- Roland Jaycox: You're disgusting!
- Jimmy McGill: Hey, I'm not the one with the sex toilet... I hope you make a lot of money with that thing. Chandler's gonna need it for his therapy!
- Mrs. Strauss: And here I thought all lawyers were idiots.
- Jimmy McGill: No, only half of us are idiots. The other half are crooks.
- Saul Goodman: [after watching Roland demonstrate his unintentionally sexual toilet toy for children] "Look, I'm not saying this thing won't make you rich. I mean, some of your wealthier Pacific rim nations, they'll love this, the crazy bastards."
- [last lines]
- Mike Ehrmantraut: [answering his door] Long way from home, aren't you?
- Detective Sanders: You and me both.
- [first lines]
- Veteran Cop: [knocking on Chuck's front door] Albuquerque police. Hello? Sir, we'd like to talk with you for a minute. Could you open the door, please? Look, we know you're in there. You're casting a shadow through your peephole. All we want to do is talk. Would you please open the door?
- Chuck McGill: I'd, uh, I'd prefer not to, officers.
- Younger Cop: Sir, come on and open up.
- Chuck McGill: I have a condition. Uh, I can't go outside or be exposed to what's out there.
- Veteran Cop: You were able to come outside to steal your neighbor's newspaper.
- Chuck McGill: I didn't steal it. I left $5. The the cover price is 50 cents.
- Veteran Cop: Did your neighbor consent to sell you her paper?
- Chuck McGill: I, uh... She... isn't - Um, officer, let's Let's... Let's talk about something called "probable cause." As I'm sure you know, in the state of New Mexico there is a two-part test to determine whether police officers have an objectively reasonable basis...