- Ed Alzate: I could sell rice to an eskimo
- Mandy Baxter: Don't you mean sell ice to an eskimo?
- Ed Alzate: Why would they need ice? It's all around.
- Mike Baxter: Enough with getting Bin Laden, that was three Super Bowls ago, the Von Trapps took less curtain calls.
- Mandy Baxter: Raise my prices? How would you do that?
- [Mike turns the laptop towards her]
- Mike Baxter: Make the numbers bigger.
- Mike Baxter: Are you really sure you should date your employees?
- Bud Baxter: I know, don't crap where you eat.
- Mike Baxter: In Reno, you might not have a choice.
- Mandy Baxter: Dad said it would take a while for my rich customers to find me.
- Eve Baxter: Probably busy on their yachts and stuff.
- Mike Baxter: [to Mandy] You can't hide from the U.S government forever
- Blanca: My cousin's been doing it for 11 years, I mean what cousin?