're not going to like this next bit, I promise you.

  Twoflower : I want to stay. Ceremonies like this hark back to primitive simplicity, which...

  Rincewind : If you must know, they're going to sacrifice her.

  [the young woman lies on the stone slab] 

  Twoflower : [astonished]  What, kill her?

  Rincewind : Well, it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice if they didn't, would it?

  Twoflower : Couldn't they just use flowers and berries and things? Sort of symbolic?

  Rincewind : Look, no self-respecting high priest is going to go through all the business of trumpets and processions and then shove his knife in a daffodil and a couple of plums, is he?

• Rincewind : If that star is an omen, it looks like we're all going to die.

  Twoflower : We should name it now, then.

  [Rincewind shrugs in resignation] 

  Rincewind : Might as well.

  Twoflower : How about the Death Star?

  [Rincewind looks at Twoflower like he's an idiot] 

  Rincewind : Well, don't be daft! What sort of a name is that? The Death Star!

• [From a deleted scene; Rincewind whispers something into Cohen's ear. Cohen nods, and starts the ferry. He then walks over to Twoflower, who is standing on the bank of the River Snarl, and waves to him with fastidious amiability] 

  Rincewind : See you, then!

  [Twoflower looks up from the Luggage and seeing the ferry drifting away from the dock] 

  Twoflower : Where are you going?

  Rincewind : To Ankh-Morpork. But you don't want to go there. You'll be much better at Bel-Shamharoth. Anyway, following me only guarantees the risk of death. Or was it following you? I can't remember.

  Twoflower : But someone's keeping you alive!

  Rincewind : [confidently]  Yes, I know. It's the spell.

  Twoflower : Really?

  Rincewind : Yeah. Wants to go back to Ankh-Morpork.

  Twoflower : And why's that?

  Rincewind : [casually]  Well, it wants to be said at the right time. To, uh, save the world? You know, that sort of stuff?

  Twoflower : You don't say?

  Rincewind : I just want to get rid of the bloody thing out of my head, but, uh, someone has to do the right thing.

  Twoflower : Doing your heroic duty!

  Rincewind : Yes. I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I thought, "Oh, he's been there, done that, got the bloodstained breastplate."

  Twoflower : What, a real adventure? In Ankh-Morpork! Famed...

  Rincewind : [interrupting Twoflower]  Famed in verse and song! Yes, that's the one.

  Twoflower : I thought we burned it all down?

  Rincewind : [haughtily]  No, only the poor parts.

  Twoflower : Oh.

  Rincewind : Uh, do you want to come along with?

  Twoflower : [smiling]  I wouldn't miss it for the world.

  Rincewind : Huh.

  [He waves casually, then saunters over to Cohen and pats him on the back, muttering to him] 

  Rincewind : Okay, we've got him, go get him back.

  [He waves again to Twoflower with a smile] 

  Rincewind : Be right with you.