Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

A Chic Bar in Ibiza (2014)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Walden Schmidt : When I think of the ten things I want in a wife, you have nine of them. You're my best friend, you're trustworthy, you're loving, you're smart, you'll never leave me.

  Alan Harper : Married or not, till death do us part.

  Walden Schmidt : You're funny, you're understanding. You don't care if I leave the toilet seat up.

  Alan Harper : I actually prefer it. Although the other night I forgot it was up and I had a surprise splash-down. I was like a turtle on its back.

  Walden Schmidt : Right there, that's another one. As long as you're around, I will never be the most awkward guy in the room.

  Alan Harper : So what's the one thing you want in a wife that I don't have?

  Walden Schmidt : [look] 

  Alan Harper : Oh, right, right. I do not have one of those. I barely have one of these.