Robot Chicken (TV Series)

G.I. Jogurt (2014)

Seth Green: Seth Green, Gargamel, Cobra Commander, Storm Shadow, Dr. Mindbender, Roadblock, God, Grim Reaper, Jafar, Iago, Astra, Bomba, Reggie the Snake, Various

Quotes 

• [as the G.I. Joes win an Emmy award in PSAs] 

  Cobra Commander : Look at them, Destro! The Joes churn out pedestrian advice to dead-eyed children, and the public eats it up! "Hey kids, don't play with poles and electric lights!" - reads like a dispatch from the No Shit Clinic!

  Destro : I'll get the nerve gas!

  Cobra Commander : No, you fool, we'll beat them at their own game! We will create our own PSAs!

• Cobra Commander : Okay, Storm Shadow, these two children will be running with scissors. Now this upsets you, and...

  Storm Shadow : Why?

  Cobra Commander : Well, it's dangerous to run with scissors!

  Storm Shadow : I run with katana! Is that not dangerous?

  Cobra Commander : Wow, I hadn't thought of that! Excellent point, Storm Shadow!

  [to Tomax] 

  Cobra Commander : Get this piece of shit off my set!

  [a boy runs with scissors and gets himself killed] 

  Storm Shadow : Well, Cobra Commander, looks like I owe you an apology...

• Baroness : [enters]  Oh, I forgot you guys were in here writing! I was just looking for a hammer to hang my degree in screenwriting from Applebee's! Anything I can do for you while I'm in here?

  [pause] 

  Baroness : Destro?

  Destro : She's actually really funny, guys...

  Cobra Commander : You lost me at "She's". Fuck it, we're doing it without a script!

• Cobra Commander : [reading to two children]  And I think you'll find it's not hard to read when you take the time to... sssound it out.

  [the children giggle] 

  Cobra Commander : Oh, yes, I have a sssmall ssspeech impediment.

  [the children laugh] 

  Cobra Commander : IT'S NOT FUNNY!

  [his helmet falls off, and the children are horrified at his scar-torn face. Commander pulls out a gun and shoots the children] 

  Cobra Commander : Shut. It. Down!