- Sekretar Generala: My congratulations, Victor. So young and a colonel already. So what was that "work stuff" you needed to talk to me about?
- Col. Viktor Lebedev: Sveta, why don't we celebrate together, the two of us?
- Sekretar Generala: You, Victor, I would take you up on your offer if only you didn't think of me as just another star on your strap. Congratulations on your promotion, and another star on your strap.
- General: This situation is becoming bothersome. Your friend gets invited to all the crime scenes, undertakes his own investigations, has access to classified information, and yet he is not under our employ. It's messy.
- Col. Viktor Lebedev: He is somewhat of an independent artist, sir.
- General: Well, this is not a community center. This is a secret organization. Listen here, Lebedev, either you pull the proper strings and get your buddy to work for us as a liaison or I never want to see him here again. Your call, Colonel.
- The Sniffer: [standing before modern art] Dead paints.
- Tatyana Voskresenskaya: What?
- The Sniffer: Acrylic paint. Coloring pigment dissolved in polymer emulsion. The smell of polyacrylat blocks out all the other scents. The painting loses its individuality.
- Tatyana Voskresenskaya: You have a funny way of appreciating art.
- The Sniffer: I like oil paints. They have character.
- Keller: The Embassy of Germany no longer requires your services. Furthermore, we are filing a lawsuit against you on charges of slander and will expect compensation for the damage you have caused for the reputation of Germany. Good day.
- Col. Viktor Lebedev: Herr Expert? You fail with painting, but I bring knowledge that will make you happy, under two conditions: You apologize now...
- The Sniffer: We'll see about that. What's condition two?
- Col. Viktor Lebedev: I don't have to wear your protective condom.
- The Sniffer: We'll see about that, too.