- Abed Nadir: Speaking of guilt, where's Shirley?
- Jeff Winger: You didn't tell him?
- Annie Edison: I was waiting until we were all together. Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E.
- Ben Chang: Hey, screw you! I can spell.
- [Looks at Abed]
- Ben Chang: Screw you.
- Abed Nadir: My umbrella concern is that you, as a character, represent the end of what I used to call "our show", which was once an unlikely family of misfit students, and is now a pretty loose knit group of students and teachers, none of whom are taking a class together in a school which, as of your arrival, is becoming increasingly grounded, asking questions like, "how do any of us get our money?", "When will we get our degrees", and "What happened to that girl I was dating?", as opposed to questions I consider more important like, "What is real?" "What is sanity?" "Is there a god?" "Where's that Pierce hologram?"
- Britta Perry: [Attempted to serve a bunt sandwich at a customer] Don't think of it as bad baking. Think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype.
- Britta Perry: Frankie's taking over the campus. She cancelled Ladders, she's banning substances, she wants to shut down Shirley's Sandwiches. She called Annie a bitch.
- Annie Edison: She implied I was a bitch.
- Britta Perry: She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who thinks she's better than everyone.
- Annie Edison: Okay, now you're just...
- [Abed cuts her off]
- Britta Perry: I make a movement that we form a second, secret, committee.
- Annie Edison: I second, Britta's motion, not movement.
- Jeff Winger: I third Annie's number two-ing of the movement Britta made.
- Annie Edison: Gross.
- Jeff Winger: Our mission is to preserve the real Greendale. Oppose Frankie or drink. Whatever's easiest.
- Abed Nadir: I'm a little tired from all the drama, the heroes, the villains, monsters.
- Ben Chang: Pokemons.
- Abed Nadir: You're just a person that sees things the way they are.
- Ben Chang: Leprechauns. Scary.
- Abed Nadir: I don't know if I can be like that but, I don't think it makes sense to be against it.
- Ben Chang: You guys ever hear of The Slender Man?
- Abed Nadir: I'd like to try to help you. And if possible, learn from you.
- Ben Chang: You guys on Reddit? 4Chan?
- Frankie Dart: That would be great, Abed.
- Ben Chang: 'Cause it's awesome.
- Frankie Dart: I think we'd all benefit if we were more like you, so what do you say?
- Ben Chang: [Smacks table] Let's order some food!
- Frankie Dart: Let's save Greendale.
- Abed Nadir: Let's save Greendale.
- Ben Chang: Tacoooos! We are something else.
- Dean Pelton: [Over PA] Welcome back to Greendale, now ranking fifth on Colorado's alphabetical listing of community colleges. Rest in peace, Fatboy Slim's DJ School.
- Frankie Dart: I'm sorry, I cannot legally protect or insure a campus with free flowing booze.
- Jeff Winger: Well, I can't teach with free flowing sobriety.
- Frankie Dart: Britta, what is the weekly cost of this restaurant?
- Britta Perry: Oh, that's easy. My dignity.
- Frankie Dart: Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness and converting it into burnt bread and debt.
- Frankie Dart: I took an informal survey to get a sense of how Greendale is perceived. And three themes emerged: weird, passionate, and gross. Now, you want to hang onto that grouping. In marketing, it's what we call the Good Belushi. If I had a magic wand, I would use it to make sure Greendale never had to grow up. I would also probably use it to cut the Magic Wand class that I noticed is actually offered here, as well as VCR Repair, a class called Ladders, and When is it Okay to Shake a Baby? In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. Someone needs to say "I'm in charge", and that person is me. That's my decision. That doesn't mean that we don't work together, but all communication and decisions will go through me.
- Britta Perry: I'm a bartender Annie, I know a little bit more about the human side of service.
- Dave: [Returning a burnt sandwich] I can't eat this. Can I have my money back?
- Britta Perry: You're human garbage.
- Annie Edison: I had an idea about how to deelectrify the pool.
- Frankie Dart: Oh, that's already been dealt with.
- Annie Edison: Okay, well, then, there's...
- Frankie Dart: Oh, let's see.
- [Looks at the to-do list in Annie's binder]
- Frankie Dart: Done, done, deloused, appraised, defused, rebuilt, de-peanut buttered, debunked, spayed, neutered, underway, re-sanctified, plunged, deported and exhumed.
- Frankie Dart: Personally, I don't own a TV.
- Abed Nadir: You're the first person to say that that I didn't immediately delete from my brain.