- Sean O'Brien: We find out from a call that our little girl has gotten hitched to someone who plays with toys. Who the Hell are you?
- Sylvester Dodd: I'm Sylvester.
- Sean O'Brien: What kind of man are you?
- Sylvester Dodd: The kind whose been caring for your daughter. The kind that hasn't left her side in three weeks. The kind that loves her. So you'll just have to accept that.
- [Sylvester accidentally sits on Super Fun Guy figure]
- Super Fun Guy Toy: My Whoopie Cushion of Doom will blast you to atoms.
- Walter O'Brien: Happy, you were picked for a reason. You're supposed to be a reckless driver.
- Happy Quinn: I'm driving as recklessly as I can.
- Walter O'Brien: Megan's dying and I'm stuck down here. She's the only family I have.
- Paige Dineen: You have two parents a few floors above you.
- Walter O'Brien: The only way I could ever talk to my parents was through her. She's the only one who understands me for what I am. She's the most important person that I have ever had in my life.