Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Friends with Burger-fits (2014)

H. Jon Benjamin: Bob Belcher, Jimmy Jr.

Photos 

Quotes 

• Linda Belcher : [after Bob wakes up from a nightmare about giving Teddy too many burgers which makes his heart explode] 

  [wakes up] 

  Linda Belcher : What-what happened?

  Bob Belcher : I'm killing Teddy.

  Linda Belcher : What? You're gonna kill Teddy? All right, car's gassed up. That's good. Guess I could home-school the kids 'cause...

  Bob Belcher : No, Lin, the burgers are killing him.

  Linda Belcher : What?

  Bob Belcher : The ones I give him every day.

  Linda Belcher : Oh. Gotcha.

  Bob Belcher : Good God, Linda. You had all that ready?

  Linda Belcher : What? I'm just being supportive.

• Bob Belcher : [to Teddy]  Look, I can't in good conscience serve you a burger every day.

  Teddy : I don't see you shoving a veggie burger down Mort's throat and he eats a burger every day.

  Mort : That's not true. I often get the soup.

• Bob Belcher : [while making a burger for Teddy]  Feels weird cooking a veggie burger. Plus, he's going to know it's not a hamburger.

  Linda Belcher : Nah, nah, Teddy will eat whatever you put in front of him. Remember when he ate that receipt?

• Bob Belcher : Okay, here's the deal, Teddy. I'll... I'll make you soup or salad, but I don't think I can serve you my burgers anymore.

  Teddy : You cutting me off, Bobby?

  Bob Belcher : I guess I am.

  Teddy : You're cutting me off? Is this some kind of sick joke?

  Mort : I think it's for your own good.

  Teddy : You stay the hell out of this, Mort!

• Teddy : Bob, if you take your burgers from me, I will murder you and your mouthy wife.

  Bob Belcher : What?

  Linda Belcher : Huh?

  Teddy : [crying]  I'm sorry! I don't know what I'm saying.

  [gets angry again] 

  Teddy : I'll kill you! Give me a burger!

  Bob Belcher : Teddy! Calm... down.

  Teddy : You calm down!

• Linda Belcher : Bob, you see Teddy every day.

  Bob Belcher : Yeah, but Teddy's not my best friend, Lin. He's my best customer. There's a big difference and I really value that 30 inches of Formica that's between us.

  Gene Belcher : Are you talking about your ding-dong, Daddy? Brag.

• Bob Belcher : [When Teddy signs himself and Bob up for a weekend boot camp]  I don't know, Teddy. That... um... doesn't sound like something I want to do.

  Louise Belcher : What? You've always wanted to do stunts in the woods.

  Gene Belcher : Yeah. Get the hell out of here!

  Tina Belcher : Yeah, go for it, Dad. Do it! Though you've already pulled off the toughest stunt of all: raising three great kids.

• Bob Belcher : [to Kevin about Teddy]  Listen, Kevin, you can't serve this guy your five-pound burger.

  Kevin : Oh, okay, making a note. I can't serve someone a burger in my own restaurant.