- Happy Quinn: [while looking at a picture of Toby in college] Wow, you used to be cute! What happened?
- Katherine Cooper: [the team is dressed up for their undercover assignment] So Paige, what you think?
- Paige Dineen: Now I know why you guys had such a hard time in college.
- Cabe Gallo: [Training Sylvester to wrestle] Down on all fours!
- Sylvester Dodd: Nothing good has ever started with that sentence.
- Toby Curtis: Now you can get out of that suit and pee, buddy.
- Sylvester Dodd: Actually, I don't have to anymore.
- Happy Quinn: Ew.
- Ray Spiewack: [Whispering in Paige's ear] You know how he feels about you. You need to go to him. He's not able to do it on his own.
- Quincy Berkstead: You want analysis? You're the reason Amy left you. You spent most nights at card tables. You missed her birthday because you were at the track. You blew through *both* your savings. You're an egomaniac and a narcissist. And after all these years, the only person you blame... is me.
- Cabe Gallo: [to Toby] If I've got to be a rent-a-cop and Sylvester's got to get the crap beat out of him.
- Sylvester Dodd: WHAT?
- Cabe Gallo: Then you have to man up and get the job done!
- Walter O'Brien: No. I was talking to myself, not you guys.
- [pause as students look shocked]
- Walter O'Brien: What?
- Drama Student #2: You referred to us as 'guys'. I'm a woman.
- Drama Student #1: It's just a mistake your generation sometimes makes. Defining with gender-dominant labels.
- Walter O'Brien: I made a mistake?
- Paige Dineen: Walter, these are drama students. They are nothing but EQ, and their PC is all about sensitivity, so be patient with them.
- Walter O'Brien: No, I wasn't mistaken. Webster's Dictionary states that 'guys' may be used in plural to refer to members of a group regardless of sex. More than two is a group.
- Paige Dineen: Stop debating. Get near them. Let your scanner do its thing.
- Drama Student #2: Your term choice is a microaggression.
- Walter O'Brien: Well, if it's micro, why is it a problem?
- Paige Dineen: Walter, there's nothing coming over your scanner. The device isn't there. You can stop fighting with the students and leave.
- Walter O'Brien: Okay. Time for me to go.
- Drama Student #2: Good. And take your trigger words with you.
- Walter O'Brien: You know what? As your teacher, let me leave you with some guidance. You're spoiled, coddled and wasting your time. Study science, math, go to vocational school or learn a trade, because statistically you have less than a 0.01 chance of making it as an actor, and based on what I've seen today, it's even less than that.
- [pause as students gape]
- Walter O'Brien: Okay, have a good day.