- Triple H: You know, I've come out here week after week, you people have made it pretty clear how you feel about me. What's that word you call me?
- [the crowd begins an "asshole" chant]
- Triple H: Yeah, you've made it pretty clear how you feel about me. But just for the record, just so you know, I feel the exact same way about each and every one of you.
- [the audience jeers]
- Triple H: So now that we've cleared that up, you know how I feel, I know how you feel, I'd like to ask you a little question. I'd like to know...
- [the audience chants "asshole" again]
- Triple H: I'd like to know how all of you feel about... my beautiful bride, Stephanie.
- [mixed reactions]
- Triple H: I'm a little bit confused about it, because Thursday on "SmackDown!", as she came out here and poured her soul out to the world, you people began to call her things like...
- [indistinct shouts from the audience]
- Triple H: "Slut". "Whore". You know, you people make me sick. It never ceases to amaze me how you can kill something beautiful. She comes out here to pour her soul to you people, to talk about something beautiful and pure, and you people crap all over her! And the fact of the matter is you're wrong. And the reason I know you're wrong, Steph is no slut. Oh, no. Because Triple H would never marry a slut. At least not intentionally. I mean, marrying a slut is the type of thing you do when you go to, like, Vegas or something like that and somebody slips a mickey in your drink and you get all sloshed and you end up at some cheap chapel somewhere, passed out, and have a shotgun... no, I-I mean a shot-glass wedding. And that is not Stephanie. She is no slut. But now, she comes to me today and she brings me annulment papers. You can't imagine my surprise. This hit me completely out of nowhere. I never saw this coming. Annulment papers. And the truth of the matter is I can't help but blame you!
- [the audience jeers]
- Triple H: For all of this. We were two kids in love, and again, you people have to kill something beautiful. It's you that made this happen with your chants of "slut" and "whore". You drove her to this. She couldn't take it, so she comes to me...
- [fake crying]
- Triple H: And, damn it, she wants out. She wants to call it quits. I mean, I guess if that's what she wants, I mean, hell, I can't do it by myself. I mean, I know how I feel about her, I mean, I know she loves me. I mean... god, there's just so much passion there, but I'm not gonna hold it together by myself. I mean, it's not like... I mean, the kids'll get over it. Oh, wait, we don't have any kids, but who gives a crap, anyways, right? So, if that's what she really wants, then I've come to the conclusion that...
- [fake tears]
- Triple H: Steph, come out here and I'll sign these papers if that's what you really want. Come on out, Steph, and I'll... I'll sign these annulment papers and I'll let you walk away from our wedded bliss.
- Triple H: [offering her a bouquet of roses, Stephanie throws them into the crowd] Now, Steph, I understand you're a McMahon, you're hot-headed. But, you know, I called you out here with all intents and purposes of signing these annulment papers...
- [walking around her and ogling her from behind]
- Triple H: ...but now that I get a look at you standing out here, I'm starting to get all warm and fuzzy inside; especially from certain angles. Steph, I... I just... Steph, you don't know how much you mean to me. I mean, it just, it won't be the same without you in my life. How can I kick your father's ass without you sitting there watching? Who can I get in their face and laugh to if not you? I mean, Steph... you complete me. You know what I'm saying? You complete me. And, Steph, I-I just, I can't sign these. I-I just, I can't find it in myself to do it.
- Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley: [taking the microphone] I'm tired of your games, you insincere son of a bitch.
- [the audience cheers]
- Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley: I hope my father cripples you at Armageddon.
- Triple H: You know, you might be on to something there. If that old goat can beat me at Armageddon, I would sign these damn papers. Yeah, we're on to something here, Steph. If your dad... well, shit, if my dad, can beat me at Armageddon, I will sign these papers and make you a free woman. But... the whole world knows that as long as your old man has a breath in his body, which he might not for very much longer, as long as he has a breath in his body, that I will never receive a shot at the World Wrestling Federation title, because he hates my guts. So I'll tell you what. If he beats me, the wedding is annulled. But if I beat him, then I get my shot at the title.
- Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley: I think I can have that arranged.
- Triple H: Oh, I'm-I'm sure that you can have that arranged; after all, you're my wife, you've got stroke around here.
- [cheers from the audience]
- Triple H: A lot of stroke around here. But, as much as I love every inch of you, Steph, you're still a McMahon, which means I don't believe a damn word you say, so I've gotta hear it from the old goat's mouth himself. If we've got a deal, then I've gotta hear it from Vince. So, I know he's in the back watching, why don't you come out here and let me know if you make this official... Dad.
- [Vince's entrance music hits, and he appears from behind the curtain]
- Triple H: Come on, Vince. Get face to face with me in the ring and tell me. Oh, wait a minute, hold on. Hold on. I forgot. There's a restraining order against you and I've got cops in the back ready to arrest you on TV. And the fact of the matter is, Vince, as a family member, you embarrass me when you get yourself arrested on TV every week, so back yourself up the ramp and make it fifty feet, Jack.
- Vince McMahon: [going back to the top of the entrance ramp] As far as the new provisions in this no-holds-barred match this Sunday, as to whether or not I accept these new provisions, oh, yeah, I do. I accept.
- Triple H: You know, it never ceases to send a little shiver up my spine every one time you McMahons say "I do."
- [doing his imitation of Stephanie]
- Triple H: "I do. Oh, I do."
- Vince McMahon: Let me just say this, Triple H. After this match at Armageddon is over, so too will be your marriage to my daughter, because I promise you, I'm gonna kick your ass from heaven all the way down to hell! And it's not that I don't trust you or anything, but I want this in writing, and by God, this Thursday, I'll have new documentation for you to sign so you can't weasel out of any of these provisions.
- Triple H: You know, Vince, that's fine. You bet... get your lawyers to draw up the papers, and Thursday, you bring 'em to "SmackDown!", because you're an untrusting man. I am a trusting person, I'm very old-school for these things, and while you need a contract, I most times like to do business the old-fashioned way, Vince. I like to do business on, let's say, a handshake or sometimes, just to seal the deal, with, let's say, a kiss.
- [he grabs Stephanie and kisses her]