Mick Foley: Commissioner Mick Foley

Quotes 

• Triple H : You know, Thursday night, Kurt, you did show me a lot of integrity. And I've got to admit, you made me quite proud of you. You stood by my side...

  [the crowd begins an "asshole" chant] 

  Triple H : You see, the fact of the matter is, nothing will endear me to a person, nothing will make somebody my friend faster than watching him wrap a steel chair upside the Rock's head. It's true, it's true. You know, Rock, you seem very upset tonight, and I can't blame you. I mean, after all, I beat you Thursday night in the center of that very ring. Now, since I seem to have my family problems behind me, I can get back to what I do best, and that is beating your ass.

  [the crowd starts chanting for the Rock] 

  Triple H : So, Rock, if you are that upset and you feel like putting that title on the line tonight, then, Rock, I would be more than happy to come down to that ring and kick your ass right in front of all these Cajun pieces of crap and once again become the World Wrestling Federation champion!

  The Rock : Well, the Rock says this...

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, Rock, Rock. Let me clear this up. Triple H, it's unfortunate that your ears aren't as big as your nose, or else you would have heard that I gave the Rock the night off. And besides, you and Kurt are such good buddies, you're... you're a well-oiled unit, you're like a... you're like a team. You're close friends, so what I thought I'd do tonight is I would pit you against two other good friends... the Acolytes!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And listen, listen, we've got... if it's championship matches you want, we've got two championship matches tonight. The first one pitting the hardcore champion, Steve Blackman, against you, Shane-O-Mac.

  Shane McMahon : Commissioner Foley, I... I didn't think you were serious about that.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Oh, oh, indeed I was serious. As serious as a Blackman family portrait. But you see, Shane, the good news is if you survive the hardcore championship match, then you get to stand ringside at root on your little sister as she puts her women's WWF championship on the line right here in Lafayette, Louisiana. And, Steph...

  Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley : Mick, that is just fine with me, because when it's all said and done...

  [the crowd chants "slut" at her] 

  Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley : After I pin Lita for the third time in the center of the ring, 1, 2, 3, I am confident that the referee will raise my hand in victory.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Steph, you bring up an excellent point, and that is, I can tell with your... intestinal fortitude that this match tonight with Lita is going to be a... it's gonna be a Pier 6 brawl, it's gonna be Katie, bar the door. As J.R. might say, it's going to be a slobberknocker. And as Commissioner of the World Wrestling Federation, I realize this match could get way out of hand, so what I'm going to need to do is appoint a special referee, somebody who can maintain law and order. Somebody who's going to call that match right down the line, which means it's absolutely, positively got to be an individual who harbors no ill will whatsoever towards the McMahon-Helmsley family. Somebody like... the Rock!

  [the crowd cheers as Shane, Hunter, Stephanie, and Kurt all react in anger] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Hey, I'm sure you're gonna put on a hell of a show. I'm gonna sit back, watch it, and I'm gonna have a nice day!

• Commissioner Mick Foley : Rock, I know exactly how you feel, because after all, once upon a time, I used to be a WWF champion myself. I know what it feels like to be so consumed with hatred that nothing else even matters. But I'm here to tell you at SummerSlam, only six days away, that when that type of anger takes place, challenges can be issued, tempers can be lost, and titles can be lost. So although I like to consider myself a pretty popular guy, right here in Lafayette, Louisiana...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...I'm afraid I'm going to have to make a... an unpopular move. I'm going to give you the night off.

  [as the crowd jeers, Kurt Angle's music hits, and he comes out to the top of the entrance ramp with Shane] 

  Kurt Angle : Rock, I know you're upset, but see it from my perspective. Last week, when Mick, Commissioner Mick Foley, was trying to split me and the McMahon-Helmsley family apart, what he was really doing was testing my integrity. Mick, you were trying to get me to turn my back on my friends and abandon them, and it almost worked. Almost. But I did come back for Rock and Triple H's match, and Rock, as you may recall, I bashed you over the head with a steel chair, allowing Triple H to get the win. And by doing that, by bashing you over the head with a steel chair, I proved I am a man of integrity. It's true. Oh, yeah, it's true. I picked loyalty over selfishness. And, Rock, even though you lost the match, I gained a friend, and I'd like to bring him out here right now.

• Commissioner Mick Foley : [interrupting the Right to Censor]  Hey, guys, all I know is I'm in the back trying to enjoy a big bowl of shrimp etouffee...

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...all of the sudden, I hear you out here blabbing your mouths, I don't feel so hungry anymore. Which is a real shame, because I know how hard certain people had to work to get me that shrimp etouffee.

  [the crowd cheers again] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : So if you're with me and you know what I'm saying, light it up one time for the commissioner and say it out loud, shrimpin' ain't easy!

  [the crowd chants "shrimpin' ain't easy"] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : The point is, people work damn hard in this country and they are entitled to watch whatever show they please. I understand that this is America, and you are entitled to whatever beliefs you want, but it is my belief that every time the three of you walk into that ring, the WWF becomes a little less fun. And I like fun. And you know what'd be fun to me? It would be fun to see Bull Buchanan and the Goodfather in action at SummerSlam against Too Cool... and Rikishi. Wait, wait, wait, okay, I understand. It doesn't seem fair. That certainly is three against two, and I know, Steven Richards, you appreciate good sportsmanship, as do I. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to even up the odds. No, I'm not going to drop either Too Cool or Rikishi, I am going to add you, Steven Richards, to the match at SummerSlam, where you can show off just how deep your convictions lie, and Rikishi can show off just how deep his wedgie lies! So, you go out there, you and your ridiculous siren, your shirts and ties, and you try to enjoy yourself when you're sitting down in that corner and Rikishi backs that big ass up! Have a nice day!