Murdoch Mysteries (TV Series)
Marked Twain (2015)
William Shatner: Mark Twain
Photos
Quotes
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Constable Henry Higgins : You can have Hendrickson; he lives almost ten miles out of town
Constable George Crabtree : Oh, I'm aware of that.
Constable Henry Higgins : Then why would you volunteer?
Constable George Crabtree : Because he lives right next to Mrs. Hempshire's Finishing School.
Constable Henry Higgins : Mary Lawrence went there.
Constable George Crabtree : Did she?
Constable Henry Higgins : For a time. She left; she said the women there were of easy virtue.
Constable George Crabtree : Oh, indeed? And if I recall correctly, today's laundry day. I remember once Jackson and I had to reprimand a couple of them for wandering around in their unmentionables.
Constable Henry Higgins : Did you?
Constable George Crabtree : Yes, and they were from France. The, the unmentionables, Parisian undergarments.
Constable Henry Higgins : Well, allow me to save you the trip.
Constable George Crabtree : Hmh?
Constable Henry Higgins : I could use a brisk bicycle ride.
[Higgins leaves]
Mark Twain : It's a shame... you don't have a fence that needs paintin'.
Constable George Crabtree : That was last summer, sir.
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Mark Twain : Given my points of view, it's somewhat of a surprise that, uh, someone hasn't shot at me before.
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[last lines]
Mark Twain : Constable Crabtree, you strike me as a man with a nimble mind.
Constable George Crabtree : Well, thank you, sir.
Mark Twain : [holding book 'The Curse of the Pharoah'] This work of yours shows some, some promise.
Constable George Crabtree : You read it?
Mark Twain : I started it. Got any more in you?
Constable George Crabtree : I don't know; I haven't much felt like writing lately.
Mark Twain : Ohhh, spent some time in the penitentiary, lost a, a fiancée.
Constable George Crabtree : Indeed.
Mark Twain : Take it from me, son, reality can be beaten with enough imagination. Go to it.
Constable George Crabtree : Thank you, Mr. Twain.
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[Twain has just been shot at, shattering a carafe of whiskey]
Detective William Murdoch : Mr. Twain, are you all right?
Mark Twain : I believe I'll need another drink.