- Mike McLintock: Oh, no breakfast for this guy.
- Ben Cafferty: Who's offering?
- Mike McLintock: You are looking at a guy on the Master Cleanse.
- [Holds up water bottle]
- Mike McLintock: I feel amazing.
- Ben Cafferty: What in the lunatic fuck is the "Master Cleanse"? Sounds like Nazi domestic policy.
- Kent Davison: Little known fact about the Nazis. Their polling numbers within Germany: through the roof. Unbelievable numbers. Though, also tragic.
- Ben Cafferty: The Jewish demo couldn't have been that good.
- Mike McLintock: Yep, I don't need food anymore. Just water, maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper.
- Ben Cafferty: Do you still take shits?
- Mike McLintock: Not exactly "take"...
- Bob Bradley: [Running into Sue, who looks at him quizzically] Oh, good old Sue, you're still here! My, oh, my.
- Kent Davison: [to Ben] Still here? He hasn't worked in the White House since the late '80s.
- Ben Cafferty: Yeah.
- Kent Davison: How old is Sue...?
- Mike McLintock: [Mike appears] Huh?
- Amy Brookheimer: [Ballot papers are being rechecked and Roger Furlong has joined the team] That is not an overvote, the voter crossed out O'Brien's name and voter for Meyer! That is a vote for Meyer!
- Tracy: Move to rule it an overvote.
- Roger Furlong: [to Tracy] Hey, Grimace. What are you -
- [She looks behind her]
- Roger Furlong: No, no, no, not you, the other person in the room who looks exactly like Grimace. That is not an overvote! You need to trust me on this, because I've been doing this since before your mother was throwing herself down the stairs belly-first. You want me to get you some glasses? Maybe I'll call in Mayor McCheese, he can come in here and explain election procedures to you?
- [She starts to quietly sob]
- Roger Furlong: Oh, I'm not...
- Ballot Counter: [Rubbing Tracy's shoulder] Tracy...
- Roger Furlong: Look, it's - You're wearing purple, all right, it's got nothing to do with your body shape or your... the way your head goes into your shoulders so smoothly...
- Will: [Intervening] Hey, you know, we have... we have to get to your next meeting... at the, uh... we gotta get to the...
- Roger Furlong: That's right. Good call.
- [to the woman]
- Roger Furlong: God bless you. God bless America.
- Amy Brookheimer: When you're ready, we would like to vigorously contest your ruling.
- Kent Davison: [Kent is trying to figure out how old Sue is] So, uh, you catch The Godfather on TV last night?
- Sue Wilson: No.
- Kent Davison: There was nothing like seeing it in the theater when it first came out. Back in '72.
- Sue Wilson: I don't care for movies.
- [Dejected, he leaves]
- Selina Meyer: Hey, I'm going to be president so I can go take a shit in the Rose Garden if I want to.
- Ben Cafferty: We used to call that a Jimmy Carter.