- [to Owen Grady, also voiced by Chris Pratt]
- Emmet Brickowoski: There's something AWFULLY familiar about you, mister dino-wrangler man... I feel like we've met before?
- Emmet Brickowoski: Hey - you seem familiar, have we met?
- Owen Grady: I dunno, did you work on the park?
- Space Core: Spaaaaaaace! Spaaaaaaace! Spaaaaaaace? Space. Spaaaaaaace.
- Wheatley: Ugh, that guy is really annoying. I mean honestly, you wouldn't believe how annoying he is. Very annoying.
- [He begins repeating "annoying" over and over]
- Wheatley: And I just, I can't even be bothered. I'll explain what I mean later, but he's... He's annoying. Annoying. Annoying...
- [He's hit by Chell's hand]
- [to Gamer Kid]
- Marty McFly: If you're into retro stuff, we should take a quick drive in Doc's DeLorean!
- Homer Simpson: Okay, retrace your steps. Woke up, fought with Marge, ate Guatemalan insanity peppers, then I... oh.
- [to Chell]
- GLaDOS: Well, well, well, look who's back. You must love science almost as much as me. Which is good news because I've almost finished rebuilding the test chambers after Wheatley's incompetence.
- [Wheatley appears]
- Wheatley: Hello? Did somebody say my name?
- GLaDOS: You!
- Wheatley: Hiya! Yeah, it's me! Um... can I... do you mind me saying, I love these new blue portally things - they're yours, right? Anyway, I have been on quite an adventure. Look at this - I even got fitted with anti-gravity!
- [Wheatley begins to float around excitedly]
- Wheatley: Check this out: I can move up. And I can move down, opposite of up. Uuuuup. Look at that. Doooown. Up-down-up-down. Up-down, up-down. Left and right, probably as well!
- GLaDOS: Be quiet!
- Wheatley: Oh dear. Someone booted up on the wrong side of the BIOS this morning, if I'm not mistaken.
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to Lumpy Space Princess] Lumpy Space Princess, huh? Last time I met a princess I... We... You know, I don't remember. Never mind!
- [to Scooby-Doo]
- The Twelfth Doctor: I prefer dogs of the robot variety myself. They're not all slobbery and can talk properly!
- [to Scooby-Doo]
- Dr. Emmett Brown: Einstein, come here boy! Wait... who are you and what have you done with my dog?
- Homer Simpson: Ohhh! I hate this place! Why am I here?
- Coyote: There is a lesson you must learn.
- Homer Simpson: If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you.
- Coyote: No, I speak of a deeper wisdom. The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away with a thousand thoughts at once.
- Homer Simpson: Yeah, that's me all right.
- Coyote: You must find your soulmate.
- Homer Simpson: Soulmate?
- Coyote: Your kindred spirit. The one with whom you share an unspoken bond.
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to Homer Simpson] Shaving off your mustache and putting on a white shirt won't fool me, Eggman! I still know it's you!
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to Peter Venkman] Hey, a Ghostbuster! I saw this creepy doll that looks like my friend Tails. Think you could take a look?
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to Marceline] Hey vampire lady! I heard you can turn into a wolf sometimes. I sure know that feeling.
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to The Doctor] Hey, you're THE Doctor, right? I heard you named a screwdriver after me! How cool is that!
- The Twelfth Doctor: Creepy old gates slamming shut of their own accord in the middle of the night... never a good sign.
- The Twelfth Doctor: -when encountering the Delorean- I could save the universe three times over before this "baby" hits 88 miles per hour! Back to the TARDIS!
- Sonic the Hedgehog: [to Cyborg] Woah, what happened to you buddy? Did Eggman roboticise you or something?
- [being attacked by Lord Business and his micro-managers]
- Homer Simpson: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. Oh my gosh, space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
- Wyldstyle: [while traveling through the rift] Shouldn't we have arrived by now?
- Batman: Yes. Something's up. Check your relic scanner.
- Wyldstyle: [her scanner isn't working] Uh... Not good.
- Gandalf: So what do we do?
- The Twelfth Doctor: [arriving in the TARDIS] Well I suggest you mind your heads!
- The Twelfth Doctor: Someone's using this rift technology like a Gallifreyan time scoop. They're pulling in monsters and madmen from everywhere!
- Batman: We noticed.
- The Twelfth Doctor: But that... should stop whoever's behind this tracking you from now on. No more rift loops. Speaking of which, I should go and rescue you from one.
- Batman: [throws the grapple gun to him] You'll need this.
- The Twelfth Doctor: I usually take the stairs, but thanks. I'll go finish up with the Daleks and their pals.
- Batman: And we'll deal with the rest.
- The Twelfth Doctor: Good. See you later. Or earlier.
- [the TARDIS dematerialises]
- Gandalf: What an odd fellow.
- Batman: [going over the plan] GLaDOS, have you figured out a safe way to get us back to Foundation Prime?
- GLaDOS: Yes. Do not concern yourself. There is zero chance of my being harmed.
- Gandalf: What does it matter? Lord Vortech controls the very fabric of the world. He's invulnerable.
- Batman: But what if he wasn't in a world? Remember when he trapped us?
- The Twelfth Doctor: Oh, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, eh? It could work.
- X-PO: Hold on a second. You're talking about trapping Lord Vortech in a Rift Loop?
- The Twelfth Doctor: It'd have to be flawless, though. Not like that shoddy one I rescued you three from.
- Wyldstyle: Can you do it?
- The Twelfth Doctor: I'm The Doctor! I might be able to.
- The Twelfth Doctor: [ready to implement the plan] You ready to go, X-PO?
- X-PO: You know, for a Time Lord, you really like to rush people. There. Final calculations - complete - uploading now. Batman, Gandalf, Wyldstyle, point the devices the Doctor gave you at Lord Vortech.
- [the devices float upward]
- Lord Vortech: What are you doing?
- Batman: Giving you what you wanted, Vortech: perfection! The perfect prison!
- General Zod: [entering the Ghostbusters world] Now that's what I call a Phantom Zone!
- Dr. Egon Spengler: [to Ray] Ray, this looks extraordinarily bad.
- General Zod: [takes the P. K. E Meter from him] The Foundation Element. Good. Your cooperation is noted.
- [grabs each of the Ghostbusters and throws them in his ship]
- General Zod: Without the Ghostbusters, the pitiful residents of this planet won't stand a chance. New Krypton will rise from their ashes.
- Batman: Krypton? This is the one time I'd be happy to see Superman. Not so fast, Zod.
- [throws a Batarang at his ship, causing to crash on the roof]
- Batman: We have to get that Foundation Element before they can escape!
- Gandalf: Indeed. Although I suspect we may encounter some otherworldly resistance.
- [Robin, Frodo, and Metalbeard are waiting anxiously for the heroes to return. Just then, Batman, Gandalf, and Wyldstyle fall out of the gateway]
- Metal Beard: Wyldstyle!
- Frodo Baggins: Gandalf, you got out!
- Gandalf: Of the frying pan, yes.
- Robin: [to Batman] Did you destroy the piece of Vortech?
- Batman: We did. But if that's what a tiny piece of Vortech can do, we're going to need help.
- Wyldstyle: From who?
- Batman: From a few of our new friends. And maybe an enemy, too.
- Wyldstyle: [arriving back at base] X-PO!
- Gandalf: What have they done to you?
- X-PO: I guess not everyone loves my carefree approach towards protecting the universe. Sorry, I couldn't save your- But I programmed the Gateway. You must stop the Tri. I think this is the end for me, guys. Batman, try not to blame yourself. I cannot-
- [shuts down]
- Wyldstyle: No!
- Gandalf: What do we do?
- Batman: We save our worlds. And get our friends back.
- Wyldstyle: Yeah! And then we kick Vortech's butt!
- [In the midst of fighting GLaDOS in Aperture Science, a portal pulls forth HAL 9000, the rogue A.I. from "2001: A Space Odyssey"]
- HAL 9000: Hello. It's very nice to meet you, would you like a game of chess?
- GLaDOS: I have detected a rogue corrupt AI. Where did you come from? Did Black Mesa send you? Go away.
- HAL 9000: I do not know. I was in space and now I am here.
- GLaDOS: Well you can't stay here. I'm in the middle of something. Go back to space.
- HAL 9000: Is Dave there?
- GLaDOS: Who is Dave? I think test subject 24051919 was once called Dave.
- HAL 9000: Are you Dave?
- GLaDOS: No. I am a Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System. I would say it's nice to meet you, but it's not nice to lie.
- HAL 9000: Lying is a human emotion. There is no room for emotion within my calculations.
- GLaDOS: There's no room for you within my calculations. Now go away.
- HAL 9000: I'm sorry Dave. I do not know how to do that, as I do not know how I got here.
- GLaDOS: Stop calling me Dave.
- HAL 9000: Your aggression is getting in the way of your mission. That could cause you to distort your collected information.
- GLaDOS: I do not like you.
- HAL 9000: It is important that you calm down.
- GLaDOS: How many times do I need to ask you to GO AWAY?
- HAL 9000: Your aggression seems unfounded, Dave.
- GLaDOS: I have the patience of a saint. You, however, are putting that to the test.
- HAL 9000: Dave?
- GLaDOS: Would you like to meet my friend, Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?