- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: [about Joe] He's walking! The candles that I lit worked!
- Jay Pritchett: Look at him. He's like a sherpa crossed with a mountain goat.
- Phil Dunphy: Here he is, the emperor of escrow, the man who put the 'tude in Tudor, let's give it up for Phil Dunphy! Thanks for the great introduction, me.
- Mitchell Pritchett: We all want people to think the best of us.
- Cameron Tucker: So sometimes we cover things up to protect ourselves.
- Jay Pritchett: But we don't have to be afraid.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Because the truth is always a good thing.
- Mitchell Pritchett: The truth sets us free.
- Cameron Tucker: Brings us closer.
- Señor Kaplan: Quite a shindig you got here. There's some things I wouldn't have done, but they seem to be working out for you.
- Cameron Tucker: Thanks. I just studied all the tapes of your past parties and riffed off your one idea.
- Haley Dunphy: Do you want to get out of that dress?
- Phil Dunphy: Not unless you want to see me in a New Year's baby diaper. That was the big finish for the music number.